So were you expecting Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Pluto? So were we - but they were merely the warm up act with this year's Disney on Ice going from strength to strength from beginning to end.
Despite being firm favourites they only set the scene for a series of superb set-pieces which proved much better than previous years' efforts.
And what's more there was something for everyone, with the vehicles from Cars sliding around the rink, an undersea adventure with Ariel, a Tink-tastic tale with everyone's favourite fairy - and then an amazing second half with all our favourites from Toy Story.
Each set tells a familiar story, so even if you weren't all that familiar with every nuance of the Disney stable, it's easy to follow what's going on!
Amazingly, the first story, from Cars, saw real vehicles slip-sliding around as they rescued Mickey's charabanc from a breakdown. Not many ice skates in evidence but a beautifully choreographed section with characters that look just like the real thing. I never knew that Lightning McQueen, Mater and the others were real, so it was an eye-opener for me!
Then came the first of the ice dancers - with the tale of Ariel looking for her Eric. Prince Eric? There's hope for us all in that case, isn't there? As we know only too well, Ursula's deal becomes Ariel's choice. But of course it all ends happily ever after.
Tinkerbell's changed a lot since those early days being a pugnacious rebel in Peter Pan. She's joined by a whole host of fairy friends who the little girls in the sold-out Arena all knew the names of before they introduced themselves. We got some 'real' flying to wow the crowds, and dozens of little 'uns out there were wishing they had wings, too. If your princess one loves the likes of Iridessa, Rosetta, Silvermist and Fawn, book your tickets now!
Oddly, the second half was just a single story but flew by.
It was, of course, a Toy Story. Toy Story 3 to be precise, the one where Andy says goodbye to his pals. But not before they've done some magnificent set-pieces, the most impressive being dozens of little green toy soldiers doing their moves on the ice. But there's Mr and Mrs Potato Head, Slinky, Barbie and Ken alongside Woody and Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the gang.
There's no expense spared with this show, and every character is perfectly crafted to transport you into the worlds of fantasy it promises across the ticket.
Sunday, November 20
Wednesday, August 10
Verity Rushworth in The Sound of Music
INFECTIOUS and addictive: half an hour after leaving the theatre you're guaranteed to be whistling a reprise of the Lonely Goatherd out loud – even if it does surprise the passengers on the bus home.
Direct from the West End, it says, and this realisation of a wonderful and timeless classic demonstrates how the legacy of Julie Andrews' film role is in very safe hands.
The tomboy nature of a lanky trainee nun who's unsure of her commitment to the abbey is expertly conveyed by Verity Rushworth. It's no wonder the Captain falls for her.
It's also easy to see why this Rodgers and Hammerstein musical attracts such a hardcore fan base. And while it's true you know what to expect because of the film, the stage version inevitably results in a truncation of the plot. But fear not. The reason you're going is for that music – Maria's subtle comic asides mean Verity scores an instant and natural connection with the audience. And we find that she sings too!
Reading in the lavish programme that Connie Fisher was taking the lead at some other theatres on the tour, it was something of a welcome revelation that with former Emmerdale girl Verity, we couldn't have wished for a better incarnation of Maria.
Alongside Keiron Crook as Captain Georg Von Trapp, the would-be lovers play off each other magnificently, despite the plot format making their marriage a very swift conclusion to their attraction.
The younger Von Trapp children were all spot on, winning the hearts of youngsters in the audiences, and generating a tear or two among their parents!
We all loved Claire Fishenden as the eldest von Trapp daughter Liesl, soon to realise womanhood. And Martin Callaghan's comic turn as Max Detweiler was also a winner, along with our Mother Abbess for Nottingham, Marilyn Hill Smith, who gave an exhilarating invitation to Climb Ev'ry Mountain to send the first half of the show out on a high. It's hard to resist singing along with all those bright, familiar tunes with, of course, Do-re-mi among the numerous highlights.
The house was packed for this first Saturday night of a three-week run. Judging by the whoops of approval at the curtain call, remaining seats will be selling like hot strudel.
Direct from the West End, it says, and this realisation of a wonderful and timeless classic demonstrates how the legacy of Julie Andrews' film role is in very safe hands.
The tomboy nature of a lanky trainee nun who's unsure of her commitment to the abbey is expertly conveyed by Verity Rushworth. It's no wonder the Captain falls for her.
It's also easy to see why this Rodgers and Hammerstein musical attracts such a hardcore fan base. And while it's true you know what to expect because of the film, the stage version inevitably results in a truncation of the plot. But fear not. The reason you're going is for that music – Maria's subtle comic asides mean Verity scores an instant and natural connection with the audience. And we find that she sings too!
Reading in the lavish programme that Connie Fisher was taking the lead at some other theatres on the tour, it was something of a welcome revelation that with former Emmerdale girl Verity, we couldn't have wished for a better incarnation of Maria.
Alongside Keiron Crook as Captain Georg Von Trapp, the would-be lovers play off each other magnificently, despite the plot format making their marriage a very swift conclusion to their attraction.
The younger Von Trapp children were all spot on, winning the hearts of youngsters in the audiences, and generating a tear or two among their parents!
We all loved Claire Fishenden as the eldest von Trapp daughter Liesl, soon to realise womanhood. And Martin Callaghan's comic turn as Max Detweiler was also a winner, along with our Mother Abbess for Nottingham, Marilyn Hill Smith, who gave an exhilarating invitation to Climb Ev'ry Mountain to send the first half of the show out on a high. It's hard to resist singing along with all those bright, familiar tunes with, of course, Do-re-mi among the numerous highlights.
The house was packed for this first Saturday night of a three-week run. Judging by the whoops of approval at the curtain call, remaining seats will be selling like hot strudel.
You To Me Are Everything: a slow burn!
For a man whose band’s big No1 was sandwiched between The Wurzels and Demis Roussos at the start of that long hot summer of 1976, Eddy Amoo is a very chipper man.
The Real Thing recorded You To Me Are Everything at the start of the year after it failed to excite record bosses in London – and it kick started a career that’s lasted until the present day.
The soul trio perform at the Theatre Royal this weekend as part of an idefinite programme of live shows and expect an energy-filled audience to set the party alight.
“Life doesn’t stop just because you don’t have hit records,” says Eddy.
“We continually recycle ourselves in that me and Chris are producers and writers, and over the years we have tweaked and changed the classic tunes so that they fit in today without losing the magic. We’re always writing new material for the show and we can still stand up there and be full of energy.”
So what does it feel like to be the architect of the hit that forms the soundtrack to so many people’s lives? Did the band feel something special was about to happen when they first heard their biggest hit back in ‘76?
“Abolutely not!” he said.
“It was hawked around everyone in London before it came to us. They all turned it down.
“We were just about to get the boot from our record company because we’d had a series of misses. Our record company thought it wasn’t a bad song at all, so they gave us a small budget to record it.
“It was very early in 1976 we recorded it and then forgot all about it. Three or four months later our manager came to us and told us it was selling 100 records a day.
“Then one day we got a telegram from our manager. He said get the band down to London tomorrow as it was one of the breakers [the fastest climbers in the top 50] and they wanted us on Top of The Pops.
“Everything went mad, it was magic.”
Yet the biggest year of hits for The Real Thing was actually in the following decade, when in 1986 they hit the charts with Straight to the Heart and sccessfully released remixes of You to Me Are Everything, Can't Get By Without You, and Can You Feel the Force?
And it’s their stying power that’s the secret.
“We’re the original members – we’re not a tribute band,” says Eddy, “which is what happens when you keep replacing people over the years.
“We built up an audience over two completely different timespans and have built on that.”
The Real Thing recorded You To Me Are Everything at the start of the year after it failed to excite record bosses in London – and it kick started a career that’s lasted until the present day.
The soul trio perform at the Theatre Royal this weekend as part of an idefinite programme of live shows and expect an energy-filled audience to set the party alight.
“Life doesn’t stop just because you don’t have hit records,” says Eddy.
“We continually recycle ourselves in that me and Chris are producers and writers, and over the years we have tweaked and changed the classic tunes so that they fit in today without losing the magic. We’re always writing new material for the show and we can still stand up there and be full of energy.”
So what does it feel like to be the architect of the hit that forms the soundtrack to so many people’s lives? Did the band feel something special was about to happen when they first heard their biggest hit back in ‘76?
“Abolutely not!” he said.
“It was hawked around everyone in London before it came to us. They all turned it down.
“We were just about to get the boot from our record company because we’d had a series of misses. Our record company thought it wasn’t a bad song at all, so they gave us a small budget to record it.
“It was very early in 1976 we recorded it and then forgot all about it. Three or four months later our manager came to us and told us it was selling 100 records a day.
“Then one day we got a telegram from our manager. He said get the band down to London tomorrow as it was one of the breakers [the fastest climbers in the top 50] and they wanted us on Top of The Pops.
“Everything went mad, it was magic.”
Yet the biggest year of hits for The Real Thing was actually in the following decade, when in 1986 they hit the charts with Straight to the Heart and sccessfully released remixes of You to Me Are Everything, Can't Get By Without You, and Can You Feel the Force?
And it’s their stying power that’s the secret.
“We’re the original members – we’re not a tribute band,” says Eddy, “which is what happens when you keep replacing people over the years.
“We built up an audience over two completely different timespans and have built on that.”
X-factor Jamie set to rock the racecourse
JAMIE 'Afro' Archer is the latest star to join the line-up of the first Rasen Rocks summer concert at Market Rasen Racecourse.
He’ll bring the band Archer to the races in a show that includes headline performer Aiden Grimshaw as well as Paije Richardson.
Already an accomplished performer, he wowed all four judges with his energetic rendition of Kings of Leon's 'Sex on Fire' in the first round of auditions for the hit ITV show.
He says we can expect to hear the “new sound” at the gig, something which might surprise a few fans.
Jamie told What’s On: “Some people might be expecting us to put out a Bon Jovi record. It couldn't be further from the truth.
“We've been looking for a new rock sound. It'll surprise some. There's a lot of depth to the music and lyrics.
“Be assured though, it's big, it's fun, it's loud it's singalong - been waiting a long time to be able to play these songs out. This is the real thing.
“The whole band will be there. This is what really excites me. I've done alot of shows in the past to backing CDs and the audience don't buy it.
“They want real quality live music. And that's what they get with this band. It's going to be a blast.“
Aside from preparing and rehearsing the live dates, Archer have also been in the studio, recording their latest tracks – but not necessarily an album, according to Jamie..
He said: “The current concept of albums and singles is outdated now. People just buy songs they like. We're more interested in releasing quality singles and EPs at the moment and the album will take care of itself.
“At the moment we're promoting the first single which is called 'insanity'. It sums up how anyone is feeling when they're on the edge. It's a big song. We'll be performing it at Market Rasen.
“Everyone in this operation has worked so hard to get us here because we all believe in this. We all just want to see some decent rock music back in the charts.
“The music is based in rock but has many different influences. Especially house music. It ranges from big, big singalongs to beautiful ballads. You get a balanced diet of music with us.”
He says life has changed somewhat since the X Factor experience – and it’s one he wouldn’t swap.
“Love it,” he said, ”Love being on the road meeting the fans. I still have to pinch myself sometimes when I think of the amazing opportunities the X Factor has given me.
“All I ever wanted was to release a song and have a fair chance of people hearing it and get a shot of getting some fresh rock music out there.”
And was he looking forward to an outdoor gig at the races?
“Of course we are. Last year I got seriously rained on. Fingers crossed the weather holds out.
“But in the true British way it did not dampen spirits. The crowd absolutely had it. I know the crowd won't disappoint.”
Thursday, June 30
Good Mourning Mrs Brown - 'divides opinion like Marmite'
by Patrick Astill
It really is no surprise that the TV show Mrs Brown's Boys divides opinion like Marmite. It certainly isn't one for the faint-hearted.
The programme has proved a surprise ratings hit for the BBC despite going down faster than the Titanic with the critics.
It's a traditional comedy staple in that the leading lady is Brendan O'Carroll in drag playing who is now – in the lamentable absence of Dame Edna Everage - the nation's favourite old dear.
But there the similarity ends. I saw the cultured, witty Aussie 25 years ago at the Theatre Royal when she was at the height of her powers, and I've now witnessed O'Carroll's foul-mouthed Dublin Mammy at the height of hers.
There's no doubting the show - and the performance - are a successful modern classic but its weakness, some might say its strength, lies in the toilet humour and toddler-level willy and wind gags.
Having said that, the stage version, Good Mourning Mrs Brown, quickly found its level with an adoring Concert Hall crowd and it's a sell-out for the whole run this week.
Every nuance, every thought, and much of the action is a well-sculpted joy as we share Mrs Brown's take on love, death and homosexuality.
This two-and-a-half-hour treat is an amalgamation of several plotlines from the television series, so in many ways there's nothing new – and some of the gags were prehistoric anyway.
Yet it's a warm and winning performance with a smile, a knowing glint in the eye and a well-practised cackle to get us all on-side.
Three main strands include grandad pretending to be dead so that he can find out what people really think of him, one daughter's love-life with a new boyfriend, and the son's efforts to ensure there's enough cash to put a deposit down on a new home for him and his pregnant wife.
It helps that O'Carroll surrounds himself with family and friends on stage as they all clearly relish the nightly challenge of getting through the show without giving in to too much laughter themselves, although it must be a struggle.
The comedy veteran clearly slips in many unexpected lines which work wonders with the audience and also have the cast in stitches.
A sample gag (and one of my favourites), is when the doctor says: "We'll need a sample of urine and a sample of his stools"; Grandad: "What did she say?"; Mrs Brown: "She wants your underpants!"
Perhaps the comparison should be less Edna Everage and more Les Dawson...
But it's a winning mix and one of the biggest cheers of the night was when O'Carroll promised at the curtain call that the cast would be back with the sequel – the second of a five-part trilogy.
Monday, May 16
'I think my days of glamorous dolly bird roles are over!'
A galaxy of stars from stage and television visited Lincoln’s Theatre Royal for the comedy drama, Five Blue Haired Ladies Sitting on a Green Park Bench.
The hilarious – and moving – story by John A Penzotti, concentrates on five wonderful women and is guaranteed to make you laugh ... and cry.
One of its big stars, popular actress Lorraine Chase, says she loves Lincoln and its theatre and is looking forward to her visit along with household names Shirley Anne Field, Anita Harris, Anne Charleston, Christopher Beeny, Frazer Hines and Tom Owen.
She said: “When the Campari adverts took off years ago I’d already been booked to do panto and had to come out of the West End and come to the little Lincoln Theatre, much to the chagrin of my co-star Kenneth Williams, who chastised me!
“That was for Chris Moreno, who ran the Lincoln theatre 33 years ago. I love that theatre and Chris too, who is one of the reasons this cast came together.
“One or two of the ladies had done the play before, and we have some lovely men including Chris Beeny and Fraser Hines, who’s also local to Lincoln.”
Lorraine has enjoyed 32 years in the business, with roles ranging from Dolly Clothespeg in Worzel Gummidge, to working with Roland Rat, having her own TV comedy series The Other Arf and later being a star of Lame Ducks, with John Duttine.
Her TV work in between a prolific stage career includes roles in Casualty, The Bill, Lock Stock and My Family.
More recently she had a prominent role in Emmerdale, playing the unpredictable Stephanie Stokes for six months. She ended up staying for four and a half years, leaving the soap in 2006.
“It’s a different form of acting,” she says.
“When you’re in a soap you can’t get into detail. You get your lines, learn them the night before, then you go in the next day and play it.
“I was just a working actor in a soap. I left because I didn’t want to become too entrenched. If you stay there 25 years, it’s retirement. You don’t have time to do other things. You don’t even have time for panto!”
She said actors have to strike a balance between regular money and living in one place with keeping fresh and moving forward.
“I lived in Yorkshire for four years and the people there were lovely, but my mum and dad – who aren’t getting any younger – and my friends live in London,” she revealed.
You may remember that working as a successful model, The Londoner came to fame in the acclaimed Campari TV commercials when her catchphrases “Nice Ere Innit” and “No, Luton Airport” became nationally quoted moving her on to celebrity status and her highly successful acting career.
But she says: “There’s some confusion now between celebrities and working actors. Once you get into acting you go into TV shows to tell people what you’re about to do.
“Now they make celebrity out of personal lives. If you’re a working actor in rep you’re not on television selling it because you’re at the theatre.”
Her new role in Five Blue Haired Ladies is “a nice little character”, contributing to the pathos and the laughs of the show, which focuses on the sixty-somethings’ well-lived lives and fears for the future.
“I think my days of glamorous dolly bird roles are over,” confides Lorraine, who qualifies for her bus pass later this year. “You have to go with your age, sadly – I’d be able to get into the clothes but it wouldn’t be a good look!”
Wednesday, May 4
Discovering the real Dan Clark
by Patrick Astill
Dan Clark is one of the country’s brightest comedy stars, best known for his portrayal of loveable rogue Don Danbury in the BBC3 hit sitcom How Not To Live Your Life.
He writes and produces the show, and you might also have seen him as Johnny Two Hats in The Mighty Boosh.
There’s a chance to see him in the flesh at the Drill Hall, when he visits Lincoln with his new stand-up tour.
And even though it’s a critically-acclaimed show, Dan’s under no illusions about his appeal.
“People are not coming in because of some stand-up,” he tells What’s On. “They are coming because of the television show.
“The audience is made up 95 per cent with fans of How Not To Live Your Life and they expect me to be a bit more like Don.
“We’re both quite similar, but I’m not quite as much of an idiot as Don is.
“He’s neurotic, self-effacing and lacks a huge amount of self-awareness.”
Dan – definitely not to be confused with his comic creation Don, then – is no stranger to live comedy, previously performing in the sketch group Electric Eel and then returning as a solo artist to Edinburgh in 2005 and 2006. In 2007 he went on to tour the UK, selling out around the country.
“I talk about being a victim of awkward situations,” he says of the latest show, which is in town on May 4.
“I look at the awkwardness of mistaking someone in a shop, or of being on public transport, or how we interact on dates.
“The difference is that Don is the cause of the awkwardness and he is unable to understand social etiquette. By the second half of the show they are warmed up and by then it’s a bit ruder, a bit edgier.
“Sometimes I have to elaborate on the truth – there are one or two situations where I have spotted the potential for something to happen. But some stories are 100 per cent true.
“I talk about relationships and about being on the internet all the time – the way we are addicted to checking messages, having about 20 different e-mail accounts and almost not living my life through being so social.”
He enjoys the success of the television series and has other projects in the pipeline.
Dan says: “It feels very much like a cult show, something that’s hidden, that people tell their friends about.
“Writing a sitcom on your own is a tall order, there is a part of me that asks what I want to do next? I wouldn’t want it to be in a corner of the BBC, I’d like it to reach a wider audience.”
After doing sketch comedy in his early 20s, acting and writing plays, he took the plunge to do stand-up in 2004.
He is now working on scripts in development for two television projects, so keep your eyes peeled to see what comes to fruition.
Dan Clark is one of the country’s brightest comedy stars, best known for his portrayal of loveable rogue Don Danbury in the BBC3 hit sitcom How Not To Live Your Life.
He writes and produces the show, and you might also have seen him as Johnny Two Hats in The Mighty Boosh.
There’s a chance to see him in the flesh at the Drill Hall, when he visits Lincoln with his new stand-up tour.
And even though it’s a critically-acclaimed show, Dan’s under no illusions about his appeal.
“People are not coming in because of some stand-up,” he tells What’s On. “They are coming because of the television show.
“The audience is made up 95 per cent with fans of How Not To Live Your Life and they expect me to be a bit more like Don.
“We’re both quite similar, but I’m not quite as much of an idiot as Don is.
“He’s neurotic, self-effacing and lacks a huge amount of self-awareness.”
Dan – definitely not to be confused with his comic creation Don, then – is no stranger to live comedy, previously performing in the sketch group Electric Eel and then returning as a solo artist to Edinburgh in 2005 and 2006. In 2007 he went on to tour the UK, selling out around the country.
“I talk about being a victim of awkward situations,” he says of the latest show, which is in town on May 4.
“I look at the awkwardness of mistaking someone in a shop, or of being on public transport, or how we interact on dates.
“The difference is that Don is the cause of the awkwardness and he is unable to understand social etiquette. By the second half of the show they are warmed up and by then it’s a bit ruder, a bit edgier.
“Sometimes I have to elaborate on the truth – there are one or two situations where I have spotted the potential for something to happen. But some stories are 100 per cent true.
“I talk about relationships and about being on the internet all the time – the way we are addicted to checking messages, having about 20 different e-mail accounts and almost not living my life through being so social.”
He enjoys the success of the television series and has other projects in the pipeline.
“Writing a sitcom on your own is a tall order, there is a part of me that asks what I want to do next? I wouldn’t want it to be in a corner of the BBC, I’d like it to reach a wider audience.”
After doing sketch comedy in his early 20s, acting and writing plays, he took the plunge to do stand-up in 2004.
He is now working on scripts in development for two television projects, so keep your eyes peeled to see what comes to fruition.
Monday, May 2
Dave sounds The Alarm against commercialism in music
Dave Sharp from The Alarm (68 Guns, Where Were You Hiding) is on the road, performing his own acoustic solo gigs around the UK.
He says the events rail against the commercial and engineered music that he feels is thrust upon the public.
“More people are saying they are fed up with it,” he said.
“It’s understandable that music doesn’t seem to be reaching out to people how it should be.
“There seems to be a growing appetite for a kind of music that has a human spirit to it, something that speaks on a human level to people.
“And it’s good that venues like the Jolly Brewer stick their neck out to promote music that will reach out to people.”
After The Alarm’s huge success in the 1980s, Dave spent a big part of the 90s in America, touring and making records.
In 1996, he recorded the album Downtown America, before returning to the UK in 2002 to record his third solo album, The Power of Soul, which re-introduced him to British audiences and earned him solo recognition across the UK with the critics.
Dave’s solo albums have received positive critical recognition on both sides of the Atlantic and over the past decade and a half he feels he has been fortunate to work alongside many of the artists he has long respected.
He’s worked with Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan and others in a period he says helped him “mature as an artist”.
His solo music has been described as everything from folk and blues to rock, country and punk.
And now, during breaks from the current tour, work in Manchester on his new album is progressing, with backing tracks complete.
His series of tour dates are designed to "challenge his electric guitar playing skills in a live format".
“I’m taking a break from recording at the moment and previewing new material,” he added.
“It’s really encouraging that up and down the country a lot of venues are starting to move away from the engineered media products.”
Dave recorded his first solo album, Hard Travellin' with record producer, Bob Johnston in 1991.
He is playing Lincoln and some other dates before embarking on another trip to Scotland - including his first appearance at brand new Glasgow alternative venue Pivo Pivo.
He says the events rail against the commercial and engineered music that he feels is thrust upon the public.
“More people are saying they are fed up with it,” he said.
“It’s understandable that music doesn’t seem to be reaching out to people how it should be.
“There seems to be a growing appetite for a kind of music that has a human spirit to it, something that speaks on a human level to people.
“And it’s good that venues like the Jolly Brewer stick their neck out to promote music that will reach out to people.”
After The Alarm’s huge success in the 1980s, Dave spent a big part of the 90s in America, touring and making records.
In 1996, he recorded the album Downtown America, before returning to the UK in 2002 to record his third solo album, The Power of Soul, which re-introduced him to British audiences and earned him solo recognition across the UK with the critics.
Dave’s solo albums have received positive critical recognition on both sides of the Atlantic and over the past decade and a half he feels he has been fortunate to work alongside many of the artists he has long respected.
He’s worked with Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan and others in a period he says helped him “mature as an artist”.
His solo music has been described as everything from folk and blues to rock, country and punk.
And now, during breaks from the current tour, work in Manchester on his new album is progressing, with backing tracks complete.
His series of tour dates are designed to "challenge his electric guitar playing skills in a live format".
“I’m taking a break from recording at the moment and previewing new material,” he added.
“It’s really encouraging that up and down the country a lot of venues are starting to move away from the engineered media products.”
Dave recorded his first solo album, Hard Travellin' with record producer, Bob Johnston in 1991.
He is playing Lincoln and some other dates before embarking on another trip to Scotland - including his first appearance at brand new Glasgow alternative venue Pivo Pivo.
Wednesday, April 27
Jon Gomm - catch him on YouTube, he doesn't mind!
Acoustic singer-songwriter Jon Gomm has been hailed as one of the world's “most gifted and inspirational” guitar players.
He actually laid hands on a guitar aged two, wrote his first song at six and went on to accompany his father to watch gigs in his home town of Blackpool.
Touring musicians would often stay at their family home, which meant he regularly enjoyed expert tuition from some of the greats.
Nowadays he has a cult following of his own.
If you can get along to his gigs you’ll see how he combines a deeply personal performances with his natural wit – and a characteristic two-handed guitar style!
Using just the one instrument, his technique brings drum beats, bass lines and sparkling melodies to the audience, all at the same time.
A master of the art, some of his musical creations are something never heard anywhere else.
He says: “I’ve got a cult following and I’m really well known among guitar players in particular – and there are a lot of people playing the guitar these days!
“It’s mostly down to the Internet now. There are lots and lots of videos of my work on YouTube that people have watched.
“I’ve got loads of friends and followers online and that’s how people find out about me now.”
Early on he turned down a place at Oxford University studying English to attend The Guitar Institute in London. He paid his way through college playing jazz in café-bars, recording as a session guitarist, and playing country music for line dancers.
Nowadays he spends much of the year on the road, touring Europe and playing at festivals from Rome to Athens.
And he loves the Jolly Brewer – where the atmosphere is “amazing”. He’s looking forward to their first outdoor gig of the season.
He says: “I play a few covers in my set and they are the ones people will remember and request.
“Once the album had been out a while all the requests I get at gigs are songs from that record. It’s quite humbling when people are shouting out for songs you’ve written yourself!”
Jon’s independent approach to the music industry means his albums are home recorded and released on the label he owns.
His presence on myspace and YouTube are key to his appeal, with his debut album Hypertension selling over 10,000 copies with no industry backing.
He’s not keen on putting songs online that aren’t produced and published for people to buy for themselves.
“Every gig I play gets filmed – and some of the quality is amazing,” says Jon.
“I really don’t mind. The reason people want to do it is because they want to help me. They are aware that the way people find out about me is by people telling each other. They realise they can tell thousands like this and their spreading the word
is really flattering.”
The brand new album, Don't Panic, sold out on Amazon within five days.
He actually laid hands on a guitar aged two, wrote his first song at six and went on to accompany his father to watch gigs in his home town of Blackpool.
Touring musicians would often stay at their family home, which meant he regularly enjoyed expert tuition from some of the greats.
Nowadays he has a cult following of his own.
If you can get along to his gigs you’ll see how he combines a deeply personal performances with his natural wit – and a characteristic two-handed guitar style!
Using just the one instrument, his technique brings drum beats, bass lines and sparkling melodies to the audience, all at the same time.
A master of the art, some of his musical creations are something never heard anywhere else.
He says: “I’ve got a cult following and I’m really well known among guitar players in particular – and there are a lot of people playing the guitar these days!
“It’s mostly down to the Internet now. There are lots and lots of videos of my work on YouTube that people have watched.
“I’ve got loads of friends and followers online and that’s how people find out about me now.”
Early on he turned down a place at Oxford University studying English to attend The Guitar Institute in London. He paid his way through college playing jazz in café-bars, recording as a session guitarist, and playing country music for line dancers.
Nowadays he spends much of the year on the road, touring Europe and playing at festivals from Rome to Athens.
And he loves the Jolly Brewer – where the atmosphere is “amazing”. He’s looking forward to their first outdoor gig of the season.
He says: “I play a few covers in my set and they are the ones people will remember and request.
“Once the album had been out a while all the requests I get at gigs are songs from that record. It’s quite humbling when people are shouting out for songs you’ve written yourself!”
Jon’s independent approach to the music industry means his albums are home recorded and released on the label he owns.
His presence on myspace and YouTube are key to his appeal, with his debut album Hypertension selling over 10,000 copies with no industry backing.
He’s not keen on putting songs online that aren’t produced and published for people to buy for themselves.
“Every gig I play gets filmed – and some of the quality is amazing,” says Jon.
“I really don’t mind. The reason people want to do it is because they want to help me. They are aware that the way people find out about me is by people telling each other. They realise they can tell thousands like this and their spreading the word
is really flattering.”
The brand new album, Don't Panic, sold out on Amazon within five days.
Tuesday, April 26
A right royal knees up for you?
by Patrick Astill
What will you be doing on the big day then?
Maybe a nice breakfast in bed, followed by an easy morning pottering around the house and then settling down for the greatest show on earth?
It’s plain that the great British public seems distinctly under-whelmed by the prospect of a royal wedding.
Even David Cameron did his bit this week with a rallying call for anyone who wants to have a street party.
“Go ahead, flout the regulations – get out there and enjoy!” he said. Or words to that effect.
I don’t know of any street parties around our way. One school is opening up on the Saturday for a big party for all the local children and it’s going to be very well attended.
And why not? There’s little else to celebrate as a nation at the moment.
We’re hardly likely to see a Nobby dancing around the edge of the Wembley pitch with a football World Cup any time soon. Gone are the days when I‘d welcome a general election result with champagne (it has been known, you know). And I can’t see Forest being promoted to the Premiership either.
So given a choice between being fashionably cool about the whole wedding thing, which is what I believe many people are striving for, or having a bit of a knees-up, even if it’s only in the back garden with the neighbours, I know which I‘d rather do.
I can still remember a clutch of royal weddings, a few royal babies and can even recall the fuss from when Diana was still working at the nursery and the rumours had started about her and Charles. It was the wedding of the decade and was watched by many more millions around the world than anyone could be bothered to count. I’ll stick my neck out and guess that interest is still out there.
OK, so I won’t be getting paid for my extra day off – but that’s all the more reason to enjoy it in my book, to take the “pain” away!
I can’t think of anyone, even among the ones who say they don’t care, who won’t want to sneak a look at Kate’s dress, or the Queen’s hat, even if it takes them a couple of days to peek in the Sunday papers.
If you’re one of those who say they can’t bear the royalist celebrations, I‘d bet that you’re in the minority.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
What will you be doing on the big day then?
Maybe a nice breakfast in bed, followed by an easy morning pottering around the house and then settling down for the greatest show on earth?
It’s plain that the great British public seems distinctly under-whelmed by the prospect of a royal wedding.
Even David Cameron did his bit this week with a rallying call for anyone who wants to have a street party.
“Go ahead, flout the regulations – get out there and enjoy!” he said. Or words to that effect.
I don’t know of any street parties around our way. One school is opening up on the Saturday for a big party for all the local children and it’s going to be very well attended.
And why not? There’s little else to celebrate as a nation at the moment.
We’re hardly likely to see a Nobby dancing around the edge of the Wembley pitch with a football World Cup any time soon. Gone are the days when I‘d welcome a general election result with champagne (it has been known, you know). And I can’t see Forest being promoted to the Premiership either.
So given a choice between being fashionably cool about the whole wedding thing, which is what I believe many people are striving for, or having a bit of a knees-up, even if it’s only in the back garden with the neighbours, I know which I‘d rather do.
I can still remember a clutch of royal weddings, a few royal babies and can even recall the fuss from when Diana was still working at the nursery and the rumours had started about her and Charles. It was the wedding of the decade and was watched by many more millions around the world than anyone could be bothered to count. I’ll stick my neck out and guess that interest is still out there.
OK, so I won’t be getting paid for my extra day off – but that’s all the more reason to enjoy it in my book, to take the “pain” away!
I can’t think of anyone, even among the ones who say they don’t care, who won’t want to sneak a look at Kate’s dress, or the Queen’s hat, even if it takes them a couple of days to peek in the Sunday papers.
If you’re one of those who say they can’t bear the royalist celebrations, I‘d bet that you’re in the minority.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Tony Christie on tour at 67!
by Patrick Astill
He's probably best known now for that hit charity video with Peter Kay miming to his music, but that’s only part of the story for Tony Christie.
Its seven weeks at number one serves as a reminder of Tony’s longevity.
Celebrating 50 years in the business, he’s done the lot.
He’s also woven his career in and out of the public eye, and only last year achieved a long-standing ambition to appear in a West End musical.
Lincoln audiences will get a chance to appreciate his full range when he steps on stage at the Theatre Royal.
His current wave of popularity started as far back as 12 years ago, when Jarvis Cocker sent him a new song with the same title as an old Christie album track, Walk Like A Panther.
Tony told What’s On: “Walk Like A Panther reached the top ten.
“I did all that and went back to Spain where I was living and the radio started to play it and it became a hit so I had to come back to do Top of the Pops.
“Then Peter Kay came completely out of the blue and that got me to move back to the UK.”
Tony saw Max and Paddy singing (Is This The Way To) Amarillo to some bemused Asian elders.
He said: “I nearly fell of my chair laughing. Then the phone started ringing…”
Three years after the Comic Relief hit, the critically-acclaimed Made In Sheffield was released, putting Tony well and truly in the public eye.
He said: I’d collaborated with Richard Hawley. I wanted to do Coles Corner, the song. I never realised that six years before he had written a song specially for me to record.
“He’d put it on his album. I heard it again while I was driving home one night and thought I’d quite fancy doing that song. He pointed out he’d already done that six years before.
“I contacted him to ask if he’d like to produce that track on the album but he said he wanted to record an album with myself doing purely music from Sheffield. Sheffield songs, Sheffield artists, Sheffield writers.
“It was obviously a fantastic idea because the result was a hit and also critically acclaimed.”
And Tony hasn’t looked back!
“I did a musical last year, and I’m trying to find time to write my autobiography this year.
“One of the boxes I hadn’t ticked was the West End musical. I did a run in Dreamboats and Petticoats and really enjoyed it.
“The year it was set was 1961, the year I started out in showbusiness!”
A new album of all new songs, Northern Soul, Philadelphia blues, is in the making, “quite an eclectic mix and a brilliant album” he says.
“It’s my 50th year in the business and that’s why I’m doing this tour.”
It’s a 50-date tour. So how does he keep young-looking and young-feeling?
Tony reveals: “By just constantly working. People say if you retire, you die. I always embark on a strict fitness regime. I stopped drinking alcohol – I did that two months ago and it’s not easy to start with, particularly as I go to so many functions. I do a lot of walking and I’m ready for ten weeks of hard work. I’m a workaholic because that kind of living keeps you young.
“I perhaps see myself differently in a mirror. I’m only 67, going on 68, although I feel 20 years younger than my body!”
He's probably best known now for that hit charity video with Peter Kay miming to his music, but that’s only part of the story for Tony Christie.
Its seven weeks at number one serves as a reminder of Tony’s longevity.
Celebrating 50 years in the business, he’s done the lot.
He’s also woven his career in and out of the public eye, and only last year achieved a long-standing ambition to appear in a West End musical.
Lincoln audiences will get a chance to appreciate his full range when he steps on stage at the Theatre Royal.
His current wave of popularity started as far back as 12 years ago, when Jarvis Cocker sent him a new song with the same title as an old Christie album track, Walk Like A Panther.
Tony told What’s On: “Walk Like A Panther reached the top ten.
“I did all that and went back to Spain where I was living and the radio started to play it and it became a hit so I had to come back to do Top of the Pops.
“Then Peter Kay came completely out of the blue and that got me to move back to the UK.”
Tony saw Max and Paddy singing (Is This The Way To) Amarillo to some bemused Asian elders.
He said: “I nearly fell of my chair laughing. Then the phone started ringing…”
Three years after the Comic Relief hit, the critically-acclaimed Made In Sheffield was released, putting Tony well and truly in the public eye.
He said: I’d collaborated with Richard Hawley. I wanted to do Coles Corner, the song. I never realised that six years before he had written a song specially for me to record.
“He’d put it on his album. I heard it again while I was driving home one night and thought I’d quite fancy doing that song. He pointed out he’d already done that six years before.
“I contacted him to ask if he’d like to produce that track on the album but he said he wanted to record an album with myself doing purely music from Sheffield. Sheffield songs, Sheffield artists, Sheffield writers.
“It was obviously a fantastic idea because the result was a hit and also critically acclaimed.”
And Tony hasn’t looked back!
“I did a musical last year, and I’m trying to find time to write my autobiography this year.
“One of the boxes I hadn’t ticked was the West End musical. I did a run in Dreamboats and Petticoats and really enjoyed it.
“The year it was set was 1961, the year I started out in showbusiness!”
A new album of all new songs, Northern Soul, Philadelphia blues, is in the making, “quite an eclectic mix and a brilliant album” he says.
“It’s my 50th year in the business and that’s why I’m doing this tour.”
It’s a 50-date tour. So how does he keep young-looking and young-feeling?
Tony reveals: “By just constantly working. People say if you retire, you die. I always embark on a strict fitness regime. I stopped drinking alcohol – I did that two months ago and it’s not easy to start with, particularly as I go to so many functions. I do a lot of walking and I’m ready for ten weeks of hard work. I’m a workaholic because that kind of living keeps you young.
“I perhaps see myself differently in a mirror. I’m only 67, going on 68, although I feel 20 years younger than my body!”
Friday, March 25
Jenny Eclair on growing old gracefully
Jenny Eclair has been an accomplished stand-up for more years than she’d care to remember.
She started out with a first gig at Manchester Poly, moved to London to seek her fortune and ended up being the first woman to win the coveted Perrier Award, scooping the accolade in her 13th appearance at the Edinburgh Festival.
Among her early TV work was Packet Of Three, which she wrote and acted in alongside Frank Skinner.
She’s come a long way and is back on the road with her tour Old Dog, New Tricks, which comes to Lincoln Performing Arts Centre on April Fool’s Day, appropriately enough.
Having seen Jenny’s show, I know there’s a lot of pacing up and down, so is there a lot of nervous energy inside?
“I prowl,” she says. “I’m basically working to burn off some calories. You play lots of different styles of theatres and you want to give everyone a go at seeing you.
“They will find a lot out about me, and they will find out a bit about themselves because they will recognise chunks of their lives. It’s about looking in the mirror
“There’s a real streak of teenage rebellion there for people that are still growing up. Everyone’s 17 at the core, they show off, fall over – all that kind of thing.
“But you have to acknowledge the passing of time. If I was still on stage standing there just being filthy it would be unbearable. And a little bleak.
“Your audience grows old with you. A lot of them are the same age as me. There’s definitely no one under 16, because its too traumatic for them.”
And yet tales of middle-age, true life and the facts of life prove a popular draw for the audiences, with many venues selling out.
“It’s a combination of experience, writing, and getting the right audience.
“Put me in front of the wrong audience and I’ll die on my arse on stage.
“Most people know what they are coming to see. I’m usually quite welcome on stage.
“But it’s a low-pressure tour, I’m going to some nice medium-sized theatres. There’s a huge amount of competition and everyone’s so skint.”
You’re as likely to see Jenny on Grumpy Old Women, This Morning or Loose Women as on the comedy circuit these days.
And away from touring and being on the box, she’s carved out a niche as a successful writer, both as a columnist and with a couple of novels. A third is on the way. Her theatre roles have included the Vagina Monologues and she was also in I’m A Celebrity, trapped in the jungle – a performance she admits “opened some doors”.
Finally, playing within the university campus, and with a daughter at uni, I checked if she’s a cool mum.
“She’s a bit too old to be impressed,” said Jenny. “I rarely get young and trendy people in. If there were, they’d be there with their mum for their mum’s birthday treat.”
She started out with a first gig at Manchester Poly, moved to London to seek her fortune and ended up being the first woman to win the coveted Perrier Award, scooping the accolade in her 13th appearance at the Edinburgh Festival.
Among her early TV work was Packet Of Three, which she wrote and acted in alongside Frank Skinner.
She’s come a long way and is back on the road with her tour Old Dog, New Tricks, which comes to Lincoln Performing Arts Centre on April Fool’s Day, appropriately enough.
Having seen Jenny’s show, I know there’s a lot of pacing up and down, so is there a lot of nervous energy inside?
“I prowl,” she says. “I’m basically working to burn off some calories. You play lots of different styles of theatres and you want to give everyone a go at seeing you.
“They will find a lot out about me, and they will find out a bit about themselves because they will recognise chunks of their lives. It’s about looking in the mirror
“There’s a real streak of teenage rebellion there for people that are still growing up. Everyone’s 17 at the core, they show off, fall over – all that kind of thing.
“But you have to acknowledge the passing of time. If I was still on stage standing there just being filthy it would be unbearable. And a little bleak.
“Your audience grows old with you. A lot of them are the same age as me. There’s definitely no one under 16, because its too traumatic for them.”
And yet tales of middle-age, true life and the facts of life prove a popular draw for the audiences, with many venues selling out.
“It’s a combination of experience, writing, and getting the right audience.
“Put me in front of the wrong audience and I’ll die on my arse on stage.
“Most people know what they are coming to see. I’m usually quite welcome on stage.
“But it’s a low-pressure tour, I’m going to some nice medium-sized theatres. There’s a huge amount of competition and everyone’s so skint.”
You’re as likely to see Jenny on Grumpy Old Women, This Morning or Loose Women as on the comedy circuit these days.
And away from touring and being on the box, she’s carved out a niche as a successful writer, both as a columnist and with a couple of novels. A third is on the way. Her theatre roles have included the Vagina Monologues and she was also in I’m A Celebrity, trapped in the jungle – a performance she admits “opened some doors”.
Finally, playing within the university campus, and with a daughter at uni, I checked if she’s a cool mum.
“She’s a bit too old to be impressed,” said Jenny. “I rarely get young and trendy people in. If there were, they’d be there with their mum for their mum’s birthday treat.”
Tuesday, March 22
The experience of a lifetime - priceless
Tickets for the London 2012 Olympic Games went on sale this week.
But will you be splashing out on the spectacular?
For one thing, you’ll need a Visa card to pay – as they won’t accept anything else online.
Secondly, the money will go out of your bank account before you know what you’ve been allocated, so if you’re trying to second-guess what might be popular and over-book as an insurance policy, it may and up being rather costly.
And if you get too many tickets, you can’t get a refund. You can sell them on in a specially-licensed website.
Getting there may be tricky – and if you want to stay over, the hotels are already getting booked up.
But it will be the experience of a lifetime and with so many tickets on sale for a choice of dates over more than two weeks – some events free and others from £20 – you’d be kicking yourself if you didn’t take a trip down the A1 for the experience.
Six million tickets went on sale with 500 days to go.
I feel as though I’d be doing my children a disservice if I didn’t at least try to get some.
They’d love to see Becky Adlington swim to gold, because their swimming teacher coached her when she was starting out. Or perhaps Lincolnshire Olympian Kate Haywood in the pool going for a gong in the breaststroke.
That would be between £50 and £450 per seat, depending on where you sit and the session runs from 7.30pm to 9.30pm.
The opening ceremony would be the memory of a lifetime, even if it really will be the austerity games, done on a budget.
We might be able to get some of the 2.5 million tickets which are on sale for the minimum £20.
But they’re probably for early morning shooting or fencing, or something that wouldn’t mean that much to the under-eights.
If we wanted to stay for the day that might involve three sessions though, with the later ones coming in at £70 or more. So we could be looking at about £500 for a day out, excluding travel, food and an overnight stay.
It is true that many of us are worried for our jobs nowadays but this WILL be the memory of a lifetime.
As the credit card that isn’t Visa would say: “Priceless”.
But will you be splashing out on the spectacular?
For one thing, you’ll need a Visa card to pay – as they won’t accept anything else online.
Secondly, the money will go out of your bank account before you know what you’ve been allocated, so if you’re trying to second-guess what might be popular and over-book as an insurance policy, it may and up being rather costly.
And if you get too many tickets, you can’t get a refund. You can sell them on in a specially-licensed website.
Getting there may be tricky – and if you want to stay over, the hotels are already getting booked up.
But it will be the experience of a lifetime and with so many tickets on sale for a choice of dates over more than two weeks – some events free and others from £20 – you’d be kicking yourself if you didn’t take a trip down the A1 for the experience.
Six million tickets went on sale with 500 days to go.
I feel as though I’d be doing my children a disservice if I didn’t at least try to get some.
They’d love to see Becky Adlington swim to gold, because their swimming teacher coached her when she was starting out. Or perhaps Lincolnshire Olympian Kate Haywood in the pool going for a gong in the breaststroke.
That would be between £50 and £450 per seat, depending on where you sit and the session runs from 7.30pm to 9.30pm.
The opening ceremony would be the memory of a lifetime, even if it really will be the austerity games, done on a budget.
We might be able to get some of the 2.5 million tickets which are on sale for the minimum £20.
But they’re probably for early morning shooting or fencing, or something that wouldn’t mean that much to the under-eights.
If we wanted to stay for the day that might involve three sessions though, with the later ones coming in at £70 or more. So we could be looking at about £500 for a day out, excluding travel, food and an overnight stay.
It is true that many of us are worried for our jobs nowadays but this WILL be the memory of a lifetime.
As the credit card that isn’t Visa would say: “Priceless”.
Five minutes with Graham Gouldman, 10cc
Art rock band 10cc visit The Embassy Centre in Skegness on Friday, March 25. Founder member Graham Gouldman spoke to Patrick Astill ...
Were you propelled to stardom with 10cc?
10cc just kind of evolved. We were like the house band at the studio, working on different projects.
When the studio wasn’t working we wrote and performed together. We recorded a B side, Donna, and that was that!
I have Deceptive Bends and Bloody Tourists at home – do you have a favourite project?
The most pleasurable album for me was Sheet Music. I’m particularly proud of Deceptive Bends, though.
It was the first that Eric [Stewart] and I did after Kevin [Godley] and Lol [Creme] left the band. We kept the name on and there was expectancy. Half the team had left.
So did you fear for the future after the departure of Godley and Creme?
There was no fear for the future. It was more whether we had the right to keep the name. We had something to prove.
People know you best from the 1970s. Do you feel as though you are trapped in time?
There’s no point in looking back. We want to create something different.
At the beginning you have your influences, then you hear things and you want to bring those styles into your work. I don’t think anyone cares about persona with 10cc. People care about the music.
That’s held us in good stead.
How easy is it to work with the band you’ve got touring? A couple of them have been with you for many years now.
People should have the best, if it’s possible. Paul Burgess has been with us since 1973 and Rick Fenn since 1976, so it has not been thrown together just for the tour.
Mike Stevens, who’s on keyboards, is the musical director for Take That and as soon as our British tour is finished, he’s going to get into that.
Mick Wilson is a fantastic singer and multi-tasks. People always say we’re a fantastic unit.
You started off your career as a writer in the 1960s, penning hits for the Yardbirds, the Hollies, Herman’s Hermits and Jeff Beck. What work have you got on after the tour?
There’s still writing. I’m working on a solo album as various other projects, some of which will reach fruition and some won’t. There’s pleasure in the attempt, and that’s always good.
Were you propelled to stardom with 10cc?
10cc just kind of evolved. We were like the house band at the studio, working on different projects.
When the studio wasn’t working we wrote and performed together. We recorded a B side, Donna, and that was that!
I have Deceptive Bends and Bloody Tourists at home – do you have a favourite project?
The most pleasurable album for me was Sheet Music. I’m particularly proud of Deceptive Bends, though.
It was the first that Eric [Stewart] and I did after Kevin [Godley] and Lol [Creme] left the band. We kept the name on and there was expectancy. Half the team had left.
So did you fear for the future after the departure of Godley and Creme?
There was no fear for the future. It was more whether we had the right to keep the name. We had something to prove.
People know you best from the 1970s. Do you feel as though you are trapped in time?
There’s no point in looking back. We want to create something different.
At the beginning you have your influences, then you hear things and you want to bring those styles into your work. I don’t think anyone cares about persona with 10cc. People care about the music.
That’s held us in good stead.
How easy is it to work with the band you’ve got touring? A couple of them have been with you for many years now.
People should have the best, if it’s possible. Paul Burgess has been with us since 1973 and Rick Fenn since 1976, so it has not been thrown together just for the tour.
Mike Stevens, who’s on keyboards, is the musical director for Take That and as soon as our British tour is finished, he’s going to get into that.
Mick Wilson is a fantastic singer and multi-tasks. People always say we’re a fantastic unit.
You started off your career as a writer in the 1960s, penning hits for the Yardbirds, the Hollies, Herman’s Hermits and Jeff Beck. What work have you got on after the tour?
There’s still writing. I’m working on a solo album as various other projects, some of which will reach fruition and some won’t. There’s pleasure in the attempt, and that’s always good.
Wednesday, March 2
Angelos Epithemiou. Nuff said.
Ex-burger van owner Angelos Epithemiou is part-way through a national tour, on the back of his role as scorekeeper on TV’s Shooting Stars.
Patrick Astill caught up with him on the road …
Q: You were driving when I rang. Have you parked up the van?
A:I’ve parked up the van. No, the van’s gone! That’s all gone, that’s out of the window; that part of my life is no more. My van was blown up by mysterious forces.
Q: Is that what forced you into doing the tour? Or are you doing that of your own volition?
A:I’m not doing the tour of my own volition. I’ve been told to do it by the big-wigs, the money men, and very possibly the Government is involved somewhere down the line. I don’t want to be in it. I’d rather be at home watching my collection of Crimewatch videos with a Magnum.
Q: The show’s title suggests you’re on tour with your friends.
A:That’s correct. But although I talk about Ian, Kenny, Mrs Swallow and Tinned Tomatoes, there aren’t actually any friends on stage with me.
Q: What’s the best and worst thing about being on tour?
A:The worst thing about it is that I have to do it. The best thing is that I can go home every night afterwards.
I’ve done half of it but now I’m having a break. Which is very good.
I get to go all over the country in a nice motor.
We’re going up to Preston and Sheffield in the next few weeks. As high as that.
Q: You’ll need a break after all that. Where do you go on holiday?
A:This year I’m going to lovely Neasden. Have you heard of Neasden?
The shopping is very good there and they have loads of pound shops. I just want to spend some quality “me-time”
Q: Have you kept in touch with any celebrities after being on Shooting Stars?
A:I have spent a lot of time with the Hairy Bikers recently, talking about hair and bikes. I cook stuff for them. I say: “Just try this.” Then I get out a box of Findus burgers. They take one bite and say something. But I don’t know what it means, I’m finding their accents hard.
Q: And what about Ulrika? Do you manage to see anything of her?
A: I see a lot of her! ’Cause I stand outside her bedroom window. I see her all the time. I’m getting closer – last week I stood outside her kitchen window. It’s only a matter of time before she asks me to go in.
Q: What are your immediate plans for the future?
A:After this I’m going to go down Londis and have a look for food that’s just going off. You can get it cheap.
Then I’ll bung on Crimewatch.
Q: Some of my friends see you as a problem-solver. They asked if you had any advice for life.
A:If you find yourself in France, don’t panic – just lie down on the floor and curl up in a ball and assistance WILL arrive.
Q: Angelos, what’s in the bag?
A: A lump of meat in case I get hungry, one of those miniature skinhead men (an Action Man) and a gun. It’s a toy gun.
Patrick Astill caught up with him on the road …
Q: You were driving when I rang. Have you parked up the van?
A:I’ve parked up the van. No, the van’s gone! That’s all gone, that’s out of the window; that part of my life is no more. My van was blown up by mysterious forces.
Q: Is that what forced you into doing the tour? Or are you doing that of your own volition?
A:I’m not doing the tour of my own volition. I’ve been told to do it by the big-wigs, the money men, and very possibly the Government is involved somewhere down the line. I don’t want to be in it. I’d rather be at home watching my collection of Crimewatch videos with a Magnum.
Q: The show’s title suggests you’re on tour with your friends.
A:That’s correct. But although I talk about Ian, Kenny, Mrs Swallow and Tinned Tomatoes, there aren’t actually any friends on stage with me.
Q: What’s the best and worst thing about being on tour?
A:The worst thing about it is that I have to do it. The best thing is that I can go home every night afterwards.
I’ve done half of it but now I’m having a break. Which is very good.
I get to go all over the country in a nice motor.
We’re going up to Preston and Sheffield in the next few weeks. As high as that.
Q: You’ll need a break after all that. Where do you go on holiday?
A:This year I’m going to lovely Neasden. Have you heard of Neasden?
The shopping is very good there and they have loads of pound shops. I just want to spend some quality “me-time”
Q: Have you kept in touch with any celebrities after being on Shooting Stars?
A:I have spent a lot of time with the Hairy Bikers recently, talking about hair and bikes. I cook stuff for them. I say: “Just try this.” Then I get out a box of Findus burgers. They take one bite and say something. But I don’t know what it means, I’m finding their accents hard.
Q: And what about Ulrika? Do you manage to see anything of her?
A: I see a lot of her! ’Cause I stand outside her bedroom window. I see her all the time. I’m getting closer – last week I stood outside her kitchen window. It’s only a matter of time before she asks me to go in.
Q: What are your immediate plans for the future?
A:After this I’m going to go down Londis and have a look for food that’s just going off. You can get it cheap.
Then I’ll bung on Crimewatch.
Q: Some of my friends see you as a problem-solver. They asked if you had any advice for life.
A:If you find yourself in France, don’t panic – just lie down on the floor and curl up in a ball and assistance WILL arrive.
Q: Angelos, what’s in the bag?
A: A lump of meat in case I get hungry, one of those miniature skinhead men (an Action Man) and a gun. It’s a toy gun.
Monday, February 28
The Mark Steel Solution
Lover of sport, keen observer of politics - and someone who has an insatiable interest in people and places: that’s Mark Steel.
When I spoke to him in advance of his Lincoln gig, he’d just been “prostituting” himself listening to England losing in the 20/20 cricket, and I interrupted his enjoyment of the post-match analysis.
As he stirred his morning cuppa, he explained how the idea of his new show is that as more and more places are made to look identical, each town becomes the same, with identical retail parks and call centres.
And yet he believes that every town has something – and even if the place is “a dump” he is moved by the fact the people there have things they feel proud of.
“It’s our little thing, almost a rebellion against the corporate world,” he said, ”and that’s what the show is about.
“As a stand-up, you look for something in a place that can only happen there. I was in Penzance when I heard they thought this town up the coast called St Ives was a bit posh. So I asked the audience at the show and a woman called out ‘yes they are – they have their own dentist!’”
Mark is obviously a man passionate to communicate his own ideas and experiences, and covers a lot of ground on the tour.
“I do remember coming to Lincoln before.” he recalls. “People are surprised by its prettiness aren’t they?
“I remember going into the library or museum there. I went in ten minutes before it was shutting because it was next to the theatre. The man came over to me and said ‘get out, what time do you think it is, coming in here?’
“I’m an expert on Boston. I spent some time there once and became quite fond of it.
“It’s so incredibly flat there. It’s marvellously flat. I remember doing a joke about Boston applying to become the Winter Olympic venue, with the toboggan team coming home in three-and-a- half weeks. They must all go to Lincoln to look at that hill. You’re almost sideways on there aren’t you?”
He confided that he would be sending off for information and would be reading all about Lincoln, just in case things have changed since he was last in town.
I was duty-bound to inquire about his views on the coalition and the economy, given his outspoken opinions on the last government.
“Don’t ask me about that. It makes it sound like I‘m going to stand up and do an analysis on oil prospects. I can’t stand them and I wish they’d all go away.
“It’s not a by-election that will force them to go away, but when more people realise there’s injustice with social services and libraries closing when others are giving themselves £8 million, and that’s just in bonuses ...
“I’m just writing the tour at the moment, which is much harder than touring – when I’ve just got to turn up and do it. I’m writing a bit of stuff about each town. And there are about 45 in all. I’ll do about five in a row – you wouldn’t want to do any more than that or you’d go a little mad.”
He is also planning another series of Mark Steel’s In Town, with a whole lot of new places.
But returning to the subject of sport – and the 20/20 cricket in particular, he confessed he was really a fan of the full-blown game, usually played over five days rather than a couple of hours. But yet he still watches.
He said: “I feel a little thrill, but I feel it’s like going to a prostitute. I got a little tingle now and again, when one of them hit a six or something.
“I suggested that ITV should commission a series in which there’s a cricketing detective and every week he’s just fielding and goes off to the boundary and finds a dead body and spends the rest of the day solving the crime.
“It would be ‘the vicar said he would be fielding at cover last week, but that can’t be the case’.”
When I spoke to him in advance of his Lincoln gig, he’d just been “prostituting” himself listening to England losing in the 20/20 cricket, and I interrupted his enjoyment of the post-match analysis.
As he stirred his morning cuppa, he explained how the idea of his new show is that as more and more places are made to look identical, each town becomes the same, with identical retail parks and call centres.
And yet he believes that every town has something – and even if the place is “a dump” he is moved by the fact the people there have things they feel proud of.
“It’s our little thing, almost a rebellion against the corporate world,” he said, ”and that’s what the show is about.
“As a stand-up, you look for something in a place that can only happen there. I was in Penzance when I heard they thought this town up the coast called St Ives was a bit posh. So I asked the audience at the show and a woman called out ‘yes they are – they have their own dentist!’”
Mark is obviously a man passionate to communicate his own ideas and experiences, and covers a lot of ground on the tour.
“I do remember coming to Lincoln before.” he recalls. “People are surprised by its prettiness aren’t they?
“I remember going into the library or museum there. I went in ten minutes before it was shutting because it was next to the theatre. The man came over to me and said ‘get out, what time do you think it is, coming in here?’
“I’m an expert on Boston. I spent some time there once and became quite fond of it.
“It’s so incredibly flat there. It’s marvellously flat. I remember doing a joke about Boston applying to become the Winter Olympic venue, with the toboggan team coming home in three-and-a- half weeks. They must all go to Lincoln to look at that hill. You’re almost sideways on there aren’t you?”
He confided that he would be sending off for information and would be reading all about Lincoln, just in case things have changed since he was last in town.
I was duty-bound to inquire about his views on the coalition and the economy, given his outspoken opinions on the last government.
“Don’t ask me about that. It makes it sound like I‘m going to stand up and do an analysis on oil prospects. I can’t stand them and I wish they’d all go away.
“It’s not a by-election that will force them to go away, but when more people realise there’s injustice with social services and libraries closing when others are giving themselves £8 million, and that’s just in bonuses ...
“I’m just writing the tour at the moment, which is much harder than touring – when I’ve just got to turn up and do it. I’m writing a bit of stuff about each town. And there are about 45 in all. I’ll do about five in a row – you wouldn’t want to do any more than that or you’d go a little mad.”
He is also planning another series of Mark Steel’s In Town, with a whole lot of new places.
But returning to the subject of sport – and the 20/20 cricket in particular, he confessed he was really a fan of the full-blown game, usually played over five days rather than a couple of hours. But yet he still watches.
He said: “I feel a little thrill, but I feel it’s like going to a prostitute. I got a little tingle now and again, when one of them hit a six or something.
“I suggested that ITV should commission a series in which there’s a cricketing detective and every week he’s just fielding and goes off to the boundary and finds a dead body and spends the rest of the day solving the crime.
“It would be ‘the vicar said he would be fielding at cover last week, but that can’t be the case’.”
Live: John Shuttleworth
It might have been the right time for Sheffield’s finest synthesiser entertainer John Shuttleworth to instruct the nation in moral matters.
But instead, thanks to his agent Ken Worthington’s mistyping, his tour is now A Man with No More Rolls.
But as the man responsible for bringing his character to the stage, Graham Fellows, reveals, Shuttleworth is more than happy to wax lyrical on the new title.
“John is very happy to go along with that as he sees the roll as being threatened by Italian flatbreads, crusty cobs and new paninis and ciabbattas,” says Graham, ahead of his Drill Hall gig.
“It’s not about the plot, it’s about the details of his life. He’s concerned about the things that really matter to him, such as whether crab paste is being affected by our love for pesto and being hidden behind it on the supermarket shelves.
“It’s a piece of theatre, an illusion. We’re laughing at John but with him too. The audience can see themselves and people they know in John. We’re all a little like that really – emptying the bin is important.
“John talks about the cafetiere because he thought the plunger was to keep the coffee warm. You only make that mistake once so he threw is out and went back to Mellow Birds.”
John is also a composer and musician, as listeners of his radio shows will know only too well.
Smells Like White Spirit (with a nod to Nirvana), advises on how best to clean your paint brushes, while the ballad How’s Your Nan? is in praise of naan bread while also touching on caring for elderly members of the community.
Graham, who lives in Lincolnshire, admitted he was a little surprised at Shuttleworth’s longevity, although his success had allowed his creator to live in “wonderful Louth”, only returning to the south for work appointments before retreating back into a Lincolnshire life.
And he loved the fact his creation is a character, which enabled him to live a normal life away from work, going virtually unnoticed.
“I enjoy that,” he says. “I had a few months being recognised when I was Jilted John.
“I don’t like being noticed: much of my creative work is with observing people and it stops you doing that.”
He is famous for hitting the charts in the late 70s as Jilted John, with the No4 hit single Jilted John.
Listening to his records, it is clear that Graham is a fan of telling it how it is - both through the lyrics of Shuttleworth and those of his one-hit wonder.
“Here’s a throughline there in that I always like to capture the way that people sound, “ he says.
“Going Steady [the B side to Jilted John] is very basic and told in the vernacular. It still irks me that lyrics are still so unrealistic. Even punk didn’t really break new ground with realistic lyrics.”
But instead, thanks to his agent Ken Worthington’s mistyping, his tour is now A Man with No More Rolls.
But as the man responsible for bringing his character to the stage, Graham Fellows, reveals, Shuttleworth is more than happy to wax lyrical on the new title.
“John is very happy to go along with that as he sees the roll as being threatened by Italian flatbreads, crusty cobs and new paninis and ciabbattas,” says Graham, ahead of his Drill Hall gig.
“It’s not about the plot, it’s about the details of his life. He’s concerned about the things that really matter to him, such as whether crab paste is being affected by our love for pesto and being hidden behind it on the supermarket shelves.
“It’s a piece of theatre, an illusion. We’re laughing at John but with him too. The audience can see themselves and people they know in John. We’re all a little like that really – emptying the bin is important.
“John talks about the cafetiere because he thought the plunger was to keep the coffee warm. You only make that mistake once so he threw is out and went back to Mellow Birds.”
John is also a composer and musician, as listeners of his radio shows will know only too well.
Smells Like White Spirit (with a nod to Nirvana), advises on how best to clean your paint brushes, while the ballad How’s Your Nan? is in praise of naan bread while also touching on caring for elderly members of the community.
Graham, who lives in Lincolnshire, admitted he was a little surprised at Shuttleworth’s longevity, although his success had allowed his creator to live in “wonderful Louth”, only returning to the south for work appointments before retreating back into a Lincolnshire life.
And he loved the fact his creation is a character, which enabled him to live a normal life away from work, going virtually unnoticed.
“I enjoy that,” he says. “I had a few months being recognised when I was Jilted John.
“I don’t like being noticed: much of my creative work is with observing people and it stops you doing that.”
He is famous for hitting the charts in the late 70s as Jilted John, with the No4 hit single Jilted John.
Listening to his records, it is clear that Graham is a fan of telling it how it is - both through the lyrics of Shuttleworth and those of his one-hit wonder.
“Here’s a throughline there in that I always like to capture the way that people sound, “ he says.
“Going Steady [the B side to Jilted John] is very basic and told in the vernacular. It still irks me that lyrics are still so unrealistic. Even punk didn’t really break new ground with realistic lyrics.”
Sunday, February 27
Steve Harley on musicians, touring and self-confidence
He was the man who urged us to come up and see him sometime in the 70s, and he’s rocking Newark next week.
Steve Harley talks to Patrick Astill about professional musicians and self-confidence.
The Steve Harley tour promises an intimate and atmospheric performance, so there’s probably no better venue than the plush surroundings of Newark Palace Theatre.
He’s fresh from a massive tour with full entourage this time last year, a clutch of festivals and some television work, and he’s ready stay on the road a little longer.
Steve told What’s On: “This is a big acoustic tour. Touring is my life blood – it’s a great life.
“My karma would be severely crushed if I thought I could not have an audience. I’ve never stopped working. There’s a great feeling out there.”
Best known for his Cockney Rebel days, with Make Me Smile, Mr Soft, Judy Teen and Mr Raffles, the new raft of gigs showcases some of his old favourites together with some of his new writing.
Stranger Comes to Town was the new album, out last year.
“The album has nine new tracks and a cover,” he says. “I write all the time but it doesn’t get easier as you get older.”
“The contradiction is that there’s more to talk about but it’s harder to put it down as a tune – and what if no on wants to hear about it?
“You can lose a bit of self-confidence.”
But he’s supported by some talented musicians who take their profession seriously. They have to – it’s their living.
Steve says: “All the guys around me are of a certain age and have decided they are professional musicians.
“A lot of people are into music in their 20s when they leave university.
“They start a rock band and then fall by the wayside, finding it’s not going to be easy and it might be a struggle. They’ve got to get out and get back to normality.
“This is what I’ve been doing since I was 21. They guys around me are virtuosos who will play either with or without me.”
As for the style of the music, compared with what we know best, Steve admits he “paints a broad canvas”.
“It rocks on – I’m not a folky. It’s a pretty big featured set, we go and play for the first 25 minutes without stopping! But there are some intimate moments too.
“People will get what they put into it at a concert, I’m, very relaxed on stage, it’s my second home. It’s a three-man acoustic set, ‘a closer look’.
“The audience is a bit of a mix after 30-odd years. You do get some people who were fans in their 20s, then drop out to raise their families, then when their families are older they get more chilled and starting going again.
“They find that we’re still playing. We spent New Year’s Eve at Holmfirth, then in January we were in Oslo to sing three songs for their national television with a symphony orchestra!”
Tuesday, February 15
Be big in society
How can you or I make a real difference these days?
With less than half of the electorate turning out to the last by-election, the ballot box might not always be the right answer, writes Patrick Astill.
What really grabs attention seems to be the ubiquitous Facebook “fan” group, or a page online declaring support for your cause or a request to the authorities.
There’s also somewhere on the internet where you can start a petition to state your case directly to the Government, although for some that’s rather too formal.
Online campaigns make it very easy for people to show their support. They can attract passers-by or “box-tickers” who want to make a public statement, but would rather not be too directly associated with a cause.
One website, for example, gopetition.com, regularly achieves success. A Save Our Museums at Stamford and Grantham Petition won support from 346 people, all of whom signed online.
The recent surge of the message-sending system Twitter has also changed the way people think and act, by encouraging the authorities to bow to pressure.
Some causes become popular because of a bandwagon effect.
But making a big difference to a wider-ranging issue such as fuel prices or the new VAT rate is a tougher nut to crack. The rolling road blocks by hauliers in 2000 made precious little difference to the price at the pumps, which has since soared from 77p then to £1.29 now – more than a fiver a gallon.
So when do the great British public get listened to?
I know people who have nominated a relative for new year honour from the Queen. And it worked. Someone in that department takes notice.
And those who wish to make a real difference closer to home can volunteer. Yes, it involves time and energy, but it’s the opportunity to make a real difference – sometimes much more than through the ballot box or writing to the council to complain.
Become a trustee of a museum and shape its future. Be a school governor and appoint the teachers you want to give local children the very best start. Or join the board of your local hospice to help make the lives of the sick much better. It’s “big society”, but it can give you a big say.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
With less than half of the electorate turning out to the last by-election, the ballot box might not always be the right answer, writes Patrick Astill.
What really grabs attention seems to be the ubiquitous Facebook “fan” group, or a page online declaring support for your cause or a request to the authorities.
There’s also somewhere on the internet where you can start a petition to state your case directly to the Government, although for some that’s rather too formal.
Online campaigns make it very easy for people to show their support. They can attract passers-by or “box-tickers” who want to make a public statement, but would rather not be too directly associated with a cause.
One website, for example, gopetition.com, regularly achieves success. A Save Our Museums at Stamford and Grantham Petition won support from 346 people, all of whom signed online.
The recent surge of the message-sending system Twitter has also changed the way people think and act, by encouraging the authorities to bow to pressure.
Some causes become popular because of a bandwagon effect.
But making a big difference to a wider-ranging issue such as fuel prices or the new VAT rate is a tougher nut to crack. The rolling road blocks by hauliers in 2000 made precious little difference to the price at the pumps, which has since soared from 77p then to £1.29 now – more than a fiver a gallon.
So when do the great British public get listened to?
I know people who have nominated a relative for new year honour from the Queen. And it worked. Someone in that department takes notice.
And those who wish to make a real difference closer to home can volunteer. Yes, it involves time and energy, but it’s the opportunity to make a real difference – sometimes much more than through the ballot box or writing to the council to complain.
Become a trustee of a museum and shape its future. Be a school governor and appoint the teachers you want to give local children the very best start. Or join the board of your local hospice to help make the lives of the sick much better. It’s “big society”, but it can give you a big say.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis, Nottingham Playhouse
By Patrick Astill
"Famous Grouse? What did he do?"
The triumphant reprise of Punt and Dennis's World of Wine sketch from the 90s provided a perfect end to the evening, if a little untypical compared with what went before.
Steve Punt and "TV's Hugh Dennis" were at the Playhouse and back in Nottingham for the first time in four years.
This show packed them in for an absolute sell-out. And it was clear to see why.
Intelligent (if sometimes obvious) humour, running gags, a nod to their past and cultural and political observations ran through from start to finish.
They even suggested they might be still relevant in this day and age because the country was run by a double act.
Their set was based on the nuances of consumer surveys, the pair returning to the theme every now and again by gauging opinions from the audience or using the crowd to reinforce their point.
A request for us all to laugh like pirates got the desired response, and the pair tell us we've not been reading the papers or we'd know that most pirates were now Somali.
We're low on fuel and a sign tells us there's petrol at one mile and 23 miles… which do we go for? You get the picture.
A knock at Newark, a nod to the rivalry with Derby, both socially and with the football, helped settle the duo into an evening in Nottingham.
Formerly of The Mary Whitehouse Experience and well known for radio's Now Show, the pair work off each other brilliantly.
Steve's constant chatter, building the argument and setting the scene to ease in Hugh's knockabout and less than subtle antics. And yet when the roles were reversed their comedy achieved the same result.
Dog and Trumpet? Make sure you catch them soon – it'll all make sense.
"Famous Grouse? What did he do?"
The triumphant reprise of Punt and Dennis's World of Wine sketch from the 90s provided a perfect end to the evening, if a little untypical compared with what went before.
Steve Punt and "TV's Hugh Dennis" were at the Playhouse and back in Nottingham for the first time in four years.
This show packed them in for an absolute sell-out. And it was clear to see why.
Intelligent (if sometimes obvious) humour, running gags, a nod to their past and cultural and political observations ran through from start to finish.
They even suggested they might be still relevant in this day and age because the country was run by a double act.
Their set was based on the nuances of consumer surveys, the pair returning to the theme every now and again by gauging opinions from the audience or using the crowd to reinforce their point.
A request for us all to laugh like pirates got the desired response, and the pair tell us we've not been reading the papers or we'd know that most pirates were now Somali.
We're low on fuel and a sign tells us there's petrol at one mile and 23 miles… which do we go for? You get the picture.
A knock at Newark, a nod to the rivalry with Derby, both socially and with the football, helped settle the duo into an evening in Nottingham.
Formerly of The Mary Whitehouse Experience and well known for radio's Now Show, the pair work off each other brilliantly.
Steve's constant chatter, building the argument and setting the scene to ease in Hugh's knockabout and less than subtle antics. And yet when the roles were reversed their comedy achieved the same result.
Dog and Trumpet? Make sure you catch them soon – it'll all make sense.
Monday, February 14
Celebrate Love Your Own Way
I’ve been persuaded to write about Valentine’s Day. It’s today, in case it’s passing you by.
That’s not likely to have been the case, though, with every high street store (perhaps with the exception of shoe shops), urging you to spend money there to commemorate the first century life of an early Christian martyr.
As I understand it, he was somehow linked with romance about 1,400 years later, and the tradition has stuck.
As always, for people already in a relationship it poses a quandary as ancient as the dusty old saint himself.
Think about it. Is your relationship so tired that a 99p card from the market and a box of chocs or some bubbly supermarket cava will ignite the affections of your true love?
Conversely, is your passion measured by the amount of cash you hand over at the checkout?
Is £50 for a bunch of red roses not quite as love-filled as a £100 meal for two and a bouquet? Or would a £5 Sainsbury’s arrangement of miniature roses in a pot be a cheapskate cop-out?
Does a card reassuring your wife of 20 years that you still love her (and always did) quite hit the spot?
I’d suggest there’s additional pressure on relationships from such mandatory hearts-and-flowers romance.
Even a well-thought-out romantic surprise isn’t really a surprise when it has to be administered on February 14.
And what about those who don’t have a Valentine love this year?
Once you’re out of school, it’s a minefield. The excitement and trepidation of who might fancy you and if you’ll fancy them back again has long since passed.
Sending an anonymous card to a work colleague might even be called into question as harassment in these difficult times.
My advice? For what it’s worth, if you’re single and want to avoid public life on Monday evening, settle down at home with a good film and some choccies of your own.
If you’re in a relationship, declare your personal Valentine’s Day on a different date altogether and do it your way, not the way Hollywood – or Clinton Cards – tell you to.
At least you’ll be able to get into that swish restaurant you couldn’t get a reservation for on the 14th.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
That’s not likely to have been the case, though, with every high street store (perhaps with the exception of shoe shops), urging you to spend money there to commemorate the first century life of an early Christian martyr.
As I understand it, he was somehow linked with romance about 1,400 years later, and the tradition has stuck.
As always, for people already in a relationship it poses a quandary as ancient as the dusty old saint himself.
Think about it. Is your relationship so tired that a 99p card from the market and a box of chocs or some bubbly supermarket cava will ignite the affections of your true love?
Conversely, is your passion measured by the amount of cash you hand over at the checkout?
Is £50 for a bunch of red roses not quite as love-filled as a £100 meal for two and a bouquet? Or would a £5 Sainsbury’s arrangement of miniature roses in a pot be a cheapskate cop-out?
Does a card reassuring your wife of 20 years that you still love her (and always did) quite hit the spot?
I’d suggest there’s additional pressure on relationships from such mandatory hearts-and-flowers romance.
Even a well-thought-out romantic surprise isn’t really a surprise when it has to be administered on February 14.
And what about those who don’t have a Valentine love this year?
Once you’re out of school, it’s a minefield. The excitement and trepidation of who might fancy you and if you’ll fancy them back again has long since passed.
Sending an anonymous card to a work colleague might even be called into question as harassment in these difficult times.
My advice? For what it’s worth, if you’re single and want to avoid public life on Monday evening, settle down at home with a good film and some choccies of your own.
If you’re in a relationship, declare your personal Valentine’s Day on a different date altogether and do it your way, not the way Hollywood – or Clinton Cards – tell you to.
At least you’ll be able to get into that swish restaurant you couldn’t get a reservation for on the 14th.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Sunday, February 13
When will we see you again?
Best known for their hits in the 1970s, The Three Degrees are a group whose music is instantly recognisable.
Their biggest international hit, When Will I See You Again, from 1974, is just one of many highs for the American trio.
The Runner, My Simple Heart, Giving Up Giving In, Take Good Care Of Yourself and Woman In Love were all high charters in the UK.
And they are in the Guinness Book Of Records, too, as the longest-running female trio. The current line-up boasts Valerie Holiday, with 40 years’ service, Helen Scott, who’s been with them for 35 years, and newcomer Freddi Poole.
They come to Lincoln Theatre Royal on Tuesday, but it’s not their first royal date.
Valerie told What’s On: “We performed at Buckingham Palace for Prince Charles’s 30th birthday. And then we went back because they invited us to be guests for him and Diana before their wedding.”
It’s quite a journey for the farm girl from Jacksonville, Georgia.
But she says: “It’s been a beautiful journey. Our fame in the 1970s was chaotic but exciting. We’d worked all over the US and had not been out of the country.
“We started international tours and it was fantastic because you get the opportunity to see all the things you’d only read about before.
“I still genuinely love what I do. I like the feedback from the audience and still travel extensively.
“We did a tour in Japan at the end of November and started off again this year in San Francisco and have been touring since then.”
She admitted that although touring was second nature, and “something you get used to over the years”, one of the most important things was to get a proper amount of rest.
“My diet is the other thing that suffers, but my stomach tells me when I’m neglecting it,” she says.
The group was formed in 1963 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and although always a trio, there have been a number of personnel changes and 12 ladies have been among the vocalists over the years.
Eighteen albums and more than 50 singles later, their Lincoln show is your chance to hear the very best of their repertoire.
You will see Freddi Poole on her first tour after joining late last year when Cynthia Garrison had to stand down after 20 years of recording and touring due to persistent ill health. The girls knew Freddi from her work with the Former Ladies Of The Supremes – and Valerie was delighted when she agreed to join.
As for adding to the discography after their dance single Holding Back last year, the trio are still deciding on the best way forward.
Their biggest international hit, When Will I See You Again, from 1974, is just one of many highs for the American trio.
The Runner, My Simple Heart, Giving Up Giving In, Take Good Care Of Yourself and Woman In Love were all high charters in the UK.
And they are in the Guinness Book Of Records, too, as the longest-running female trio. The current line-up boasts Valerie Holiday, with 40 years’ service, Helen Scott, who’s been with them for 35 years, and newcomer Freddi Poole.
They come to Lincoln Theatre Royal on Tuesday, but it’s not their first royal date.
Valerie told What’s On: “We performed at Buckingham Palace for Prince Charles’s 30th birthday. And then we went back because they invited us to be guests for him and Diana before their wedding.”
It’s quite a journey for the farm girl from Jacksonville, Georgia.
But she says: “It’s been a beautiful journey. Our fame in the 1970s was chaotic but exciting. We’d worked all over the US and had not been out of the country.
“We started international tours and it was fantastic because you get the opportunity to see all the things you’d only read about before.
“I still genuinely love what I do. I like the feedback from the audience and still travel extensively.
“We did a tour in Japan at the end of November and started off again this year in San Francisco and have been touring since then.”
She admitted that although touring was second nature, and “something you get used to over the years”, one of the most important things was to get a proper amount of rest.
“My diet is the other thing that suffers, but my stomach tells me when I’m neglecting it,” she says.
The group was formed in 1963 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and although always a trio, there have been a number of personnel changes and 12 ladies have been among the vocalists over the years.
Eighteen albums and more than 50 singles later, their Lincoln show is your chance to hear the very best of their repertoire.
You will see Freddi Poole on her first tour after joining late last year when Cynthia Garrison had to stand down after 20 years of recording and touring due to persistent ill health. The girls knew Freddi from her work with the Former Ladies Of The Supremes – and Valerie was delighted when she agreed to join.
As for adding to the discography after their dance single Holding Back last year, the trio are still deciding on the best way forward.
Thursday, January 20
Football legend’s journey from pitch to dancefloor
He served under legendary managers
Brian Clough and Sir Bobby Robson and
won a record 125 caps for England.
And now the evergreen Peter Shilton will
take to the stage at Lincoln Drill Hall next
week to recall some key moments from
his incredible career.
Starting out at Leicester City as a
teenager in the 1960s, he’s probably
best remembered for his time in the
Midlands, with spells at Derby County,
Stoke City and, of course, Nottingham
Forest – with whom he won the European
Cup in successive years.
His name means something to every
age group of football fans and there are
now his recent appearances on TV’s
Strictly Come Dancing to chat about.
Away from the domestic football scene,
he travelled to three World Cup finals and
was involved in many of England’s
dramatic – and memorable – matches
from 20 years serving his country
between the posts.
You’ll most likely hear about lows such
as the infamous Hand Of God incident
with Diego Maradona, and highs like
England’s achievements at Italia ’90.
Expect some behind-the-scenes secrets
to be revealed, some personal memories
of footballing greats and Peter’s
knowledgeable take on football today.
Understandably coy about his material
for the Lincoln show, he did promise Echo
readers there would be something for
everyone when he visits the Drill Hall on
Wednesday.
He said: “I like to do a mix of serious
topical points about football today, but
there are a lot of fun topics, too.
“I played right through from the 1960s
to the mid-90s so there’s a lot to reflect
on. There are a lot of funny stories about
things that happen on and off the pitch.
“There will be something for all
Midlands fans. I was pleased and proud
to play for all the clubs I played for.
“And I’m sure there will be a few ladies
in the audience asking about Strictly. You
go into it to enjoy it and do well. I enjoyed
it a lot but, it was a really high standard
this year.”
Topics might take in the England cap
situation with David Beckham,
modern-day goalkeeping and the state of
the England international team.
Pushed a little on whether there’s a
clear-cut England No.1, he said: “We’ll
have to wait and see what I’ll say about
that on the night. I’m always being asked
about goalkeeping in general and it’s
something I’ll touch on.”
Expect more of Peter in the pipeline –
with further TV work and after-dinner
speaking dates lined up, he’s set for a
busy year.
Brian Clough and Sir Bobby Robson and
won a record 125 caps for England.
And now the evergreen Peter Shilton will
take to the stage at Lincoln Drill Hall next
week to recall some key moments from
his incredible career.
Starting out at Leicester City as a
teenager in the 1960s, he’s probably
best remembered for his time in the
Midlands, with spells at Derby County,
Stoke City and, of course, Nottingham
Forest – with whom he won the European
Cup in successive years.
His name means something to every
age group of football fans and there are
now his recent appearances on TV’s
Strictly Come Dancing to chat about.
Away from the domestic football scene,
he travelled to three World Cup finals and
was involved in many of England’s
dramatic – and memorable – matches
from 20 years serving his country
between the posts.
You’ll most likely hear about lows such
as the infamous Hand Of God incident
with Diego Maradona, and highs like
England’s achievements at Italia ’90.
Expect some behind-the-scenes secrets
to be revealed, some personal memories
of footballing greats and Peter’s
knowledgeable take on football today.
Understandably coy about his material
for the Lincoln show, he did promise Echo
readers there would be something for
everyone when he visits the Drill Hall on
Wednesday.
He said: “I like to do a mix of serious
topical points about football today, but
there are a lot of fun topics, too.
“I played right through from the 1960s
to the mid-90s so there’s a lot to reflect
on. There are a lot of funny stories about
things that happen on and off the pitch.
“There will be something for all
Midlands fans. I was pleased and proud
to play for all the clubs I played for.
“And I’m sure there will be a few ladies
in the audience asking about Strictly. You
go into it to enjoy it and do well. I enjoyed
it a lot but, it was a really high standard
this year.”
Topics might take in the England cap
situation with David Beckham,
modern-day goalkeeping and the state of
the England international team.
Pushed a little on whether there’s a
clear-cut England No.1, he said: “We’ll
have to wait and see what I’ll say about
that on the night. I’m always being asked
about goalkeeping in general and it’s
something I’ll touch on.”
Expect more of Peter in the pipeline –
with further TV work and after-dinner
speaking dates lined up, he’s set for a
busy year.
The alarm bells are ringing
You may have picked up on the news last week that a glitch on the iPhone caused problems after the alarm device failed to wake people at the pre-ordained time, writes Patrick Astill.
But do we really need an alarm any more? Is it just because our sleep patterns are so irregular that we need shaking out of bed in the morning?
I’m not so sure. I tend to wake up at the same time each day whether it’s due to an alarm or not, and when I switch it off at the weekend I’m wide awake the very second it was due to go off. Not an ideal scenario when I feel like I need a lie-in.
So is the actual time itself important? Hardly anyone sits down to watch television when the programme starts these days. Sky+ and other methods mean you can park yourself on the sofa late and watch it from the start ten minutes later than you should have done. Or even the next day.
Granted, you need to be on time if you’re catching a train. It is better to be half an hour early than half a second late, as my grandad used to say.
Public clocks are seldom anywhere near the right time, in fact most are probably only correct twice a day.
People start work when they like – there are fewer factories and production lines that need to start up all at the same time, and clocking in or out is a rarity. As long as you do your hours, they can be done at work, at home, or even on the train you jumped on (in the nick of time).
Perhaps that’s a good thing, as workers are then driven by tasks and results rather than clockwatching.
Even at school we are taught that when the bell goes, it’s a signal for the teacher, not the class.
And even the ubiquitous wristwatch may be on the way out. Isn’t it really just a piece of jewellery nowadays, an age when everyone seems to check their mobile phones to see what time it is?
A survey in 2009 even suggested that more than half of us wake up to a mobile phone rather than an alarm clock.
There’s a lot to be said for that – you can programme them with the dulcet tones of birdsong or classical music to avoid a jarring jolt back into consciousness.
That’s if you choose to use such a tool. And if you do, make sure it’s working properly – unlike the iPhone.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
But do we really need an alarm any more? Is it just because our sleep patterns are so irregular that we need shaking out of bed in the morning?
I’m not so sure. I tend to wake up at the same time each day whether it’s due to an alarm or not, and when I switch it off at the weekend I’m wide awake the very second it was due to go off. Not an ideal scenario when I feel like I need a lie-in.
So is the actual time itself important? Hardly anyone sits down to watch television when the programme starts these days. Sky+ and other methods mean you can park yourself on the sofa late and watch it from the start ten minutes later than you should have done. Or even the next day.
Granted, you need to be on time if you’re catching a train. It is better to be half an hour early than half a second late, as my grandad used to say.
Public clocks are seldom anywhere near the right time, in fact most are probably only correct twice a day.
People start work when they like – there are fewer factories and production lines that need to start up all at the same time, and clocking in or out is a rarity. As long as you do your hours, they can be done at work, at home, or even on the train you jumped on (in the nick of time).
Perhaps that’s a good thing, as workers are then driven by tasks and results rather than clockwatching.
Even at school we are taught that when the bell goes, it’s a signal for the teacher, not the class.
And even the ubiquitous wristwatch may be on the way out. Isn’t it really just a piece of jewellery nowadays, an age when everyone seems to check their mobile phones to see what time it is?
A survey in 2009 even suggested that more than half of us wake up to a mobile phone rather than an alarm clock.
There’s a lot to be said for that – you can programme them with the dulcet tones of birdsong or classical music to avoid a jarring jolt back into consciousness.
That’s if you choose to use such a tool. And if you do, make sure it’s working properly – unlike the iPhone.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Wednesday, January 19
Ichthyotherapy
by Patrick Astill
Ichthyotherapy is a word to conjour with.
It’s the latest buzz-word in the world of pedicure, where you let your feet swim with the fish.
You’ve probably seen the publicity – salons setting up right, left and centre to offer fish therapy.
The scaly creatures don’t sit down and listen to your troubles … rather they nibble away at them, via your feet.
Stick your feet in a bowl of Garra Rufa fish, which originated in Turkey, and they will nibble away at your dry and dead skin, and probably tickle a bit, too.
The service is offered in Lincoln at the Kensington Salon on Rasen Lane and the new Ticklfish unit in Waterside – and fortunately the little fish have no teeth!
Their busy nibbling can also be used to ease the pain of those suffering from conditions such as eczema and psoriasis.
Both businesses also offer other services, such as teeth whitening and eyebrow waxing at the Kensington, and massages and hot stone therapy at the Waterside.
I had a 30-minute “dip” at Ticklfish.
Their watchword is putting priority on foot health. Before I even let the fish see your toes, my therapist Janine Heaton took a close look at my feet to make sure there are no wounds or illnesses. You wouldn’t wasn’t to follow someone who was suffering a verruca, would you?
After a quick footbath on warm water, I was asked to lower your feet gently into the tank, which contains about 150 of the little workers.
The first overwhelming feeling is the realisation that the fish are eyeing up their latest tasty treat. As your feet get closer to the water’s surface, they congregate as though someone has just thrown a cupful of food into the tank.
And then they’re off! And it IS a tickle. One or two will launch themselves at you while the rest go about their business, nibbling away at dry skin while you wriggle.
The tickling soon gives way to a pins and needles type of sensation, as the fishy biotherapists nibble away to give a result similar to acupuncture or reflexology.
They stimulate the points that regulate your nervous system, releasing a therapeutic enzyme and stimulating the growth of new skin cells.
I couldn’t resist looking down and watching them at work for the whole session. It’s oddly hypnotic but it’s great to see where they concentrate on.
As the therapist asks you to stretch out your toes, the fish charge in between them to give that area a good tidy up too.
And yes, after a minty foot massage from Maxine Jones afterwards, I did feel as though I was walking on air back to the Echo offices.
I am assured the feeling lasts several days as the enzymes continue to do their stuff.
And it’s then that you get hooked and become a regular…!
Ticklfish beauty therapist Jodie Clarke said: “It’s a completely different feeling from anything else. It tickles and you don’t quite expect it.
“The closest thing I can compare it to is when you turn a tap on and feel the vibrations of the water on your skin.”
Ticklfish was set up by Gail Oxley and Sharon Ellis, from Sheffield.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Ichthyotherapy is a word to conjour with.
It’s the latest buzz-word in the world of pedicure, where you let your feet swim with the fish.
You’ve probably seen the publicity – salons setting up right, left and centre to offer fish therapy.
The scaly creatures don’t sit down and listen to your troubles … rather they nibble away at them, via your feet.
Stick your feet in a bowl of Garra Rufa fish, which originated in Turkey, and they will nibble away at your dry and dead skin, and probably tickle a bit, too.
The service is offered in Lincoln at the Kensington Salon on Rasen Lane and the new Ticklfish unit in Waterside – and fortunately the little fish have no teeth!
Their busy nibbling can also be used to ease the pain of those suffering from conditions such as eczema and psoriasis.
Both businesses also offer other services, such as teeth whitening and eyebrow waxing at the Kensington, and massages and hot stone therapy at the Waterside.
I had a 30-minute “dip” at Ticklfish.
Their watchword is putting priority on foot health. Before I even let the fish see your toes, my therapist Janine Heaton took a close look at my feet to make sure there are no wounds or illnesses. You wouldn’t wasn’t to follow someone who was suffering a verruca, would you?
After a quick footbath on warm water, I was asked to lower your feet gently into the tank, which contains about 150 of the little workers.
The first overwhelming feeling is the realisation that the fish are eyeing up their latest tasty treat. As your feet get closer to the water’s surface, they congregate as though someone has just thrown a cupful of food into the tank.
And then they’re off! And it IS a tickle. One or two will launch themselves at you while the rest go about their business, nibbling away at dry skin while you wriggle.
The tickling soon gives way to a pins and needles type of sensation, as the fishy biotherapists nibble away to give a result similar to acupuncture or reflexology.
They stimulate the points that regulate your nervous system, releasing a therapeutic enzyme and stimulating the growth of new skin cells.
I couldn’t resist looking down and watching them at work for the whole session. It’s oddly hypnotic but it’s great to see where they concentrate on.
As the therapist asks you to stretch out your toes, the fish charge in between them to give that area a good tidy up too.
And yes, after a minty foot massage from Maxine Jones afterwards, I did feel as though I was walking on air back to the Echo offices.
I am assured the feeling lasts several days as the enzymes continue to do their stuff.
And it’s then that you get hooked and become a regular…!
Ticklfish beauty therapist Jodie Clarke said: “It’s a completely different feeling from anything else. It tickles and you don’t quite expect it.
“The closest thing I can compare it to is when you turn a tap on and feel the vibrations of the water on your skin.”
Ticklfish was set up by Gail Oxley and Sharon Ellis, from Sheffield.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Thursday, January 13
Shop 'till you drop?
by Patrick Astill
We’re into the heart of the sales season already and it’s only just the New Year.
The tired old adverts for toys and food on the telly have been replaced with shiny new ones for sofas and holidays.
There are a lot of tempting offers online too – and some ungrateful people have already been bold enough to stick their unwanted Christmas presents on Ebay.
But what to buy… and can we really afford it?
Household fuel bills are facing a hike, petrol’s going up all the time – and VAT is soon going to hit us hard too.
But whether or not we have money in our pocket, I lay a bet with you right now that the Next Sale’s opening day saw feverish bargain-hunters queuing hours before opening time to grab the best deals.
And I bet BHS and Debenhams look like a jumble sale too, if the seething masses of shoppers have been rifling through their wares.
I suspect that some people might have some Christmas money to spend but many more will be buying on the never-never.
There are still plenty of catalogues that offer the service, and it’s easy to run up a tab. In fact, it is still so commonplace that when offenders have to tell magistrates their means in order for a fine to be fixed, they often quote “club book” as an important part of their regular outgoings.
But if you are looking for a true bargain, and you know for sure it’s an item you want or need, and you’re willing to spend the kind of money required, here’s my very quick guide to securing the deal.
Bargain Hunt on the telly is a game and a quest – and it’s a bit like that in normal shops in real life. You can sniff out a deal that doesn’t exist yet. Don’t be shy at asking. The assistant in Curry’s knows you will just pop next door to Comet if they don’t offer you the best deal.
If you can use older stock, something that’s not the newest model, something not in a box, a display item or something with a scratch, then that will attract the best discount, as they all need to be cleared out to make way for a new pallet of the latest stuff.
Be prepared to walk away – don’t get attached to a particular model if you can be flexible. And don’t give up because they want to make s sale, and you want to buy.
And, yes, I’ll be mooching around the showrooms this week. Carrying the bags and two paces behind my wife...
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
We’re into the heart of the sales season already and it’s only just the New Year.
The tired old adverts for toys and food on the telly have been replaced with shiny new ones for sofas and holidays.
There are a lot of tempting offers online too – and some ungrateful people have already been bold enough to stick their unwanted Christmas presents on Ebay.
But what to buy… and can we really afford it?
Household fuel bills are facing a hike, petrol’s going up all the time – and VAT is soon going to hit us hard too.
But whether or not we have money in our pocket, I lay a bet with you right now that the Next Sale’s opening day saw feverish bargain-hunters queuing hours before opening time to grab the best deals.
And I bet BHS and Debenhams look like a jumble sale too, if the seething masses of shoppers have been rifling through their wares.
I suspect that some people might have some Christmas money to spend but many more will be buying on the never-never.
There are still plenty of catalogues that offer the service, and it’s easy to run up a tab. In fact, it is still so commonplace that when offenders have to tell magistrates their means in order for a fine to be fixed, they often quote “club book” as an important part of their regular outgoings.
But if you are looking for a true bargain, and you know for sure it’s an item you want or need, and you’re willing to spend the kind of money required, here’s my very quick guide to securing the deal.
Bargain Hunt on the telly is a game and a quest – and it’s a bit like that in normal shops in real life. You can sniff out a deal that doesn’t exist yet. Don’t be shy at asking. The assistant in Curry’s knows you will just pop next door to Comet if they don’t offer you the best deal.
If you can use older stock, something that’s not the newest model, something not in a box, a display item or something with a scratch, then that will attract the best discount, as they all need to be cleared out to make way for a new pallet of the latest stuff.
Be prepared to walk away – don’t get attached to a particular model if you can be flexible. And don’t give up because they want to make s sale, and you want to buy.
And, yes, I’ll be mooching around the showrooms this week. Carrying the bags and two paces behind my wife...
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Wednesday, January 12
The Mikado - Royal Concert Hall
by Patrick Astill
The witty lyrics of a light opera from more than a century ago often need a little updating to ring true with the modern audience of today.
And a couple of excerpts from this production made the evening worthwhile.
It was a little disappointing that as a "semi-staged" production, there was no scenery, no costumes and precious little movement on stage.
The voices of the vast chorus were also a little muffled to those of us who didn't know the masterpiece inside out.
Granted, many members of the audience had most likely seen the show before and many were singing along, tapping their feet or laughing at the plot and the performance.
A manic Richard Suart as Ko-Ko stood out from the crowd, while sour-faced Jill Pert did a great job as Katisha, who she's played before.
The re-writing of Ko-Ko's "little list" brought a mesmerising updated version of people and events that won't be missed, and his dilemmas throughout the show were brilliantly expressed.
Alistair McGowan, in something of a cameo as the Mikado, hit the spot with a re-worked version of his own role, with some carefully chosen asides to the audience and a topical slant on his lyrics (in which he fortunately claims responsibility for the groaners among his gags).
So, as most of the audience already knew, Nanki-Poo, the Mikado's estranged son, disguised as a minstrel, falls in love with Yum-Yum in the town of Titipu. But she's already due to marry Ko-Ko, and they enlist the help of Pooh-Bah, the Lord High Everything Else, to solve the situation.
The second act was stolen by Richard Suart, Jill Pert and McGowan, and we left with the words and music ringing in our ears.
First published in the Nottingham Evening Post.
The witty lyrics of a light opera from more than a century ago often need a little updating to ring true with the modern audience of today.
And a couple of excerpts from this production made the evening worthwhile.
It was a little disappointing that as a "semi-staged" production, there was no scenery, no costumes and precious little movement on stage.
The voices of the vast chorus were also a little muffled to those of us who didn't know the masterpiece inside out.
Granted, many members of the audience had most likely seen the show before and many were singing along, tapping their feet or laughing at the plot and the performance.
A manic Richard Suart as Ko-Ko stood out from the crowd, while sour-faced Jill Pert did a great job as Katisha, who she's played before.
The re-writing of Ko-Ko's "little list" brought a mesmerising updated version of people and events that won't be missed, and his dilemmas throughout the show were brilliantly expressed.
Alistair McGowan, in something of a cameo as the Mikado, hit the spot with a re-worked version of his own role, with some carefully chosen asides to the audience and a topical slant on his lyrics (in which he fortunately claims responsibility for the groaners among his gags).
So, as most of the audience already knew, Nanki-Poo, the Mikado's estranged son, disguised as a minstrel, falls in love with Yum-Yum in the town of Titipu. But she's already due to marry Ko-Ko, and they enlist the help of Pooh-Bah, the Lord High Everything Else, to solve the situation.
The second act was stolen by Richard Suart, Jill Pert and McGowan, and we left with the words and music ringing in our ears.
First published in the Nottingham Evening Post.
Wednesday, January 5
Snow joke for posties
by Patrick Astill
There was a report earlier this week about how a postman had been injured in a snowball attack.
He was set upon by two grown men, who must have thought it was a great laugh.
But it was clearly an unsavoury event, because they pushed him off his bike first.
What was really going on here, though? Did the culprits imagine for a fleeting moment that they were enacting a scene from the Beano comic?
Was it on a par with knocking a policeman’s helmet off with an apple, as we saw in the old days?
Their failure to recognise that they had crossed the line shows that perhaps the days of “posties” and “coppers” are long gone, as are the days of childish fun.
For instance, how many kids own a peashooter these days? If they had a catapult would they be in line for a caution for possessing an offensive weapon?
The reality is that the boundaries are somewhat blurred.
My car was pelted with snowballs as I crawled along a snowy High Street this week, but it was some teenaged schoolkids taking pot shots at anything moving slowly enough for them to hit.
If there had been balls of ice involved, resulting in a broken window (as happened in another incident at a Grantham post office this week) perhaps I wouldn’t have been so touched by the winter wonderland feel of it all.
Of course kids want to play. It’s inevitable that older kids will indulge in horseplay. Somehow, fully-grown adults still manage to get involved in vandalism and criminal damage.
Who can teach them the difference? And how can they work out whether a prank is funny or upsetting?
My kids ambushed a neighbour this week with a hail of snowballs as he got out of his car.
He responded by sweeping all the snow from its roof on top of them with his arm as they stood there, bewildered.
Who should be handed the Asbo in that particular scenario?
And what about the men who attached the postman? A caution? An Asbo? Who knows what it would take to make them realise they got it wrong.
If the yobs needed support and rehabilitation from a probation officer – or perhaps punishment in the form of what used to be called community service – they would have to go through the court system at a high financial cost to us all.
But what a lot of fuss, and upset, for presumably what started out as an idea to have a bit of fun.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
There was a report earlier this week about how a postman had been injured in a snowball attack.
He was set upon by two grown men, who must have thought it was a great laugh.
But it was clearly an unsavoury event, because they pushed him off his bike first.
What was really going on here, though? Did the culprits imagine for a fleeting moment that they were enacting a scene from the Beano comic?
Was it on a par with knocking a policeman’s helmet off with an apple, as we saw in the old days?
Their failure to recognise that they had crossed the line shows that perhaps the days of “posties” and “coppers” are long gone, as are the days of childish fun.
For instance, how many kids own a peashooter these days? If they had a catapult would they be in line for a caution for possessing an offensive weapon?
The reality is that the boundaries are somewhat blurred.
My car was pelted with snowballs as I crawled along a snowy High Street this week, but it was some teenaged schoolkids taking pot shots at anything moving slowly enough for them to hit.
If there had been balls of ice involved, resulting in a broken window (as happened in another incident at a Grantham post office this week) perhaps I wouldn’t have been so touched by the winter wonderland feel of it all.
Of course kids want to play. It’s inevitable that older kids will indulge in horseplay. Somehow, fully-grown adults still manage to get involved in vandalism and criminal damage.
Who can teach them the difference? And how can they work out whether a prank is funny or upsetting?
My kids ambushed a neighbour this week with a hail of snowballs as he got out of his car.
He responded by sweeping all the snow from its roof on top of them with his arm as they stood there, bewildered.
Who should be handed the Asbo in that particular scenario?
And what about the men who attached the postman? A caution? An Asbo? Who knows what it would take to make them realise they got it wrong.
If the yobs needed support and rehabilitation from a probation officer – or perhaps punishment in the form of what used to be called community service – they would have to go through the court system at a high financial cost to us all.
But what a lot of fuss, and upset, for presumably what started out as an idea to have a bit of fun.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Tuesday, January 4
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases
by Patrick Astill
I noticed the chemists are all full of people holding tissues to their noises and looking for their first cold cures of the season.
We get the first bit of cooler, wetter weather and people are claiming flu, coughs, colds and head colds.
All that wind and rain last week surely can’t have wafted bird flu in from paradise?
I really don’t think they can all be ill.
Perhaps it’s psychosomatic – getting up when it’s a bit darker and watching the nights drawing in might just be helping folk imagine themselves into a wintry state of mind.
Are we lulling ourselves into sickness and snot simply because we’re dreading the thought of five months of winter?
We all know that illness can be affected by your thoughts.
Particularly traumatic experiences in life can literally turn people’s hair grey – or make them lose weight or become chronically sick with a whole variety of illness.
So is the same thing happening with the change of seasons on a lesser scale?
They say there’s something called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is down to a lack of sunlight.
But surely that isn’t restricted to the wintertime with our odd climate?
And anyway, that doesn’t give us a cold, just makes us glum.
Back-to-school germ sharing must have finished by now. That annual phenomenon is good news of course, because it hardens off the immune system to battle the dangers ahead …
The clocks haven’t even been put back yet. It’s not been wellie weather for schoolkids. We haven’t had a truly cold night.
Yet everyone seems to have had their heating on.
When I was a lad even the schools weren’t allowed to fire up the boiler until after half-term week.
Maybe the warm environment, combined with people staying in and sitting inside steamed-up public transport is the key?
Or perhaps the first warning shots from mother nature that winter is finally on its way reminded people to stock up on their vitamin C and menthol pastilles … just in case.
That rush to the pharmacy counter might have combined with the snifflers and splutterers to cause the queues this week.
Whatever it is, I’d wager that a healthy outlook on life might count just as much as any over-the-counter proprietary brand.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
I noticed the chemists are all full of people holding tissues to their noises and looking for their first cold cures of the season.
We get the first bit of cooler, wetter weather and people are claiming flu, coughs, colds and head colds.
All that wind and rain last week surely can’t have wafted bird flu in from paradise?
I really don’t think they can all be ill.
Perhaps it’s psychosomatic – getting up when it’s a bit darker and watching the nights drawing in might just be helping folk imagine themselves into a wintry state of mind.
Are we lulling ourselves into sickness and snot simply because we’re dreading the thought of five months of winter?
We all know that illness can be affected by your thoughts.
Particularly traumatic experiences in life can literally turn people’s hair grey – or make them lose weight or become chronically sick with a whole variety of illness.
So is the same thing happening with the change of seasons on a lesser scale?
They say there’s something called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is down to a lack of sunlight.
But surely that isn’t restricted to the wintertime with our odd climate?
And anyway, that doesn’t give us a cold, just makes us glum.
Back-to-school germ sharing must have finished by now. That annual phenomenon is good news of course, because it hardens off the immune system to battle the dangers ahead …
The clocks haven’t even been put back yet. It’s not been wellie weather for schoolkids. We haven’t had a truly cold night.
Yet everyone seems to have had their heating on.
When I was a lad even the schools weren’t allowed to fire up the boiler until after half-term week.
Maybe the warm environment, combined with people staying in and sitting inside steamed-up public transport is the key?
Or perhaps the first warning shots from mother nature that winter is finally on its way reminded people to stock up on their vitamin C and menthol pastilles … just in case.
That rush to the pharmacy counter might have combined with the snifflers and splutterers to cause the queues this week.
Whatever it is, I’d wager that a healthy outlook on life might count just as much as any over-the-counter proprietary brand.
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Monday, January 3
Surviving Christmas - just a state of mind?
by Patrick Astill
Yes, it’s the season to be jolly, but it’s also a time when stresses and ailments can take their toll.
Why not give a thought to surviving winter and the festivities, as we ask some experts how you can alleviate those pressures for yourself.
The first step, of course, is to accept that Christmas time will bring additional stresses.
That means that you’ll have to work harder to keep the normal things going and acknowledge from the outset that your current lack of routine – being off work, having lots of visitors and so on - might be unhelpful.
There’s always the danger at Christmas that you try to spread yourself too thinly and aim to please everyone.
The message here, quite simply, is “don’t do it!”.
You should take control of your own destiny. It’s not rude to decline an invitation – after all, you can’t be everywhere at once.
And don't be afraid to say how YOU want to spend Christmas. You’ll be unhappy if everyone else decides what you should do, and when. You are entitled to change things and there's no need to feel guilty or be apologetic.
Try to factor in a day off from full-on socialising or entertaining. You owe it to yourself.
Lincoln-based life coach Philip Underwood said: “You can learn to say no and not feel guilty.
“First of all, you acknowledge the request on your time by saying how nice it was of them to ask.
“Then decline. Say something like, unfortunately I’m not going to be able to do this.
“Then the important part – give a reason. This is where you have to get creative, but it could be something as simple as saying ‘I’ve already committed that time to be with my family’.
“Last of all, offer an alternative. By doing that it puts you in the driving seat.”
And it’s vital to work in some “me” time.
“Christmas is a time for the family but there’s got to be ‘me’ time built into that.
“We are individuals who are part of a family. When we spend so much time with other people we must find time to love ourselves too.
“After all, it is a holiday and time to relax and reflect.”
* TOP TIP: Help preserve calm at tense family gatherings by drawing up a
list of the sensitive topics which are 'banned' (such as politics or
another branch of the family), and agree a present limit to avoid
competition over giving. You may be surprised to find many relatives
feel the same as you do if you have the courage to raise the issue.
There’s a lot of temptation about to over indulge both in terms of food and alcohol.
There's really no need to hoover up everything in sight when you sit down to eat. By making eating a conscious process you'll be in control of the food and let it know you are the boss. Feeling tired and stressed will make you more vulnerable to eating for comfort and drinking to relax which will result in depressing and unhealthy weight gain.
Nutritionist Louise Carder, who runs Lincoln Nutrition, said: “The simple answer is just to be a little bit more aware of what you are eating at this time of year, when it is easy to over-eat.
“A meal sized portion can be approximated by cupping your hands together in a fairly open fashion, your meal should be able to fit in that space.
“Turkey itself is not an unhealthy food, it is everything else that goes along with it, such as calorie laden puddings, alcohol and chocolate.
“Temptation is there, but if you are going to indulge just limit yourself to one mince pie not two.
“The average person puts on 5lbs over the festive period, so if you are going to eat a little more just be aware you will have to work harder in the new year to lose it again.
“Try not to eat for the sake of it. Thirst can often be mistaken for hunger, so have a glass of water and then decide if you really want something to eat.”
Unfortunately, skipping meals can also equal stress.
If you’re busy, relying on coffee and the odd snack means blood sugar drops and in response the body releases stress hormones, which make people feel even more panicky, irritable and anxious.
Women – in particular - juggling work, family and festive preparations often skip meals to save time, and hope it’ll keep them trim.
But that’s a bad idea.
Louise said: “Skipping meals is the worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose weight.
“Skipping meals on a regular basis can lead to problems with blood sugar levels, which can result in headaches, irritability and feeling faint.
“If your blood sugar is low then you tend to crave a quick sugary fix, which satisfies for only a short while before you need another one. It is like being on a sugar roller coaster, with the result being excess calories taken on board via unhealthy sugary foods.
“By not skipping meals you are making sure your blood sugar levels stay more stable and you can then choose the food you want to eat, including healthy options, rather than having short notice cravings that have to be satisfied immediately.”
You can also pace yourself with the booze.
Everyone knows that avoiding the hangover in the first place is by far the best remedy, and celebrity doc Hilary Jones agrees.
He suggests minimising the effects of alcohol by having food before you drink, choosing lower strength drinks like a spritzer (white wine and water), alternating a glass of water with an alcoholic drink and drinking several glasses of water before going to sleep.
If you do go out, and there’s lots to drink on offer, county advice group lincs2alcohol.co.uk suggests these tips to avoid binge drinking:
* Drink long drinks, such as shandy, as they take longer to drink.
* Put your drink down on the table rather than holding it in your hand
as you will drink slower.
* Try to alternate you alcoholic drinks with soft drinks.
* Limit the amount of time you are out. If you know you won’t be home
until late then go out later, are you really missing anything?
* Limit the amount of money you have on you and leave your bank card at
home!
* Sip drinks rather than gulping!
You might need to get firm in refusing alcohol if you start to feel as though you’re losing control, or worry about you actions.
If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to say no, look the person in the eye and ask them firmly to stop buying you drinks.
Don’t feel bad about refusing – the more practice you get, the easier it will become and the less people will ask you about having an alcoholic drink.
If you do succumb, a traditional natural remedy you might try would be Nux Vomica, available from Boots and other health food shops, good for a hangover, nausea, vomiting and constipation.
Jo Smith, healthy lifestyles team leader at the city council, said: “Food Standards Agency advice is that the two main features of a healthy diet are to eat the right amount of food for how active you are and to eat a range of foods to make sure you get a balanced diet.
“This can still be done over Christmas with a little thought. Think about mixing lots of fruit and vegetables with starchy foods like wholemeal bread and protein like meat and fish, and try to keep control of your portion sizes.
“Try to exercise over Christmas too. A Boxing Day walk is a big favourite for working off some of the excesses from Christmas day.
“Our Healthy Lifestyle Team is here to support people in making healthy lifestyle choices. To find out what the Healthy Lifestyles Team can do for you, call 01522 873581 or text CHANGE to 64446.”
You can minimise the risk of a bad cold or flu over the festive period by taking time to plan ahead – without having to trouble your family doctor.
Homeopath and health counsellor Annie Hall, who has a clinic in Lincoln, said: “One of the problems with both colds and flu is that you may well need to change the homeopathic remedy daily.
“While aconite may well help at first, then you may well need pulsatilla or gelsemium if you have full-blown flu, where you can’t move and have heavy limbs.
“It can be done homeopathically, which is what people used long before antibiotics became available.”
She also provides a helpful definition of flu, distinguishing it from a cold or even the notorious ‘man-flu’.
“It’s when you are in bed and ill, no one really knows how ill you are,” she said.
“And even if there was a £50 note floating at the end of your bed, you are far to ill to stretch out and catch it.
“Anything else is a bad cold. If you have that sort of proper flu then stay away from colleagues, they may well not be as fit as they should be and will not thank you for spreading it.”
* TOP TIP: When you’re out wear a woolly scarf and cover up your nose as well as your neck. The nose is the first line of defence against winter germs which cause sore throats and colds, but cold temperatures make the small hairs in our noses, and lungs, which help get rid of mucus and particles, less efficient.
Maybe, just maybe, surviving Christmas is a state of mind.
Be proactive.
As health counsellor Annie Hall, who also has clinics in Stamford and Louth says: “I have a bee in my bonnet about preventative care, so striving for personal happiness so one can share it with others has always been at the top of my list.
“I try to practice what I preach so I walk with my dog, help to look after the grand children, go to a concert, have a good yatter with a friend, read a borrowed good book, learn another tricky Scottish Country Dance, and volunteer with the Stamford Orchard Group.
“All these help to keep me happy. Yes I think I tick most of the boxes, do you?”
* TOP TIP: If you’re missing out on regular exercise, and can't get out for a run or a brisk walk, run up and down stairs several times in the morning and evening. Use water bottles as hand weights, lifting them in spare moments - such as waiting for a phone call or the kettle to boil - to tone upper arms. a walk, or a snowball fight, or get busy with wii fit can help!
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
Yes, it’s the season to be jolly, but it’s also a time when stresses and ailments can take their toll.
Why not give a thought to surviving winter and the festivities, as we ask some experts how you can alleviate those pressures for yourself.
The first step, of course, is to accept that Christmas time will bring additional stresses.
That means that you’ll have to work harder to keep the normal things going and acknowledge from the outset that your current lack of routine – being off work, having lots of visitors and so on - might be unhelpful.
There’s always the danger at Christmas that you try to spread yourself too thinly and aim to please everyone.
The message here, quite simply, is “don’t do it!”.
You should take control of your own destiny. It’s not rude to decline an invitation – after all, you can’t be everywhere at once.
And don't be afraid to say how YOU want to spend Christmas. You’ll be unhappy if everyone else decides what you should do, and when. You are entitled to change things and there's no need to feel guilty or be apologetic.
Try to factor in a day off from full-on socialising or entertaining. You owe it to yourself.
Lincoln-based life coach Philip Underwood said: “You can learn to say no and not feel guilty.
“First of all, you acknowledge the request on your time by saying how nice it was of them to ask.
“Then decline. Say something like, unfortunately I’m not going to be able to do this.
“Then the important part – give a reason. This is where you have to get creative, but it could be something as simple as saying ‘I’ve already committed that time to be with my family’.
“Last of all, offer an alternative. By doing that it puts you in the driving seat.”
And it’s vital to work in some “me” time.
“Christmas is a time for the family but there’s got to be ‘me’ time built into that.
“We are individuals who are part of a family. When we spend so much time with other people we must find time to love ourselves too.
“After all, it is a holiday and time to relax and reflect.”
* TOP TIP: Help preserve calm at tense family gatherings by drawing up a
list of the sensitive topics which are 'banned' (such as politics or
another branch of the family), and agree a present limit to avoid
competition over giving. You may be surprised to find many relatives
feel the same as you do if you have the courage to raise the issue.
There’s a lot of temptation about to over indulge both in terms of food and alcohol.
There's really no need to hoover up everything in sight when you sit down to eat. By making eating a conscious process you'll be in control of the food and let it know you are the boss. Feeling tired and stressed will make you more vulnerable to eating for comfort and drinking to relax which will result in depressing and unhealthy weight gain.
Nutritionist Louise Carder, who runs Lincoln Nutrition, said: “The simple answer is just to be a little bit more aware of what you are eating at this time of year, when it is easy to over-eat.
“A meal sized portion can be approximated by cupping your hands together in a fairly open fashion, your meal should be able to fit in that space.
“Turkey itself is not an unhealthy food, it is everything else that goes along with it, such as calorie laden puddings, alcohol and chocolate.
“Temptation is there, but if you are going to indulge just limit yourself to one mince pie not two.
“The average person puts on 5lbs over the festive period, so if you are going to eat a little more just be aware you will have to work harder in the new year to lose it again.
“Try not to eat for the sake of it. Thirst can often be mistaken for hunger, so have a glass of water and then decide if you really want something to eat.”
Unfortunately, skipping meals can also equal stress.
If you’re busy, relying on coffee and the odd snack means blood sugar drops and in response the body releases stress hormones, which make people feel even more panicky, irritable and anxious.
Women – in particular - juggling work, family and festive preparations often skip meals to save time, and hope it’ll keep them trim.
But that’s a bad idea.
Louise said: “Skipping meals is the worst thing you can do if you are trying to lose weight.
“Skipping meals on a regular basis can lead to problems with blood sugar levels, which can result in headaches, irritability and feeling faint.
“If your blood sugar is low then you tend to crave a quick sugary fix, which satisfies for only a short while before you need another one. It is like being on a sugar roller coaster, with the result being excess calories taken on board via unhealthy sugary foods.
“By not skipping meals you are making sure your blood sugar levels stay more stable and you can then choose the food you want to eat, including healthy options, rather than having short notice cravings that have to be satisfied immediately.”
You can also pace yourself with the booze.
Everyone knows that avoiding the hangover in the first place is by far the best remedy, and celebrity doc Hilary Jones agrees.
He suggests minimising the effects of alcohol by having food before you drink, choosing lower strength drinks like a spritzer (white wine and water), alternating a glass of water with an alcoholic drink and drinking several glasses of water before going to sleep.
If you do go out, and there’s lots to drink on offer, county advice group lincs2alcohol.co.uk suggests these tips to avoid binge drinking:
* Drink long drinks, such as shandy, as they take longer to drink.
* Put your drink down on the table rather than holding it in your hand
as you will drink slower.
* Try to alternate you alcoholic drinks with soft drinks.
* Limit the amount of time you are out. If you know you won’t be home
until late then go out later, are you really missing anything?
* Limit the amount of money you have on you and leave your bank card at
home!
* Sip drinks rather than gulping!
You might need to get firm in refusing alcohol if you start to feel as though you’re losing control, or worry about you actions.
If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to say no, look the person in the eye and ask them firmly to stop buying you drinks.
Don’t feel bad about refusing – the more practice you get, the easier it will become and the less people will ask you about having an alcoholic drink.
If you do succumb, a traditional natural remedy you might try would be Nux Vomica, available from Boots and other health food shops, good for a hangover, nausea, vomiting and constipation.
Jo Smith, healthy lifestyles team leader at the city council, said: “Food Standards Agency advice is that the two main features of a healthy diet are to eat the right amount of food for how active you are and to eat a range of foods to make sure you get a balanced diet.
“This can still be done over Christmas with a little thought. Think about mixing lots of fruit and vegetables with starchy foods like wholemeal bread and protein like meat and fish, and try to keep control of your portion sizes.
“Try to exercise over Christmas too. A Boxing Day walk is a big favourite for working off some of the excesses from Christmas day.
“Our Healthy Lifestyle Team is here to support people in making healthy lifestyle choices. To find out what the Healthy Lifestyles Team can do for you, call 01522 873581 or text CHANGE to 64446.”
You can minimise the risk of a bad cold or flu over the festive period by taking time to plan ahead – without having to trouble your family doctor.
Homeopath and health counsellor Annie Hall, who has a clinic in Lincoln, said: “One of the problems with both colds and flu is that you may well need to change the homeopathic remedy daily.
“While aconite may well help at first, then you may well need pulsatilla or gelsemium if you have full-blown flu, where you can’t move and have heavy limbs.
“It can be done homeopathically, which is what people used long before antibiotics became available.”
She also provides a helpful definition of flu, distinguishing it from a cold or even the notorious ‘man-flu’.
“It’s when you are in bed and ill, no one really knows how ill you are,” she said.
“And even if there was a £50 note floating at the end of your bed, you are far to ill to stretch out and catch it.
“Anything else is a bad cold. If you have that sort of proper flu then stay away from colleagues, they may well not be as fit as they should be and will not thank you for spreading it.”
* TOP TIP: When you’re out wear a woolly scarf and cover up your nose as well as your neck. The nose is the first line of defence against winter germs which cause sore throats and colds, but cold temperatures make the small hairs in our noses, and lungs, which help get rid of mucus and particles, less efficient.
Maybe, just maybe, surviving Christmas is a state of mind.
Be proactive.
As health counsellor Annie Hall, who also has clinics in Stamford and Louth says: “I have a bee in my bonnet about preventative care, so striving for personal happiness so one can share it with others has always been at the top of my list.
“I try to practice what I preach so I walk with my dog, help to look after the grand children, go to a concert, have a good yatter with a friend, read a borrowed good book, learn another tricky Scottish Country Dance, and volunteer with the Stamford Orchard Group.
“All these help to keep me happy. Yes I think I tick most of the boxes, do you?”
* TOP TIP: If you’re missing out on regular exercise, and can't get out for a run or a brisk walk, run up and down stairs several times in the morning and evening. Use water bottles as hand weights, lifting them in spare moments - such as waiting for a phone call or the kettle to boil - to tone upper arms. a walk, or a snowball fight, or get busy with wii fit can help!
First published in the Lincolnshire Echo.
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