by Patrick Astill
There was a report earlier this week about how a postman had been injured in a snowball attack.
He was set upon by two grown men, who must have thought it was a great laugh.
But it was clearly an unsavoury event, because they pushed him off his bike first.
What was really going on here, though? Did the culprits imagine for a fleeting moment that they were enacting a scene from the Beano comic?
Was it on a par with knocking a policeman’s helmet off with an apple, as we saw in the old days?
Their failure to recognise that they had crossed the line shows that perhaps the days of “posties” and “coppers” are long gone, as are the days of childish fun.
For instance, how many kids own a peashooter these days? If they had a catapult would they be in line for a caution for possessing an offensive weapon?
The reality is that the boundaries are somewhat blurred.
My car was pelted with snowballs as I crawled along a snowy High Street this week, but it was some teenaged schoolkids taking pot shots at anything moving slowly enough for them to hit.
If there had been balls of ice involved, resulting in a broken window (as happened in another incident at a Grantham post office this week) perhaps I wouldn’t have been so touched by the winter wonderland feel of it all.
Of course kids want to play. It’s inevitable that older kids will indulge in horseplay. Somehow, fully-grown adults still manage to get involved in vandalism and criminal damage.
Who can teach them the difference? And how can they work out whether a prank is funny or upsetting?
My kids ambushed a neighbour this week with a hail of snowballs as he got out of his car.
He responded by sweeping all the snow from its roof on top of them with his arm as they stood there, bewildered.
Who should be handed the Asbo in that particular scenario?
And what about the men who attached the postman? A caution? An Asbo? Who knows what it would take to make them realise they got it wrong.
If the yobs needed support and rehabilitation from a probation officer – or perhaps punishment in the form of what used to be called community service – they would have to go through the court system at a high financial cost to us all.
But what a lot of fuss, and upset, for presumably what started out as an idea to have a bit of fun.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Wednesday, January 5
Tuesday, January 4
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases
by Patrick Astill
I noticed the chemists are all full of people holding tissues to their noises and looking for their first cold cures of the season.
We get the first bit of cooler, wetter weather and people are claiming flu, coughs, colds and head colds.
All that wind and rain last week surely can’t have wafted bird flu in from paradise?
I really don’t think they can all be ill.
Perhaps it’s psychosomatic – getting up when it’s a bit darker and watching the nights drawing in might just be helping folk imagine themselves into a wintry state of mind.
Are we lulling ourselves into sickness and snot simply because we’re dreading the thought of five months of winter?
We all know that illness can be affected by your thoughts.
Particularly traumatic experiences in life can literally turn people’s hair grey – or make them lose weight or become chronically sick with a whole variety of illness.
So is the same thing happening with the change of seasons on a lesser scale?
They say there’s something called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is down to a lack of sunlight.
But surely that isn’t restricted to the wintertime with our odd climate?
And anyway, that doesn’t give us a cold, just makes us glum.
Back-to-school germ sharing must have finished by now. That annual phenomenon is good news of course, because it hardens off the immune system to battle the dangers ahead …
The clocks haven’t even been put back yet. It’s not been wellie weather for schoolkids. We haven’t had a truly cold night.
Yet everyone seems to have had their heating on.
When I was a lad even the schools weren’t allowed to fire up the boiler until after half-term week.
Maybe the warm environment, combined with people staying in and sitting inside steamed-up public transport is the key?
Or perhaps the first warning shots from mother nature that winter is finally on its way reminded people to stock up on their vitamin C and menthol pastilles … just in case.
That rush to the pharmacy counter might have combined with the snifflers and splutterers to cause the queues this week.
Whatever it is, I’d wager that a healthy outlook on life might count just as much as any over-the-counter proprietary brand.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
I noticed the chemists are all full of people holding tissues to their noises and looking for their first cold cures of the season.
We get the first bit of cooler, wetter weather and people are claiming flu, coughs, colds and head colds.
All that wind and rain last week surely can’t have wafted bird flu in from paradise?
I really don’t think they can all be ill.
Perhaps it’s psychosomatic – getting up when it’s a bit darker and watching the nights drawing in might just be helping folk imagine themselves into a wintry state of mind.
Are we lulling ourselves into sickness and snot simply because we’re dreading the thought of five months of winter?
We all know that illness can be affected by your thoughts.
Particularly traumatic experiences in life can literally turn people’s hair grey – or make them lose weight or become chronically sick with a whole variety of illness.
So is the same thing happening with the change of seasons on a lesser scale?
They say there’s something called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is down to a lack of sunlight.
But surely that isn’t restricted to the wintertime with our odd climate?
And anyway, that doesn’t give us a cold, just makes us glum.
Back-to-school germ sharing must have finished by now. That annual phenomenon is good news of course, because it hardens off the immune system to battle the dangers ahead …
The clocks haven’t even been put back yet. It’s not been wellie weather for schoolkids. We haven’t had a truly cold night.
Yet everyone seems to have had their heating on.
When I was a lad even the schools weren’t allowed to fire up the boiler until after half-term week.
Maybe the warm environment, combined with people staying in and sitting inside steamed-up public transport is the key?
Or perhaps the first warning shots from mother nature that winter is finally on its way reminded people to stock up on their vitamin C and menthol pastilles … just in case.
That rush to the pharmacy counter might have combined with the snifflers and splutterers to cause the queues this week.
Whatever it is, I’d wager that a healthy outlook on life might count just as much as any over-the-counter proprietary brand.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Monday, January 3
Surviving Christmas - just a state of mind?
by Patrick Astill
Yes, it’s the season to be jolly, but it’s also a time when stresses and ailments can take their toll.
Why not give a thought to surviving winter and the festivities, as we ask some experts how you can alleviate those pressures for yourself.
The first step, of course, is to accept that Christmas time will bring additional stresses.
That means that you’ll have to work harder to keep the normal things going and acknowledge from the outset that your current lack of routine – being off work, having lots of visitors and so on - might be unhelpful.
There’s always the danger at Christmas that you try to spread yourself too thinly and aim to please everyone.
The message here, quite simply, is “don’t do it!”.
You should take control of your own destiny. It’s not rude to decline an invitation – after all, you can’t be everywhere at once.
And don't be afraid to say how YOU want to spend Christmas. You’ll be unhappy if everyone else decides what you should do, and when. You are entitled to change things and there's no need to feel guilty or be apologetic.
Try to factor in a day off from full-on socialising or entertaining. You owe it to yourself.
Lincoln-based life coach Philip Underwood said: “You can learn to say no and not feel guilty.
“First of all, you acknowledge the request on your time by saying how nice it was of them to ask.
“Then decline. Say something like, unfortunately I’m not going to be able to do this.
“Then the important part – give a reason. This is where you have to get creative, but it could be something as simple as saying ‘I’ve already committed that time to be with my family’.
“Last of all, offer an alternative. By doing that it puts you in the driving seat.”
And it’s vital to work in some “me” time.
“Christmas is a time for the family but there’s got to be ‘me’ time built into that.
“We are individuals who are part of a family. When we spend so much time with other people we must find time to love ourselves too.
“After all, it is a holiday and time to relax and reflect.”
* TOP TIP: Help preserve calm at tense family gatherings by drawing up a
list of the sensitive topics which are 'banned' (such as politics or
another branch of the family), and agree a present limit to avoid
competition over giving. You may be surprised to find many relatives
feel the same as you do if you have the courage to raise the issue.
There’s a lot of temptation about to over indulge both in terms of food and alcohol.
There's really no need to hoover up everything in sight when you sit down to eat. By making eating a conscious process you'll be in control of the food and let it know you are the boss. Feeling tired and stressed will make you more vulnerable to eating for comfort and drinking to relax which will result in depressing and unhealthy weight gain.
Nutritionist Louise Carder, who runs Lincoln Nutrition, said: “The simple answer is just to be a little bit more aware of what you are eating at this time of year, when it is easy to over-eat.
“A meal sized portion can be approximated by cupping your hands together in a fairly open fashion, your meal should be able to fit in that space.
“Turkey itself is not an unhealthy food, it is everything else that goes along with it, such as calorie laden puddings, alcohol and chocolate.
“Temptation is there, but if you are going to indulge just limit yourself to one mince pie not two.
“The average person puts on 5lbs over the festive period, so if you are going to eat a little more just be aware you will have to work harder in the new year to lose it again.
“Try not to eat for the sake of it. Thirst can often be mistaken for hunger, so have a glass of water and then decide if you really want something to eat.”
Unfortunately, skipping meals can also equal stress.
If you’re busy, relying on coffee and the odd snack means blood sugar drops and in response the body releases stress hormones, which make people feel even more panicky, irritable and anxious.
Women – in particular - juggling work, family and festive preparations often skip meals to save time, and hope it’ll keep them trim.
But that’s a bad idea.
Louise said: “Skipping meals is the worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose weight.
“Skipping meals on a regular basis can lead to problems with blood sugar levels, which can result in headaches, irritability and feeling faint.
“If your blood sugar is low then you tend to crave a quick sugary fix, which satisfies for only a short while before you need another one. It is like being on a sugar roller coaster, with the result being excess calories taken on board via unhealthy sugary foods.
“By not skipping meals you are making sure your blood sugar levels stay more stable and you can then choose the food you want to eat, including healthy options, rather than having short notice cravings that have to be satisfied immediately.”
You can also pace yourself with the booze.
Everyone knows that avoiding the hangover in the first place is by far the best remedy, and celebrity doc Hilary Jones agrees.
He suggests minimising the effects of alcohol by having food before you drink, choosing lower strength drinks like a spritzer (white wine and water), alternating a glass of water with an alcoholic drink and drinking several glasses of water before going to sleep.
If you do go out, and there’s lots to drink on offer, county advice group lincs2alcohol.co.uk suggests these tips to avoid binge drinking:
* Drink long drinks, such as shandy, as they take longer to drink.
* Put your drink down on the table rather than holding it in your hand
as you will drink slower.
* Try to alternate you alcoholic drinks with soft drinks.
* Limit the amount of time you are out. If you know you won’t be home
until late then go out later, are you really missing anything?
* Limit the amount of money you have on you and leave your bank card at
home!
* Sip drinks rather than gulping!
You might need to get firm in refusing alcohol if you start to feel as though you’re losing control, or worry about you actions.
If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to say no, look the person in the eye and ask them firmly to stop buying you drinks.
Don’t feel bad about refusing – the more practice you get, the easier it will become and the less people will ask you about having an alcoholic drink.
If you do succumb, a traditional natural remedy you might try would be Nux Vomica, available from Boots and other health food shops, good for a hangover, nausea, vomiting and constipation.
Jo Smith, healthy lifestyles team leader at the city council, said: “Food Standards Agency advice is that the two main features of a healthy diet are to eat the right amount of food for how active you are and to eat a range of foods to make sure you get a balanced diet.
“This can still be done over Christmas with a little thought. Think about mixing lots of fruit and vegetables with starchy foods like wholemeal bread and protein like meat and fish, and try to keep control of your portion sizes.
“Try to exercise over Christmas too. A Boxing Day walk is a big favourite for working off some of the excesses from Christmas day.
“Our Healthy Lifestyle Team is here to support people in making healthy lifestyle choices. To find out what the Healthy Lifestyles Team can do for you, call 01522 873581 or text CHANGE to 64446.”
You can minimise the risk of a bad cold or flu over the festive period by taking time to plan ahead – without having to trouble your family doctor.
Homeopath and health counsellor Annie Hall, who has a clinic in Lincoln, said: “One of the problems with both colds and flu is that you may well need to change the homeopathic remedy daily.
“While aconite may well help at first, then you may well need pulsatilla or gelsemium if you have full-blown flu, where you can’t move and have heavy limbs.
“It can be done homeopathically, which is what people used long before antibiotics became available.”
She also provides a helpful definition of flu, distinguishing it from a cold or even the notorious ‘man-flu’.
“It’s when you are in bed and ill, no one really knows how ill you are,” she said.
“And even if there was a £50 note floating at the end of your bed, you are far to ill to stretch out and catch it.
“Anything else is a bad cold. If you have that sort of proper flu then stay away from colleagues, they may well not be as fit as they should be and will not thank you for spreading it.”
* TOP TIP: When you’re out wear a woolly scarf and cover up your nose as well as your neck. The nose is the first line of defence against winter germs which cause sore throats and colds, but cold temperatures make the small hairs in our noses, and lungs, which help get rid of mucus and particles, less efficient.
Maybe, just maybe, surviving Christmas is a state of mind.
Be proactive.
As health counsellor Annie Hall, who also has clinics in Stamford and Louth says: “I have a bee in my bonnet about preventative care, so striving for personal happiness so one can share it with others has always been at the top of my list.
“I try to practice what I preach so I walk with my dog, help to look after the grand children, go to a concert, have a good yatter with a friend, read a borrowed good book, learn another tricky Scottish Country Dance, and volunteer with the Stamford Orchard Group.
“All these help to keep me happy. Yes I think I tick most of the boxes, do you?”
* TOP TIP: If you’re missing out on regular exercise, and can't get out for a run or a brisk walk, run up and down stairs several times in the morning and evening. Use water bottles as hand weights, lifting them in spare moments - such as waiting for a phone call or the kettle to boil - to tone upper arms. a walk, or a snowball fight, or get busy with wii fit can help!
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Yes, it’s the season to be jolly, but it’s also a time when stresses and ailments can take their toll.
Why not give a thought to surviving winter and the festivities, as we ask some experts how you can alleviate those pressures for yourself.
The first step, of course, is to accept that Christmas time will bring additional stresses.
That means that you’ll have to work harder to keep the normal things going and acknowledge from the outset that your current lack of routine – being off work, having lots of visitors and so on - might be unhelpful.
There’s always the danger at Christmas that you try to spread yourself too thinly and aim to please everyone.
The message here, quite simply, is “don’t do it!”.
You should take control of your own destiny. It’s not rude to decline an invitation – after all, you can’t be everywhere at once.
And don't be afraid to say how YOU want to spend Christmas. You’ll be unhappy if everyone else decides what you should do, and when. You are entitled to change things and there's no need to feel guilty or be apologetic.
Try to factor in a day off from full-on socialising or entertaining. You owe it to yourself.
Lincoln-based life coach Philip Underwood said: “You can learn to say no and not feel guilty.
“First of all, you acknowledge the request on your time by saying how nice it was of them to ask.
“Then decline. Say something like, unfortunately I’m not going to be able to do this.
“Then the important part – give a reason. This is where you have to get creative, but it could be something as simple as saying ‘I’ve already committed that time to be with my family’.
“Last of all, offer an alternative. By doing that it puts you in the driving seat.”
And it’s vital to work in some “me” time.
“Christmas is a time for the family but there’s got to be ‘me’ time built into that.
“We are individuals who are part of a family. When we spend so much time with other people we must find time to love ourselves too.
“After all, it is a holiday and time to relax and reflect.”
* TOP TIP: Help preserve calm at tense family gatherings by drawing up a
list of the sensitive topics which are 'banned' (such as politics or
another branch of the family), and agree a present limit to avoid
competition over giving. You may be surprised to find many relatives
feel the same as you do if you have the courage to raise the issue.
There’s a lot of temptation about to over indulge both in terms of food and alcohol.
There's really no need to hoover up everything in sight when you sit down to eat. By making eating a conscious process you'll be in control of the food and let it know you are the boss. Feeling tired and stressed will make you more vulnerable to eating for comfort and drinking to relax which will result in depressing and unhealthy weight gain.
Nutritionist Louise Carder, who runs Lincoln Nutrition, said: “The simple answer is just to be a little bit more aware of what you are eating at this time of year, when it is easy to over-eat.
“A meal sized portion can be approximated by cupping your hands together in a fairly open fashion, your meal should be able to fit in that space.
“Turkey itself is not an unhealthy food, it is everything else that goes along with it, such as calorie laden puddings, alcohol and chocolate.
“Temptation is there, but if you are going to indulge just limit yourself to one mince pie not two.
“The average person puts on 5lbs over the festive period, so if you are going to eat a little more just be aware you will have to work harder in the new year to lose it again.
“Try not to eat for the sake of it. Thirst can often be mistaken for hunger, so have a glass of water and then decide if you really want something to eat.”
Unfortunately, skipping meals can also equal stress.
If you’re busy, relying on coffee and the odd snack means blood sugar drops and in response the body releases stress hormones, which make people feel even more panicky, irritable and anxious.
Women – in particular - juggling work, family and festive preparations often skip meals to save time, and hope it’ll keep them trim.
But that’s a bad idea.
Louise said: “Skipping meals is the worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose weight.
“Skipping meals on a regular basis can lead to problems with blood sugar levels, which can result in headaches, irritability and feeling faint.
“If your blood sugar is low then you tend to crave a quick sugary fix, which satisfies for only a short while before you need another one. It is like being on a sugar roller coaster, with the result being excess calories taken on board via unhealthy sugary foods.
“By not skipping meals you are making sure your blood sugar levels stay more stable and you can then choose the food you want to eat, including healthy options, rather than having short notice cravings that have to be satisfied immediately.”
You can also pace yourself with the booze.
Everyone knows that avoiding the hangover in the first place is by far the best remedy, and celebrity doc Hilary Jones agrees.
He suggests minimising the effects of alcohol by having food before you drink, choosing lower strength drinks like a spritzer (white wine and water), alternating a glass of water with an alcoholic drink and drinking several glasses of water before going to sleep.
If you do go out, and there’s lots to drink on offer, county advice group lincs2alcohol.co.uk suggests these tips to avoid binge drinking:
* Drink long drinks, such as shandy, as they take longer to drink.
* Put your drink down on the table rather than holding it in your hand
as you will drink slower.
* Try to alternate you alcoholic drinks with soft drinks.
* Limit the amount of time you are out. If you know you won’t be home
until late then go out later, are you really missing anything?
* Limit the amount of money you have on you and leave your bank card at
home!
* Sip drinks rather than gulping!
You might need to get firm in refusing alcohol if you start to feel as though you’re losing control, or worry about you actions.
If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to say no, look the person in the eye and ask them firmly to stop buying you drinks.
Don’t feel bad about refusing – the more practice you get, the easier it will become and the less people will ask you about having an alcoholic drink.
If you do succumb, a traditional natural remedy you might try would be Nux Vomica, available from Boots and other health food shops, good for a hangover, nausea, vomiting and constipation.
Jo Smith, healthy lifestyles team leader at the city council, said: “Food Standards Agency advice is that the two main features of a healthy diet are to eat the right amount of food for how active you are and to eat a range of foods to make sure you get a balanced diet.
“This can still be done over Christmas with a little thought. Think about mixing lots of fruit and vegetables with starchy foods like wholemeal bread and protein like meat and fish, and try to keep control of your portion sizes.
“Try to exercise over Christmas too. A Boxing Day walk is a big favourite for working off some of the excesses from Christmas day.
“Our Healthy Lifestyle Team is here to support people in making healthy lifestyle choices. To find out what the Healthy Lifestyles Team can do for you, call 01522 873581 or text CHANGE to 64446.”
You can minimise the risk of a bad cold or flu over the festive period by taking time to plan ahead – without having to trouble your family doctor.
Homeopath and health counsellor Annie Hall, who has a clinic in Lincoln, said: “One of the problems with both colds and flu is that you may well need to change the homeopathic remedy daily.
“While aconite may well help at first, then you may well need pulsatilla or gelsemium if you have full-blown flu, where you can’t move and have heavy limbs.
“It can be done homeopathically, which is what people used long before antibiotics became available.”
She also provides a helpful definition of flu, distinguishing it from a cold or even the notorious ‘man-flu’.
“It’s when you are in bed and ill, no one really knows how ill you are,” she said.
“And even if there was a £50 note floating at the end of your bed, you are far to ill to stretch out and catch it.
“Anything else is a bad cold. If you have that sort of proper flu then stay away from colleagues, they may well not be as fit as they should be and will not thank you for spreading it.”
* TOP TIP: When you’re out wear a woolly scarf and cover up your nose as well as your neck. The nose is the first line of defence against winter germs which cause sore throats and colds, but cold temperatures make the small hairs in our noses, and lungs, which help get rid of mucus and particles, less efficient.
Maybe, just maybe, surviving Christmas is a state of mind.
Be proactive.
As health counsellor Annie Hall, who also has clinics in Stamford and Louth says: “I have a bee in my bonnet about preventative care, so striving for personal happiness so one can share it with others has always been at the top of my list.
“I try to practice what I preach so I walk with my dog, help to look after the grand children, go to a concert, have a good yatter with a friend, read a borrowed good book, learn another tricky Scottish Country Dance, and volunteer with the Stamford Orchard Group.
“All these help to keep me happy. Yes I think I tick most of the boxes, do you?”
* TOP TIP: If you’re missing out on regular exercise, and can't get out for a run or a brisk walk, run up and down stairs several times in the morning and evening. Use water bottles as hand weights, lifting them in spare moments - such as waiting for a phone call or the kettle to boil - to tone upper arms. a walk, or a snowball fight, or get busy with wii fit can help!
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Sunday, January 2
Sleeping Beauty, Newark Palace Theatre
by Patrick Astill
This was a panto that had it all.
Big name stars, a comic that really got the crowd going, and – unlike some other big pantos in the area this year – some fantastic set-pieces that everyone loved.
We were treated to a comedy wallpapering sequence, some fun with getting kids from the audience up on stage, the traditional face-off between the dame and a ghost – and much, much more.
It was largely down to the very talented and popular cast. Who'd ever have thought we'd be seeing 70s pianist Bobby Crush sitting centre-stage at his mini-grand, in a bright orange dress, tights and heels, with a ginger wig and bashing out a rock'n'roll piano medley?
There's a time and a place for everything, and this was both the time and the place!
Then we enjoyed Vicki Michelle, from the 'Allo 'Allo sitcom, as Carabosse, the evil fairy, who warmed to her task as the show went on. Working well with Bobby, they executed a vessel-with-the-pestle sequence with aplomb.
Mike Newman Jnr, as Muddles, won the children over from the start, again easing into character to win one of the biggest cheers at the end. With everyone cowering from his water pistols he surprised us all by leaping into the audience to get a better shot!
Everyone has their musical solo and, with some brilliantly executed dance movements from the girls at the Tozer Dance Studios, this must surely be one of the best in Newark for many years.
The spectacular laser light show added to the story, rather than taking over the performance, and it was only at the end when we had time to catch breath that everyone sat back to say "wow".
If you see one panto in Notts this Christmas, make sure it's this one.
First published in the Nottingham Evening Post.
This was a panto that had it all.
Big name stars, a comic that really got the crowd going, and – unlike some other big pantos in the area this year – some fantastic set-pieces that everyone loved.
We were treated to a comedy wallpapering sequence, some fun with getting kids from the audience up on stage, the traditional face-off between the dame and a ghost – and much, much more.
It was largely down to the very talented and popular cast. Who'd ever have thought we'd be seeing 70s pianist Bobby Crush sitting centre-stage at his mini-grand, in a bright orange dress, tights and heels, with a ginger wig and bashing out a rock'n'roll piano medley?
There's a time and a place for everything, and this was both the time and the place!
Then we enjoyed Vicki Michelle, from the 'Allo 'Allo sitcom, as Carabosse, the evil fairy, who warmed to her task as the show went on. Working well with Bobby, they executed a vessel-with-the-pestle sequence with aplomb.
Mike Newman Jnr, as Muddles, won the children over from the start, again easing into character to win one of the biggest cheers at the end. With everyone cowering from his water pistols he surprised us all by leaping into the audience to get a better shot!
Everyone has their musical solo and, with some brilliantly executed dance movements from the girls at the Tozer Dance Studios, this must surely be one of the best in Newark for many years.
The spectacular laser light show added to the story, rather than taking over the performance, and it was only at the end when we had time to catch breath that everyone sat back to say "wow".
If you see one panto in Notts this Christmas, make sure it's this one.
First published in the Nottingham Evening Post.
Saturday, January 1
From TV's The Royal to panto royalty - Michelle Hardwick
by Patrick Astill
You might not spot Princess Jasmine if she walked past you in the street, but that’s something actress Michelle Hardwick has become used to over the years.
Fans would certainly recognise her in her 60s gear as ever-present character Lizzie Hopkirk from TV’s The Royal, who she’s played for six years.
Now resident at the Lincoln’s Theatre Royal for the next five weeks, she’ll be sharing the stage with veteran comedy duo Cannon and Ball, ‘Confessions’ film star Robin Askwith, and Lincoln's own panto dame Steve Barclay as Widow Twankey.
And with the curtain rising on the first performance yesterday, the hard work is only just beginning.
“It is hard work,” she said. “It can be three shows a day, sometimes, and we’ve got a two-hour show. There are 53 shows ahead of us!
“It’s an odd one, panto, because you only have five or six days of rehearsals. I learn my lines before I get there and then concentrate on the songs.
“In television you can be getting up at 6am, sitting in make-up by 6.30am and then it can be 12-hours plus.
“There’s more adrenaline on stage in panto, though, you’ve got to be quick, and working with people like Tommy and Bobby I have to be careful they don’t make me laugh because I’m playing a straight character.”
Michelle started off on The Royal when she was 25 and did eight series in all. In fact, she worked with Bobby Ball on one story while he was doing straight acting.
Working with Cannon and Ball is a privilege and a pleasure, she said: “It’s natural to them; they are such professionals. It’s been a good mix of laughing and not too much messing about.
“It’s fabulous for me because when I was younger I wanted to go to see them. I did have red braces that said ‘Rock on Tommy’ on them, but I haven’t dared tell them that!”
In panto, of course you can get away with any slip-ups. But not so much when Michelle is on stage by herself or in a two-hander.
That’s why her musical numbers are so important, because she up there on her own and the audience can share her love of music.
“I’m not a trained singer,” she said, “I’m an actress who can hold a tune! I enjoy singing, and if you enjoy something it makes it so much better.”
She’s all for traditional panto, and happy there’s a female principal boy as Aladdin, and that last year when she was in a Cinderella, there was a female prince, in Dandini.
So what’s her panto highlight this season? “For me it’s the scenes like the one where I am choosing the lamp and the kids are going through the roof – it’s the reaction from the children, being on stage and bringing them in to the show. It’s magical.”
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
You might not spot Princess Jasmine if she walked past you in the street, but that’s something actress Michelle Hardwick has become used to over the years.
Fans would certainly recognise her in her 60s gear as ever-present character Lizzie Hopkirk from TV’s The Royal, who she’s played for six years.
Now resident at the Lincoln’s Theatre Royal for the next five weeks, she’ll be sharing the stage with veteran comedy duo Cannon and Ball, ‘Confessions’ film star Robin Askwith, and Lincoln's own panto dame Steve Barclay as Widow Twankey.
And with the curtain rising on the first performance yesterday, the hard work is only just beginning.
“It is hard work,” she said. “It can be three shows a day, sometimes, and we’ve got a two-hour show. There are 53 shows ahead of us!
“It’s an odd one, panto, because you only have five or six days of rehearsals. I learn my lines before I get there and then concentrate on the songs.
“In television you can be getting up at 6am, sitting in make-up by 6.30am and then it can be 12-hours plus.
“There’s more adrenaline on stage in panto, though, you’ve got to be quick, and working with people like Tommy and Bobby I have to be careful they don’t make me laugh because I’m playing a straight character.”
Michelle started off on The Royal when she was 25 and did eight series in all. In fact, she worked with Bobby Ball on one story while he was doing straight acting.
Working with Cannon and Ball is a privilege and a pleasure, she said: “It’s natural to them; they are such professionals. It’s been a good mix of laughing and not too much messing about.
“It’s fabulous for me because when I was younger I wanted to go to see them. I did have red braces that said ‘Rock on Tommy’ on them, but I haven’t dared tell them that!”
In panto, of course you can get away with any slip-ups. But not so much when Michelle is on stage by herself or in a two-hander.
That’s why her musical numbers are so important, because she up there on her own and the audience can share her love of music.
“I’m not a trained singer,” she said, “I’m an actress who can hold a tune! I enjoy singing, and if you enjoy something it makes it so much better.”
She’s all for traditional panto, and happy there’s a female principal boy as Aladdin, and that last year when she was in a Cinderella, there was a female prince, in Dandini.
So what’s her panto highlight this season? “For me it’s the scenes like the one where I am choosing the lamp and the kids are going through the roof – it’s the reaction from the children, being on stage and bringing them in to the show. It’s magical.”
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Thursday, November 25
Hawkwind - they're a work of art
by Patrick Astill
Legendary space rockers Hawkwind play at Lincoln Engine Shed on December 6, and while founder member Dave Brock is pleased to be back on the road, he’s equally proud of the band’s first studio album for five long years, Blood of the Earth.
Listening to the work of art, it’s clear that the brand new tracks meld well with a couple of tried and tested – if re-worked – numbers that the band enjoy playing.
They’re clearly not just a bunch of ageing hippies, but instead work hard to develop and move forward with their music.
Sweet Obsession, for instance, was a solo release from 1984 which Dave has this time recorded with the band, to great effect.
“Falling in love and looking at shop windows, following your girlfriend around, having the courage to talk to her after a tiff – that’s what that’s all about,” he told Weekender.
“The album’s a bit different – you constantly have to do something different. It’s an art form.
“We started recording and started the album, didn’t like it and then started again.
“I haven’t listened to it since we completed it. Once the work’s done I tend to move onto the next thing.”
It’s fair to say that it would be worth a listen, Dave, and I tell him so. I enjoyed the first couple, which were instrumentals, and then it got into the best stuff, Sweet Obsession, Comfy Chair, and Prometheus – a strong middle section to the collection.
He laughs and we move on to talk about the tour, a 16-date affairs which is just the start, as the band moves on to Australia next spring.
“It’s nice to be in a position where we can do what we like,” he said.
“When you first start off you just live for the next day but these days there’ a lot more planning and we’re booking next year’s tour.
“We know most of the places we play at but I now find it a bit wearing! We do the tour bus and sometime stay in hotels but being such a light sleeper, I don't sleep that well on the tour bus... but I wouldn’t do it all if I didn’t like it!
“The music’s different every night. It’s the same numbers but we’re playing different solos and enjoying ourselves.”
And the fans enjoy it too, a surprising variety in the crowd
“We’ve got old ones and new ones. We do our own Hawkfest where we get to meet fans and friends and see their families and kids growing up.
“That means they range from very young to very old.
“It’s like when I was growing up in Notting Hill and we used to have reggae bands playing in the street with everyone joining in. that’s what music should be like.”
As for the next album?
Dave promises: “That won’t take as long as the last one! We’re doing it now. We’re writing new stuff all the time – it’s really boring if you don’t develop. We are artists.”
Legendary space rockers Hawkwind play at Lincoln Engine Shed on December 6, and while founder member Dave Brock is pleased to be back on the road, he’s equally proud of the band’s first studio album for five long years, Blood of the Earth.
Listening to the work of art, it’s clear that the brand new tracks meld well with a couple of tried and tested – if re-worked – numbers that the band enjoy playing.
They’re clearly not just a bunch of ageing hippies, but instead work hard to develop and move forward with their music.
Sweet Obsession, for instance, was a solo release from 1984 which Dave has this time recorded with the band, to great effect.
“Falling in love and looking at shop windows, following your girlfriend around, having the courage to talk to her after a tiff – that’s what that’s all about,” he told Weekender.
“The album’s a bit different – you constantly have to do something different. It’s an art form.
“We started recording and started the album, didn’t like it and then started again.
“I haven’t listened to it since we completed it. Once the work’s done I tend to move onto the next thing.”
It’s fair to say that it would be worth a listen, Dave, and I tell him so. I enjoyed the first couple, which were instrumentals, and then it got into the best stuff, Sweet Obsession, Comfy Chair, and Prometheus – a strong middle section to the collection.
He laughs and we move on to talk about the tour, a 16-date affairs which is just the start, as the band moves on to Australia next spring.
“It’s nice to be in a position where we can do what we like,” he said.
“When you first start off you just live for the next day but these days there’ a lot more planning and we’re booking next year’s tour.
“We know most of the places we play at but I now find it a bit wearing! We do the tour bus and sometime stay in hotels but being such a light sleeper, I don't sleep that well on the tour bus... but I wouldn’t do it all if I didn’t like it!
“The music’s different every night. It’s the same numbers but we’re playing different solos and enjoying ourselves.”
And the fans enjoy it too, a surprising variety in the crowd
“We’ve got old ones and new ones. We do our own Hawkfest where we get to meet fans and friends and see their families and kids growing up.
“That means they range from very young to very old.
“It’s like when I was growing up in Notting Hill and we used to have reggae bands playing in the street with everyone joining in. that’s what music should be like.”
As for the next album?
Dave promises: “That won’t take as long as the last one! We’re doing it now. We’re writing new stuff all the time – it’s really boring if you don’t develop. We are artists.”
Thursday, November 18
'You can't keep a good fox down' - boom! boom!
by Patrick Astill
The cheeky fox himself answered the phone when I called Basil Brush to find out more about his show at the Theatre Royal later this month.
With a string of dreadful, quickfire one-liners and terrible puns, it was soon clear that he’d lost none of his sharpness in 40 years of entertaining.
Resting in a “rather splendid foxhole” in deepest Surrey while on tour, he confessed that he didn’t have to share digs with his long-suffering TV partner, Mr Stephen, who’s also in the show.
“I wouldn’t share anything with him,” said Basil. “It was bad enough sharing a flat with him. He went to Broadway you know, before we got back on the road - Ealing Broadway, Boom Boom!”
For those who can remember, Basil retired in the late 1980s for 20 years, but returned to showbiz because, he says, “Auntie Beeb begged me to come back. You can’t keep a good fox down!”
I told Basil that I was almost as old as he is - and remember his first spell on our screens, when he became famous the world over and even performed in the Royal Variety Show.
“You saw me in flares then?” he asks. “I had to stop wearing them as it was attracting rescue teams.”
Of course, the little fella moves with the times and now dresses slightly differently to appeal to the youngsters.
“I’ve taken the lead in a modern world. Yo! Brother, it’s cos I is orange geezer,” he said, before confiding that he actually owns a couple of hoodies.
Still on the topic of clothes, he asks if I’ve seen him presenting the new Swap Shop on Saturday mornings. I had to confess that I hadn’t, but remembered the Noel Edmonds version.
Quick as a flash, he replied: “Yes, they asked me to do it because I’m furry and had bad taste in clothes too!”
He’s glad to be visiting to Lincoln again, to see the mums, dads and children, ending a tour of live shows.
“On television you don’t get to hear the laughs,” he said. “I love the fact that on stage I can hear the boys and girls laughing their heads off.
“We’ve always come to the Theatre Royal on tour, it’s just the one show this time so we want to get it full up!”
There will be the chance for children to give Mr Stephen a cream pie in the face, and lots of singing and joining in.
A full supporting cast includes Gameshow Charlie, who will give the audience a chance to win big prizes in some crazy games, award-winning circus star The Amazing Jeni – as well as some monkey business from Cheryl Chimp.
SAMPLE JOKE: Why do the Teletubbies always go to the toilet together? Because they've only got one tinkie winkie. Boom Boom!!”
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
The cheeky fox himself answered the phone when I called Basil Brush to find out more about his show at the Theatre Royal later this month.
With a string of dreadful, quickfire one-liners and terrible puns, it was soon clear that he’d lost none of his sharpness in 40 years of entertaining.
Resting in a “rather splendid foxhole” in deepest Surrey while on tour, he confessed that he didn’t have to share digs with his long-suffering TV partner, Mr Stephen, who’s also in the show.
“I wouldn’t share anything with him,” said Basil. “It was bad enough sharing a flat with him. He went to Broadway you know, before we got back on the road - Ealing Broadway, Boom Boom!”
For those who can remember, Basil retired in the late 1980s for 20 years, but returned to showbiz because, he says, “Auntie Beeb begged me to come back. You can’t keep a good fox down!”
I told Basil that I was almost as old as he is - and remember his first spell on our screens, when he became famous the world over and even performed in the Royal Variety Show.
“You saw me in flares then?” he asks. “I had to stop wearing them as it was attracting rescue teams.”
Of course, the little fella moves with the times and now dresses slightly differently to appeal to the youngsters.
“I’ve taken the lead in a modern world. Yo! Brother, it’s cos I is orange geezer,” he said, before confiding that he actually owns a couple of hoodies.
Still on the topic of clothes, he asks if I’ve seen him presenting the new Swap Shop on Saturday mornings. I had to confess that I hadn’t, but remembered the Noel Edmonds version.
Quick as a flash, he replied: “Yes, they asked me to do it because I’m furry and had bad taste in clothes too!”
He’s glad to be visiting to Lincoln again, to see the mums, dads and children, ending a tour of live shows.
“On television you don’t get to hear the laughs,” he said. “I love the fact that on stage I can hear the boys and girls laughing their heads off.
“We’ve always come to the Theatre Royal on tour, it’s just the one show this time so we want to get it full up!”
There will be the chance for children to give Mr Stephen a cream pie in the face, and lots of singing and joining in.
A full supporting cast includes Gameshow Charlie, who will give the audience a chance to win big prizes in some crazy games, award-winning circus star The Amazing Jeni – as well as some monkey business from Cheryl Chimp.
SAMPLE JOKE: Why do the Teletubbies always go to the toilet together? Because they've only got one tinkie winkie. Boom Boom!!”
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Saturday, November 13
For those who never came home
by Patrick Astill
Tomorrow the nation will come together in an act of remembrance.
Some people might not agree with what they see as glorification of war and a celebration of conflict.
But that’s not why we stand in silence to remember the millions who perished in two world wars and many subsequent conflicts.
We wear our poppies not just an act of remembrance – but as a warning, to ourselves and our politicians to never let the horrors of warfare be repeated.
Our future leaders are the children of today and they should be aware of our nation’s past, and how it shaped the people who live here today.
For instance, on July 1, 1916, the British Army sustained 57,470 casualties, 19,240 of whom were killed. Yet that is a pinprick in the the 885,000 military deaths among UK forces from the First World War, or the 382,000 from the Second World War. Many more millions died, especially among Russian soldiers, while in Japan, 120,000 people died in the four months after the Hiroshima atom bomb was dropped.
Often, children do not know any of this. For most, history is not an option to GCSE level because it is such a dry subject. There are few parents and grandparents who have direct link to wartime - many people’s memories now may only be of past-war rationing.
There has to be a place for it in the curriculum so that young people can learn of the horrors of the Somme, Ypres and countless battlefields across Europe.
If they can see, hear and understand where the politicians went wrong, perhaps we can avoid future bloodshed and ensure it never happens again.
Our troops continue struggle to help bring democracy to the world today, and whether or not we agree with the individual campaigns, the poppy is a symbol for those who wish to show their appreciation for all who have fallen in the past, whether or not you agree that Britain today is a country worth dying for.
So there will be a poignant moment tomorrow when a hush falls over small groups of people dotted around the country.
We too will stand at a war memorial tomorrow, with our children, aged seven and five, and tell them – as we do every year – that we’re thinking of the daddies who never came home.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Tomorrow the nation will come together in an act of remembrance.
Some people might not agree with what they see as glorification of war and a celebration of conflict.
But that’s not why we stand in silence to remember the millions who perished in two world wars and many subsequent conflicts.
We wear our poppies not just an act of remembrance – but as a warning, to ourselves and our politicians to never let the horrors of warfare be repeated.
Our future leaders are the children of today and they should be aware of our nation’s past, and how it shaped the people who live here today.
For instance, on July 1, 1916, the British Army sustained 57,470 casualties, 19,240 of whom were killed. Yet that is a pinprick in the the 885,000 military deaths among UK forces from the First World War, or the 382,000 from the Second World War. Many more millions died, especially among Russian soldiers, while in Japan, 120,000 people died in the four months after the Hiroshima atom bomb was dropped.
Often, children do not know any of this. For most, history is not an option to GCSE level because it is such a dry subject. There are few parents and grandparents who have direct link to wartime - many people’s memories now may only be of past-war rationing.
There has to be a place for it in the curriculum so that young people can learn of the horrors of the Somme, Ypres and countless battlefields across Europe.
If they can see, hear and understand where the politicians went wrong, perhaps we can avoid future bloodshed and ensure it never happens again.
Our troops continue struggle to help bring democracy to the world today, and whether or not we agree with the individual campaigns, the poppy is a symbol for those who wish to show their appreciation for all who have fallen in the past, whether or not you agree that Britain today is a country worth dying for.
So there will be a poignant moment tomorrow when a hush falls over small groups of people dotted around the country.
We too will stand at a war memorial tomorrow, with our children, aged seven and five, and tell them – as we do every year – that we’re thinking of the daddies who never came home.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Friday, November 12
Anyone can be bullied - labels just don’t work
by Patrick Astill
Anyone who has ever been bullied at school, whether on a one-to-one basis in the cloakrooms or in full public view of the class, will know the effect it can have.
The victim might feel isolated, because so many people ignore their plight – or they may simply be too scared to stand up to the bully.
They might feign illness to avoid school altogether, or develop other symptoms as a result of the stress.
It’s a frightening experience, can isolate people and damage a youngster’s self-confidence.
It can take many forms, from repeatedly picking on a child to muddying their shoes. From hiding a PE kit to demanding their dinner money.
If you think that bullying is confined to the school playground then think again.
Bullying UK gets complaints about what happens on and off the sports pitch too.
It isn't just other players who are the problem but parents, coaches and team managers can also be guilty of bullying behaviour.
The pattern isn’t just seen among children. It can be repeated later in life too, with workplace bullying.
It might not be as simple as getting all the worst jobs or assignments to do.
There might also be office politics, or someone who sees their chance to taunt with “I know something you don’t know” or subtle manipulation – even in such unlikely areas as the tea-making rota – during the working day.
However, figures suggest that a quarter of children have experienced bullying in the past year or so, with a lack of action by a parent or bystander often fuelling the problem: a child or adult who sees bullying but doesn't act, a parent who offers little support, or a school which doesn't take positive steps to prevent bullying can all exacerbate the situation.
Other children, parents and schools often know bullying is occurring. The Anti-Bullying Alliance says this means that it's everyone's responsibility to try to beat it.
The Alliance is adopting the theme of 'Taking Action Together' for this year's Anti-Bullying Week, which starts on November 15.
ABA’s Sue Steel said: "We can all take action together to create an environment where children understand what they need to know about bullying and that it's wrong, and that if they see or experience it there are things in place that mean appropriate action will be taken.
"It's everybody's responsibility to make sure that we've got what it takes to keep people safe from bullying.”
Getting everyone in the community to pledge action against bullying together could be in the form of a teacher making sure they regularly include anti-bullying messages in their lessons, or a community club developing a clear anti-bullying policy.
Children, parents and schools can all take action together to beat bullying.
Similarly, if a parent hasn't talked to a child about how to stay safe online when using social networking sites for instance, once again they are “standing by” and opening the door for cyber-bullying could take place.
This cyber-bullying – through use of mobile phones and websites - is a growing problem, with victims getting younger as children are given mobile phones and become computer-savvy at an earlier age.
Fourteen-year-old Louise Marshall is a finalist in the Miss Teen Galaxy-UK contest in the spring and is using the contest as a platform to inform people about her experiences of being bullied.
“It was mostly cyber bullying but I also got called names and was kicked out of groups,” she said.
“I kept it to myself for a long time before I eventually told my mum and she helped me approach the school.
“I was quite scared about doing that and couldn’t have done it without her.”
That set in motion a train of events which helped her to get where she is now, making a fresh start and living a proper life again.
“Moving schools changed me completely,” said Louise, who’s from North Hykeham.
Making new friends and enjoying life made her realise she wasn’t the odd one out and that it was the bullies who were wrong, and not her.
Recent research by the Department For Children, Schools And Families found that more than a third of 12 to 15-year-olds had been cyber-bullied.
This can be nasty or threatening text messages or e-mails and vicious rumours spread via social networking websites or circulation of cruel or embarrassing pictures circulated on the Internet.
Lincolnshire County Council, which runs most of the county’s schools, is well versed in what can trigger bullying and how to deal with it.
The authority recognises that school days are a time when the influence of other children is very important and fitting in is seen as essential.
Sophie Whitehead’s job as anti-bullying officer at the county council came about after a steering group was set up which identified to need for a co-ordinated service across all the related areas such as teenage services, school improvement and helping schools departments.
She said: “All schools by law have to have an anti-bullying policy.
“Initiatives in Lincolnshire include resources for schools, assemblies and lesson plans.
“For anti-bullying week we are sending a CD out to every school in the county and we’re running workshops for schools where a team of people will travel to 52 schools across the county to explain the issues.”
It’s when children are thought of as different for any reason that they can be picked on and bullied.
Sadly, we still live in a society in which to be different in any way can mean ridicule and bullying (often copied from parents) and this ensures that prejudice will continue into the next generation.
It is crucial to be alert to the possibility of bullying and make sure you know the telltale signs.
For instance, it’s unhelpful to suggest that there's a type of child who bullies or who is bullied, as it suggests there's nothing that can be done about it.
Child psychologist Sam Bishop, who advises the Anti-Bullying Alliance, said: “It’s not about typologies but about situation that a child might be in. The labels just don’t work.
“It’s to do with people who are perceived as different, whether it’s special education, home environment, race and several other different things.
“It is very difficult to generalise. The main differences are with gender.”
She said that the patterns in girl bullying were different those among boys, with girls indulging in manipulation of relationships while boys’ bullying was more to do with aggression.
“The girls peak in Year 9 (aged 13 or 14) when everything in their life begins to change.
“Boys tend to be pushing and shoving in a hierarchical way when they go to secondary school because they have to establish who’s in charge and so on.”
Sue Steel added: "All sorts of children bully, and children are bullied for all sorts of reasons, but it's important to acknowledge that this behaviour is happening, it's wrong and that it needs to stop."
"We have to recognise that it can be difficult for children to support each other when bullying occurs, even though they know it's the right thing to do.”
WHAT CAN INDIVIDUAL CHILDREN DO?
* refuse to pass on gossip or hurtful text messages;
* choose not to watch bullying – and walk away instead;
* be kind and supportive to the victim;
* ask if they‘d like help to tell someone;
* do only what they feel it’s safe to do;
* tell a trusted adult or older pupil, if they feel they can;
* refuse to put up with bullying;
* walk away, tell an adult or friend – and avoid fighting.
-- WHAT CAN PARENTS/CARERS DO?
* listen to their child if they find out they’re being bullied;
* discuss what they‘d like to happen;
* talk to the school, if they feel it’s something they can’t sort themselves;
* chat with your child about their school day;
* teach your child to respect others from a young age;
* explain why bullying is unacceptable.
Useful websites:
bullying.co.uk
Anti-bullying Alliance
Anti-cyber bullying website
Dealing with bullying at work
Bullied at work? It’s more common than you might think.
Bullying and harassment is any unwanted behaviour that makes someone feel intimidated, degraded, humiliated or offended.
It is not always obvious or apparent to others, and can happen without an employer's awareness. It tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time, which individually would not form a case.
It can be when manager only communicate via e-mails to you, or you end up being the one who has to make the tea. It could be constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature, from a boss or a work colleague.
Bullying from colleagues is just as distressing, when they blur the lines between friendship, loyalty and manipulation.
If you worry that you are being targeted, conciliation service ACAS suggests that you talk to other colleagues to find out if anyone else is suffering or has witnessed what's happened to you, and perhaps see someone who you feel comfortable with to discuss the problem, maybe someone in HR or a company counsellor if you have one.
If you have a trade union or staff representative you an talk to them.
In any case, ACAS advises that you keep a diary of all incidents to record dates, times, witnesses and your feelings. You should also keep copies of anything relevant, such as letters, memos, e-mails and notes of meetings.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Anyone who has ever been bullied at school, whether on a one-to-one basis in the cloakrooms or in full public view of the class, will know the effect it can have.
The victim might feel isolated, because so many people ignore their plight – or they may simply be too scared to stand up to the bully.
They might feign illness to avoid school altogether, or develop other symptoms as a result of the stress.
It’s a frightening experience, can isolate people and damage a youngster’s self-confidence.
It can take many forms, from repeatedly picking on a child to muddying their shoes. From hiding a PE kit to demanding their dinner money.
If you think that bullying is confined to the school playground then think again.
Bullying UK gets complaints about what happens on and off the sports pitch too.
It isn't just other players who are the problem but parents, coaches and team managers can also be guilty of bullying behaviour.
The pattern isn’t just seen among children. It can be repeated later in life too, with workplace bullying.
It might not be as simple as getting all the worst jobs or assignments to do.
There might also be office politics, or someone who sees their chance to taunt with “I know something you don’t know” or subtle manipulation – even in such unlikely areas as the tea-making rota – during the working day.
However, figures suggest that a quarter of children have experienced bullying in the past year or so, with a lack of action by a parent or bystander often fuelling the problem: a child or adult who sees bullying but doesn't act, a parent who offers little support, or a school which doesn't take positive steps to prevent bullying can all exacerbate the situation.
Other children, parents and schools often know bullying is occurring. The Anti-Bullying Alliance says this means that it's everyone's responsibility to try to beat it.
The Alliance is adopting the theme of 'Taking Action Together' for this year's Anti-Bullying Week, which starts on November 15.
ABA’s Sue Steel said: "We can all take action together to create an environment where children understand what they need to know about bullying and that it's wrong, and that if they see or experience it there are things in place that mean appropriate action will be taken.
"It's everybody's responsibility to make sure that we've got what it takes to keep people safe from bullying.”
Getting everyone in the community to pledge action against bullying together could be in the form of a teacher making sure they regularly include anti-bullying messages in their lessons, or a community club developing a clear anti-bullying policy.
Children, parents and schools can all take action together to beat bullying.
Similarly, if a parent hasn't talked to a child about how to stay safe online when using social networking sites for instance, once again they are “standing by” and opening the door for cyber-bullying could take place.
This cyber-bullying – through use of mobile phones and websites - is a growing problem, with victims getting younger as children are given mobile phones and become computer-savvy at an earlier age.
Fourteen-year-old Louise Marshall is a finalist in the Miss Teen Galaxy-UK contest in the spring and is using the contest as a platform to inform people about her experiences of being bullied.
“It was mostly cyber bullying but I also got called names and was kicked out of groups,” she said.
“I kept it to myself for a long time before I eventually told my mum and she helped me approach the school.
“I was quite scared about doing that and couldn’t have done it without her.”
That set in motion a train of events which helped her to get where she is now, making a fresh start and living a proper life again.
“Moving schools changed me completely,” said Louise, who’s from North Hykeham.
Making new friends and enjoying life made her realise she wasn’t the odd one out and that it was the bullies who were wrong, and not her.
Recent research by the Department For Children, Schools And Families found that more than a third of 12 to 15-year-olds had been cyber-bullied.
This can be nasty or threatening text messages or e-mails and vicious rumours spread via social networking websites or circulation of cruel or embarrassing pictures circulated on the Internet.
Lincolnshire County Council, which runs most of the county’s schools, is well versed in what can trigger bullying and how to deal with it.
The authority recognises that school days are a time when the influence of other children is very important and fitting in is seen as essential.
Sophie Whitehead’s job as anti-bullying officer at the county council came about after a steering group was set up which identified to need for a co-ordinated service across all the related areas such as teenage services, school improvement and helping schools departments.
She said: “All schools by law have to have an anti-bullying policy.
“Initiatives in Lincolnshire include resources for schools, assemblies and lesson plans.
“For anti-bullying week we are sending a CD out to every school in the county and we’re running workshops for schools where a team of people will travel to 52 schools across the county to explain the issues.”
It’s when children are thought of as different for any reason that they can be picked on and bullied.
Sadly, we still live in a society in which to be different in any way can mean ridicule and bullying (often copied from parents) and this ensures that prejudice will continue into the next generation.
It is crucial to be alert to the possibility of bullying and make sure you know the telltale signs.
For instance, it’s unhelpful to suggest that there's a type of child who bullies or who is bullied, as it suggests there's nothing that can be done about it.
Child psychologist Sam Bishop, who advises the Anti-Bullying Alliance, said: “It’s not about typologies but about situation that a child might be in. The labels just don’t work.
“It’s to do with people who are perceived as different, whether it’s special education, home environment, race and several other different things.
“It is very difficult to generalise. The main differences are with gender.”
She said that the patterns in girl bullying were different those among boys, with girls indulging in manipulation of relationships while boys’ bullying was more to do with aggression.
“The girls peak in Year 9 (aged 13 or 14) when everything in their life begins to change.
“Boys tend to be pushing and shoving in a hierarchical way when they go to secondary school because they have to establish who’s in charge and so on.”
Sue Steel added: "All sorts of children bully, and children are bullied for all sorts of reasons, but it's important to acknowledge that this behaviour is happening, it's wrong and that it needs to stop."
"We have to recognise that it can be difficult for children to support each other when bullying occurs, even though they know it's the right thing to do.”
WHAT CAN INDIVIDUAL CHILDREN DO?
* refuse to pass on gossip or hurtful text messages;
* choose not to watch bullying – and walk away instead;
* be kind and supportive to the victim;
* ask if they‘d like help to tell someone;
* do only what they feel it’s safe to do;
* tell a trusted adult or older pupil, if they feel they can;
* refuse to put up with bullying;
* walk away, tell an adult or friend – and avoid fighting.
-- WHAT CAN PARENTS/CARERS DO?
* listen to their child if they find out they’re being bullied;
* discuss what they‘d like to happen;
* talk to the school, if they feel it’s something they can’t sort themselves;
* chat with your child about their school day;
* teach your child to respect others from a young age;
* explain why bullying is unacceptable.
Useful websites:
bullying.co.uk
Anti-bullying Alliance
Anti-cyber bullying website
Dealing with bullying at work
Bullied at work? It’s more common than you might think.
Bullying and harassment is any unwanted behaviour that makes someone feel intimidated, degraded, humiliated or offended.
It is not always obvious or apparent to others, and can happen without an employer's awareness. It tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time, which individually would not form a case.
It can be when manager only communicate via e-mails to you, or you end up being the one who has to make the tea. It could be constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature, from a boss or a work colleague.
Bullying from colleagues is just as distressing, when they blur the lines between friendship, loyalty and manipulation.
If you worry that you are being targeted, conciliation service ACAS suggests that you talk to other colleagues to find out if anyone else is suffering or has witnessed what's happened to you, and perhaps see someone who you feel comfortable with to discuss the problem, maybe someone in HR or a company counsellor if you have one.
If you have a trade union or staff representative you an talk to them.
In any case, ACAS advises that you keep a diary of all incidents to record dates, times, witnesses and your feelings. You should also keep copies of anything relevant, such as letters, memos, e-mails and notes of meetings.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Friday, November 5
Is it a sad state of affairs for people in their late 30s...?
by Patrick Astill
A new report suggests that the age-old mid-life crisis is affecting people not in their late 40s and beyond – but more commonly between 35 and 44 years old.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that men will go out and buy a fast sports car, or start an affair with someone 20 years their junior.
But what it does mean is people are yearning after something they haven’t got … or something they feel they should have.
People in their late 30s and early 40s are the unhappiest in society, according to the Relate survey, which talked to more than 2,000 people about communication.
They were also the loneliest of any age group. One in five felt lonely all the time, or had suffered depression.
What we term a mid-life crisis involves complex factors and can be triggered when people think they’ve reached life’s halfway stage. Men in particular realise the truth that they are not young any more.
They feel anxious about what they have accomplished, either in their job or personal life, and weighing up what might happen next can cause a period of depression. They may mull over unresolved difficulties in the past, realise they won’t achieve all they had hoped for, and feel a sense of loss over missed opportunities.
There can be powerful emotional upheavals as people face up to what they see as diminished options for their future.
It’s easy to make light of insecurities and nagging doubts, as we presume every little cough could be the start of something terminal and that perhaps we should buy some boy toys like a massive Kawasaki, or take a course to become a helicopter pilot.
There is, however, a recognition that we might need to make a real change. In fact, psychologist Carl Jung wrote that the greatest potential for growth and self-realisation exists in the second half of life.
The health service acknowledges that what we label mid-life crisis is a controversial syndrome which experts think is related to the brain or to hormonal changes, and can be quite debilitating. It accepts that everyone’s circumstances are different.
There may only be a feeling of restlessness that comes out of the blue, or a feeling that everything is meaningless, despite having lots of positives to focus on.
There is sometimes the Reginald Perrin scenario, like the television character from the 1970s, where people try to destroy what they have built up in order to start again in a more contented and fulfilled existence, after goals and ambitions seem to fade away.
The first advice is to see your doctor and get some help before things get worse. If it’s depression, it can be triggered by a major life change, such as redundancy, divorce, separation, bereavement or long-term illness. There may even be no obvious reason.
People do deal with their “crises” in wildly varied ways. They may well buy that motorbike, or go down the route of plastic surgery. Others may leave their spouse as they look for a new beginning, while many are less dramatic and organise a weight loss or fitness routine.
Mental health charity Mind is very much focused on what can happen next.
Head of information Bridget O’Connell said: “If we can be honest about our painful and confusing feelings, mid-life can be a time for reassessment and reappraisal, a learning period providing the opportunity to change.
“We may become more interested in exploring parts of our psyche that we have lost touch with, develop a greater self-knowledge and sense of inner strength, and be less dependent on the approval of others.
“We may cultivate a greater interest in spiritual matters and express hidden skills and creativity. Many people also find that their relationships become deeper and more rewarding.”
The survey also looked into those relationships, and found one in three people in this age group felt shorter working hours would improve family relationships.
Relate’s Claire Tyler said: “Traditionally, we associate the mid-life crisis with people in their late 40s to 50s, but the report reveals that this period could be reaching people much earlier.
“It’s when life gets really hard – you’re starting a family, pressure at work can be immense and increasingly money worries can be crippling. We cannot afford to sit back and watch this happen. The ensuing effects of relationship breakdown on society are huge, so it’s really important that this age group has access to appropriate and relevant support, be that through friends and family or other methods, such as counselling.”
Carol Brady, from the Lincolnshire Partnership Foundation NHS Trust, which deals with mental health, says the so-called mid-life crisis of the thirty-somethings may, instead, be something else. Lincoln-based couples counsellor Denise Pickup agrees.
Carol said: “The concept of mid-life crisis is people making changes to their life.
“I don’t know whether people are experiencing the traditional mid-life crisis younger, but now, if people have not made it by their 30s or 40s, they may think they have failed.
“Mid-life crisis is still something that happens to people who are a little older, for instance when retirement is looming. Life events, such as being affected by bereavement, is not typically happening to people in their 30s.
“What’s different in their 30s or 40s is having a pressurised job and children. The Relate survey is picking up on the pressures people have at that age.
“Maybe it’s at that point when people realise they are not moving on as quickly as they feel they should be – maybe having a big mortgage and not much money – and that survey would be reflecting the economic situation at the time of the survey too.
“People can experience mental health problems at all times. Depression and loneliness has been identified in a group of people that you might not expect. But you get people feeling like that at all levels.
“Depression is highest in older people, when people are more likely to be living in poverty and be socially isolated.”
Denise Pickup said pinpointing the origins of what many people call a mid-life crisis was crucial towards managing it.
She also believes that more and more people in their 20s could now be described as “kidults”, as the lifestyle of adolescence extends into early adulthood, and people settle down later.
People used to have a job for life from the age of 17. Now many are not settling down until they are 30.
“They can be flung into high pressure,” she said. “We’re on our own a lot in modern life, too, what with online banking, and even self-serve petrol pumps. There was a lot more certainty in previous generations.
“Traditionally, mid-life crisis happens to men aged over 45. People in their 30s are getting very flaky, but it’s not a mid-life crisis. It’s a delayed adolescence, and if we can pinpoint the reason they were unable to flower as a teenager, this can be handled quite safely.
“We’re living in stressful times. It takes people longer to mature. A lot of people come to me saying they are having a mid-life crisis, but it’s usually a delayed adolescence.
“People don’t understand the stresses of society and so they are not sure how to cope.
“We used to look to our grandfathers for how to live their lives and now look to celebrities. But, although it seems they have it all, there is still often a burn-out after two or three years.”
She said more and more people were encouraged to chase their dreams. But often this would end in disappointment. Not everyone can win The X Factor or Britain’s Next Top Model.
A new report suggests that the age-old mid-life crisis is affecting people not in their late 40s and beyond – but more commonly between 35 and 44 years old.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that men will go out and buy a fast sports car, or start an affair with someone 20 years their junior.
But what it does mean is people are yearning after something they haven’t got … or something they feel they should have.
 | |
| Reggie Perrin suffered a mid-life crisis |
People in their late 30s and early 40s are the unhappiest in society, according to the Relate survey, which talked to more than 2,000 people about communication.
They were also the loneliest of any age group. One in five felt lonely all the time, or had suffered depression.
What we term a mid-life crisis involves complex factors and can be triggered when people think they’ve reached life’s halfway stage. Men in particular realise the truth that they are not young any more.
They feel anxious about what they have accomplished, either in their job or personal life, and weighing up what might happen next can cause a period of depression. They may mull over unresolved difficulties in the past, realise they won’t achieve all they had hoped for, and feel a sense of loss over missed opportunities.
There can be powerful emotional upheavals as people face up to what they see as diminished options for their future.
It’s easy to make light of insecurities and nagging doubts, as we presume every little cough could be the start of something terminal and that perhaps we should buy some boy toys like a massive Kawasaki, or take a course to become a helicopter pilot.
There is, however, a recognition that we might need to make a real change. In fact, psychologist Carl Jung wrote that the greatest potential for growth and self-realisation exists in the second half of life.
The health service acknowledges that what we label mid-life crisis is a controversial syndrome which experts think is related to the brain or to hormonal changes, and can be quite debilitating. It accepts that everyone’s circumstances are different.
There may only be a feeling of restlessness that comes out of the blue, or a feeling that everything is meaningless, despite having lots of positives to focus on.
There is sometimes the Reginald Perrin scenario, like the television character from the 1970s, where people try to destroy what they have built up in order to start again in a more contented and fulfilled existence, after goals and ambitions seem to fade away.
The first advice is to see your doctor and get some help before things get worse. If it’s depression, it can be triggered by a major life change, such as redundancy, divorce, separation, bereavement or long-term illness. There may even be no obvious reason.
People do deal with their “crises” in wildly varied ways. They may well buy that motorbike, or go down the route of plastic surgery. Others may leave their spouse as they look for a new beginning, while many are less dramatic and organise a weight loss or fitness routine.
Mental health charity Mind is very much focused on what can happen next.
Head of information Bridget O’Connell said: “If we can be honest about our painful and confusing feelings, mid-life can be a time for reassessment and reappraisal, a learning period providing the opportunity to change.
“We may become more interested in exploring parts of our psyche that we have lost touch with, develop a greater self-knowledge and sense of inner strength, and be less dependent on the approval of others.
“We may cultivate a greater interest in spiritual matters and express hidden skills and creativity. Many people also find that their relationships become deeper and more rewarding.”
The survey also looked into those relationships, and found one in three people in this age group felt shorter working hours would improve family relationships.
Relate’s Claire Tyler said: “Traditionally, we associate the mid-life crisis with people in their late 40s to 50s, but the report reveals that this period could be reaching people much earlier.
“It’s when life gets really hard – you’re starting a family, pressure at work can be immense and increasingly money worries can be crippling. We cannot afford to sit back and watch this happen. The ensuing effects of relationship breakdown on society are huge, so it’s really important that this age group has access to appropriate and relevant support, be that through friends and family or other methods, such as counselling.”
Carol Brady, from the Lincolnshire Partnership Foundation NHS Trust, which deals with mental health, says the so-called mid-life crisis of the thirty-somethings may, instead, be something else. Lincoln-based couples counsellor Denise Pickup agrees.
Carol said: “The concept of mid-life crisis is people making changes to their life.
“I don’t know whether people are experiencing the traditional mid-life crisis younger, but now, if people have not made it by their 30s or 40s, they may think they have failed.
“Mid-life crisis is still something that happens to people who are a little older, for instance when retirement is looming. Life events, such as being affected by bereavement, is not typically happening to people in their 30s.
“What’s different in their 30s or 40s is having a pressurised job and children. The Relate survey is picking up on the pressures people have at that age.
“Maybe it’s at that point when people realise they are not moving on as quickly as they feel they should be – maybe having a big mortgage and not much money – and that survey would be reflecting the economic situation at the time of the survey too.
“People can experience mental health problems at all times. Depression and loneliness has been identified in a group of people that you might not expect. But you get people feeling like that at all levels.
“Depression is highest in older people, when people are more likely to be living in poverty and be socially isolated.”
Denise Pickup said pinpointing the origins of what many people call a mid-life crisis was crucial towards managing it.
She also believes that more and more people in their 20s could now be described as “kidults”, as the lifestyle of adolescence extends into early adulthood, and people settle down later.
People used to have a job for life from the age of 17. Now many are not settling down until they are 30.
“They can be flung into high pressure,” she said. “We’re on our own a lot in modern life, too, what with online banking, and even self-serve petrol pumps. There was a lot more certainty in previous generations.
“Traditionally, mid-life crisis happens to men aged over 45. People in their 30s are getting very flaky, but it’s not a mid-life crisis. It’s a delayed adolescence, and if we can pinpoint the reason they were unable to flower as a teenager, this can be handled quite safely.
“We’re living in stressful times. It takes people longer to mature. A lot of people come to me saying they are having a mid-life crisis, but it’s usually a delayed adolescence.
“People don’t understand the stresses of society and so they are not sure how to cope.
“We used to look to our grandfathers for how to live their lives and now look to celebrities. But, although it seems they have it all, there is still often a burn-out after two or three years.”
She said more and more people were encouraged to chase their dreams. But often this would end in disappointment. Not everyone can win The X Factor or Britain’s Next Top Model.
- Reasses your life; plan for the future; identify the positives; assert yourself; be healthy – all good advice from mental health charity Mind:
- Look carefully at all the different areas of your life, to identify how you want to live in the future. Try to be realistic and honest with yourself.
- Consider all your important beliefs, such as your role in life, to see if they are still valid and fit in with what you want for the future.
- If you’ve had long-term difficulties in your relationship, now is the time to consider having counselling as a couple.
- See your mid-life crisis as a mid-life quest. It can be a time of opportunity to put aside past disappointments.
- View this as a time for moving forward, for developing your own sense of values, rather than conforming to expectations of others.
- Is there a long-term pattern in your life of fitting in with everyone else’s wants and needs, while neglecting yourself? Now is the time to change that.
- Talking about problems with a psychotherapist or a counsellor can help people make sense of confusing feelings.
- Mid-life lifestyle changes can prevent potential health problems: stopping smoking, cutting down alcohol and starting.
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