Author Wendy took on 'bad boy' persona for tale of art, sex and money

Chick-lit author Wendy Holden has hit on an unusual marketing ploy for her latest novel, Gallery Girl.

It's set in the "high-octane world of art, sex and money" – wonderful ingredients to transform into her latest page-turner.

Wendy made time to take on the persona of her bad-boy artist character and launched an art exhibition which opened in London for a single night earlier this week.

It showcased 12 contemporary artworks, with Wendy doing the creative work to help her get into the mindset of Zeb Spaw, the villain of Gallery Girl, which came out yesterday.

She's not without a track record for being artistic.

As well as being a journalist on The Sunday Times, Tatler and The Mail on Sunday before becoming a full-time author, she's also dabbled professionally at drawing and painting, and loves sculpture and galleries.

The spoof show, angry_with_britain, by Zeb/Wendy includes Fifteen Metres of Fame, his homage to Warhol, a 15m rope hung with pictures of celebrities mounted on cardboard (mostly from All Bran boxes).

There is also Tripetych, three panels featuring blown-up images of offal.

The exhibition is trailed as "spoof and a bit of fun", and Wendy's character is "angry".

"He's not so much an angry young man as an angry middle-aged man," she said.

"I had to get inside his angry mind and also those people surrounding him. There are so many satellites of people, dealers and those who surround him, like the owner of the gallery, patrons, a predatory female nymphomaniac collector…

"In the middle of this is my heroine. She doesn't particularly like the world she has been thrown into but has to get to know it more.

"What I'm always looking for is something behind the scenes of a glamorous world, and it's got to be funny.

"The very fact of being a glamorous person is inherently funny, because it's so difficult for them to keep their façade. There's a gap between what we see and what actually goes on.

"The world of contemporary art is so terribly po-faced, it's ripe for comedy.

"Contemporary art is a perfect subject, full of money and fame. There's so much potential humour."

It was when Wendy created the character of Zeb for Gallery Girl that she decided she wanted to do some of his awful work for herself. His masterpieces included spraying crisps gold and labelling them Golden Wonder, or making a Barbie doll's toilet gold and calling it Flash in the Pan.

"I really did enjoy writing it," she said. "I've gone further than ever before with a character, not just in creating him but realising some of his artwork too."

She'd already written about the film world and glossy magazines, all with those vital ingredients of money, power and people, often pretending they are something they're not.

Of course, in the narrative of Gallery Girl, Zeb lives up to the pretence, and learns that nailing a pair of pants to chipboard will get him more headlines and interest than the traditional styles. So that's the direction he goes off in. He is drawn as a very clever person who markets his own art.

Not a career path that Wendy, now 45, saw through. "When I first started out in the late 80s my first career was as a cartoonist for all sorts of people. I realised I probably wasn't going to make a career out of that and it fell by the wayside," she said.

But she's doing just fine without that particular string to her bow. Away from the fiction, she still writes for newspapers and magazines on social and lifestyle topics and you might catch her on the radio as a contributor to debates.

She's currently finishing a new book – as yet untitled – about a social climber, set in the south of France, and is tossing around a few ideas for her next.

Wendy, whose previous best-selling novels include Filthy Rich and Fame Fatale, lives in Two Dales near Matlock with husband, Jon McLeod, and their two children.

She's had success with nine novels so far, every one a top-ten bestseller.

Gallery Girl by Wendy Holden, published by Headline (Trade Paperback), £12.99.

Words by Patrick Astill, first published in the Derby Telegraph

Playing safe or falling prey to the nanny state?

How long is a piece of string?

More importantly, how long are those apron strings that you should keep the kids attached to during the summer holidays?

I had an unusually liberating experience recently. I sent my kids off on a nature trail – and out of sight for ten minutes – at an open day at a local attraction.

Normally this might set palpitations in motion, as they are only six and four. There were lots of strangers about, hundreds in fact.

And yet this time it felt right. It was on home ground, a venue they were comfortable with. No chance of them wandering off into the street. Just a circular trail within the confines of a big, noisy, friendly and busy family open day.

What WAS I thinking of? A walk alone to the end of our (long) street wouldn't normally be on the cards. But then that's a through route with lots of naughty drivers ready to draw up alongside and pounce. But only maybe.

So what are we really protecting them against?

When I was a lad we lived at the coast, and we were allowed out on our bikes for half a day at a time and our parents would expect us home when we got there, often late in the day, hungry and grubby. We could only have been nine or ten, but if a ten-year-old was left to fend for themselves for half a day with an eight-year-old sibling they would no doubt be castigated by the so-called liberal press for child neglect.

While aged 11, we were invited up into the quiet signal box at our remote village level crossing. Perhaps there was a greater trust of strangers in those days. He'd let us put coins on the line and then rush back to see how they'd been flattened after the excursion had rattled by. Today he would most probably be prosecuted.

What has changed in the intervening 30-odd years?

Even now, as parents ourselves, we take risks with the children. Who hasn't, for instance, left a sleeping baby in a locked car so as not to disturb them? After all, they're only outside the house, so what could go wrong?

You've got the pair of them in the bath, only three or four inches of water. The phone rings, you nip out to answer it.

But this is safety at home rather than an issue of freedom. Is the risk of letting them explore, perhaps fall on the rocks at the beach, or perhaps get stuck up a tree, the same kind of risk?

Is it more about letting them find themselves in the real world? Have an adventure? Are we guilty of being sucked into a 24-hour rolling news agenda of tragedy, disaster, child neglect and paedophilia?

So back to my original question. The answer, of course, is "How long is a piece of string?"

Reginald D Hunter, Just The Tonic

On the television he's an unassuming observational wit.

But as Reginald D Hunter puts it: "That's business, this is art!"

And as he said, people come in to gigs like this with "hope and expectation" after enjoying his telly routine, but leave with shattered dreams and crushed hope after seeing the stand-up.

Of course, that's just one of his gags. But it is material that would make anyone blush and there were a couple of uncomfortable moments, mostly because of the language he uses - which is clearly intended to shock.

Oddly, the two parts of his act which were best received were the old staple of women drivers, and his visual "bear with me" gag.

As this was an Edinburgh preview, it would be interesting to see which of the rest of the material he keeps in. For it was all good stuff as he instantly built a rapport with the crowd.

He covers a wide range. His supposed abusive (if traditional) deep south childhood, his love life, being single, race, politics are the main fodder.

Sipping on a constant stream of double vodkas from the bar, Reg drew us in with his warmth and personable charm. Even when the easy-going comedy is juxtaposed with his impressions of an Australian friend's very strong expletives, you can't fault Reg. And it's surprising how many expletives he claims not to have heard of before he came to Britain! He's been here 12 years now on the stand-up circuit so he's getting a good handle on his vocabulary.

Supporting act Nick Helm took a while to warm up. But his poetry and music hit the spot with the audience, which preferred that to his jokes. He left the stage after some community singing with the applause still ringing in his ears.

My life is flashing before me!

One thing about a potential career change is that it brings into sharp focus a lifetime spent in journalism.

And it’s the formative years that stick with you.

I remember the first war in Iraq, the Gulf War, when hundreds of casualties were expected among the allies trying to restore the world order in the Middle East following Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait.

In fact so many American troops were expected to die or be seriously injured that a contingency was set up at the former RAF hospital at Nocton Hall in Lincolnshire.

I was working for the Lincolnshire Echo at that time, and was fortunate enough to be sent along to find out what was happening there.

It had closed as an RAF facility in the 1980s and had been taken over by the USAF – and was in fact a little bit of the United States on British soil, much as an Embassy would be.

More than 1,300 US medical staff and Army reservists were sent to the area for the 1992 conflict, and I was treated to a tour of ward after ward of sterile beds, all set up under cellophane ready for the expected influx once battle commenced.

The sheer scale of the operation was incredible. From the giant big-bellied transport planes on the runway, to the armoured vehicles rolling around the site and the hundreds of staff being readied for what was expected to be a bloody conflict.

Lincolnshire’s rich RAF past helped the operation with many staff billeted at RAF stations dotted around the area, including Scampton, then home to the Red Arrows display team.

The war began in August 1990, in the middle of the night our time, after weeks of posturing and troops being made ready.

The tension was high and it was something of a relief when the order was finally given.

Moves by the Coalition forces to kick off Operation Desert Storm sent some 100,000 sorties, dropping 88,500 tons of bombs and destroying military and civilian infrastructure in a move which effectively won the war as soon as it had begun. No Iraq planes flew during the whole conflict, although 75 Allied planes were downed from anti-aircraft fire from the ground.

At the Echo we published an early edition about the hostilities and regular news updates in several daily editions, with what was a more forthcoming supply of copy compared with the time delay attached to the Falklands Conflict some ten years before.

And USAF Nocton Hall? It treated just 35 casualties.

Misery – Newark Palace Theatre

It cannot be easy to bring a well-known film to the stage and make it work so well.

On the big screen, the actors can shoot, re-shoot, use camera tricks and all kinds of devices to tell their story.

On the stage at Newark, Julie Fox and Matthew Hewitt get this Stephen King tale spot on and manage to make us smile and squirm in equal measure, as they make an easy connection with the audience.

They work well together to convey writer Paul Sheldon’s descent into hell when imprisoned by his “greatest fan” after a road accident.

As schizophrenic Annie takes control of “her” author at her isolated farmhouse, she realises she need to keep him there longer if he is to pen a personal sequel for her – and stops at nothing to keep him there. The scene where she breaks his ankles as a safeguard against his escape is particularly well handled, and sent a palpable shudder through the audience.

One gripe was the lengthy pauses used to denote the passage of time, where the theatre is plunged into darkness to the strains of an electric guitar lament. They could only have been ten or twenty seconds but each and every one would have been a more comfortable with just a few seconds less each time. Or maybe it was the ideal time-out to hammer home the agony of Paul Sheldon as he plots his shocking release.

And although it was only a small audience, the actors could surely have found time for a second curtain call so we could have shown our appreciation a little longer.

When it's all in the eye of the beholder...

With days at the office now potentially numbered, I'll miss the little gems of knowledge teased out during the working day.

We play the birthday quiz from time to time, and Judge Reinhold (Beverly Hills Cop IV etc) was on the list today.

"Isn't he the voice of Garfield?" says one.

"No that was Bill Murray."

Well I wouldn't know either way, as I never liked Garfield on television. But I did like the newspaper strip.

Of course, this kind of preference is in the eye of the beholder, and bringing a cartoon strip to life can kill off your own personal impression of how the characters interact with each other.

Fred Basset seemed to work for me. Not so much The Perishers. And Peanuts was always a joy.

For the record, it's Bill Murray in the Garfield film, while the TV series was voiced by Lorenzo Music.

"Mmmm... Lasagna."

The Sociable Plover - Newark Palace Theatre

Perfectionist twitcher Roy Tunt is ready to catch a rare species on film and tick another box on his list of British birds, the most important, which will complete his set and make him one of the elite.

This is the premise of The Sociable Plover (Vanellus gregarious and a wader in the lapwing family of birds, which is critically endangered).

Gnome collector, scoutmaster and with a broken marriage behind him, is Roy (Guy Masterson) a knowledgable perfectionist or a pedantic OCD-suffering nerd? The banality of his life is painful.

He is suddenly joined in the claustrophobic atmosphere of the hide by gruff, mysterious “Dave John”, wringing wet, and hungry, after not having eaten for three days. Dave (Ronnie Toms) says his brother has just died while serving in the RAF.

And although a slightly sinister presence after the square behaviour of Roy, the audience can easily warm to his Londoner's charm and attempts at conversation with his new-found friend.

The action, set in an L-shaped bird hide of around 12 square yards, veers from black comedy to taut thriller and unfolds to reveal a twist so unexpected that it would be unfair to reveal any more of the plot.

Suffice to say, the 100 or so who turned up at the Palace in Newark to witness it would have done well to bring a few more friends along to enjoy this perennial favourite.

Written and directed by Tim Whitnall, The Sociable Plover mimics Pinter's two handers to some extent but is less coded and readily accessible.

Torvill and Dean’s Dancing On Ice The Tour - Trent FM Arena

The ice dancers put absolutely everything into their performance in a rip-roaring extravaganza by the TV stars on tour in Nottingham.

And although there was only one real slip-up, the judges were predictably harsh, reminding us that they see the same routines night after night – and judge them according to improvement or worsening of their ice dancing.

Cheeky Andi Peters was our host, and got proceedings under way for what was a slightly subdued audience by this show’s standards.

Perhaps they’ve seen it all before. Indeed, Gaynor Faye, Chris Fountain, Ray Quinn and Clare Buckfield were competitors who had all previously graced the famous Nottingham ice in at least one previous tour. They were joined by newcomers Mikey Graham, Hayley Tamaddon, Emily Atack and Gary Lucy.

And of course we had the wonderful T&D. We love ‘em. Flashbulbs popping every time they set foot on the ice, and their eye-watering new Bolero routine saw our golden couple suspended from the rafters by purple silks. A standing ovation no less.

Of course, it was all a bit of fun and no reputations were made or lost.

It was clear on the night, however, that some were having more fun than others. Gaynor and Clare looked as though they were really enjoying themselves. Hayley seemed the most desperate to do well, while Chris was clearly way out in front on the night, and not only won the judges’ vote but carried off the trophy in the Bolero dance-off.

The first half of the show was the bit where the audience helped with the judging, having the chance to text their favourite after watching and hearing what the judges had to say. The panel comprised former Olympians Karen Barber and Nicky Slater, 2007 TV series winner Kyran Bracken, actor Christopher Biggins and Nottingham Post columnist and writer Erik Petersen.

We saw:
Mikey Graham – with professional dancer Melanie Lambert;
Gaynor Faye – with professional dancer Matt Evers;
Chris Fountain – with professional dancer Brianne Delacourt;
Ray Quinn – with professional dancer Alexandra Schauman;
Hayley Tamaddon – with professional dancer Dan Whiston;
Emily Atack – with professional dancer Fred Palascak;
Gary Lucy – with professional dancer Maria Filipov;
Clare Buckfield – with professional dancer Lukasz Rozycki.

When Harry Met Sally - Theatre Royal

Two solid performances from the leading actors endeared a packed Theatre Royal audience to them as they recreated this famous film for the stage.

Coronation Street's Rupert Hill (Jamie Baldwin) played opposite Sarah Jayne Dunn, (Mandy from Hollyoaks), as Harry and Sally, who met in New York when she needed her flat decorating - and were then thrown together again five years later, and another year down the line to begin their confusing relationship.

As we know, he's onto a winner with his disputed claim that a man and a woman cannot remain friends without romance getting in the way and we thus explore the possibilities...

Such was Rupert's command of the role that we could feel the women in the audience seething at his attitude and stance but, of course, they were sucked in and fell under his spell, as did Sarah. Despite also coming from soapland, she proved that these are actors of quality by matching her foil on stage.

Alas, there were too few men in the audience to judge her by their reaction, although the audience reaction as a whole was interesting for her most famous scene, spontaneously applauding as one at her, ahem, acting skills.

Compared with the Hollywood blockbuster, the simple set and straightforward scene changes helped focus on the narrative and let our imagination fill in the gaps.

Whether set in the park or the gym the cast truly made us believe, simply because the nature of their story is that we want to believe and identify with their situation.

A small but perfectly formed cast carried the story through to its inevitable conclusion - but we won't spoil the ending in case you get a chance to catch the show before the weekend.

Death of Nottingham's Alan Sillitoe

Nottingham-born author, the novelist Alan Sillitoe has died aged 82.

The writer, who became popular as one of the angry young men of British fiction, is hailed as one of the modern literary greats.

His novels included Saturday Night and Sunday Morning and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, made into a film starring Tom Courtenay.

I had the honour and pleasure of interviewing Mr Sillitoe for the Nottingham Evening Post in the 1990s.

Contrary to what I had been warned, he was by no means a 'difficult' subject and was, in fact, kind and helpful to me in my quest for a good story as a junior reporter.