Monday, February 28

The Mark Steel Solution

Lover of sport, keen observer of politics - and someone who has an insatiable interest in people and places: that’s Mark Steel.

When I spoke to him in advance of his Lincoln gig,  he’d just been “prostituting” himself listening to England losing in the 20/20 cricket, and I interrupted his enjoyment of the post-match analysis.

As he stirred his morning cuppa, he explained how the idea of his new show is that as more and more places are made to look identical, each town becomes the same,  with identical retail parks and call centres.

And yet he believes that every town has something – and even if the place is “a dump” he is moved by the fact  the people there have things they feel  proud of.

“It’s our little thing, almost a rebellion against the corporate world,” he said, ”and that’s what the show is about.

“As a stand-up, you look for something  in a place that can only happen there. I was in Penzance when I heard they thought this town up the coast called St Ives was a bit posh. So I asked the audience at the show and a woman called out ‘yes they are – they have their own dentist!’”

Mark is obviously a man passionate to communicate his own ideas and experiences, and covers a lot of ground on the tour.

“I do remember coming to Lincoln before.” he recalls. “People are surprised by its prettiness aren’t they?

“I remember going into the library or museum there. I went in ten minutes before it was shutting because it was next to the theatre. The man came over to me and said ‘get out, what time do you think it is, coming in here?’

“I’m an expert on Boston. I spent some time there once and became quite fond of it.

“It’s so incredibly flat there. It’s marvellously flat. I remember doing a joke about Boston applying to become the Winter Olympic venue, with the toboggan team coming home in three-and-a- half weeks. They must all go to Lincoln to look at that hill. You’re almost sideways on there aren’t you?”

He confided that he would be  sending off for information  and would  be reading  all about Lincoln, just in case things have changed since he was last in town.

I was duty-bound to inquire about his views on the coalition and the economy, given his outspoken opinions on the last  government.

“Don’t ask me about that. It makes it sound like I‘m going to stand up and do an analysis on oil prospects. I can’t stand them and I wish they’d all go away.

“It’s not a by-election that will force them to go away, but when more people realise there’s injustice with social services and libraries closing when others are giving themselves £8 million, and that’s just in bonuses ...

“I’m just writing the tour at the moment, which is much harder than touring – when I’ve just got to turn up and do it.  I’m writing a bit of stuff about each town. And there are about 45 in all. I’ll do about five in a row – you wouldn’t want to do any more than that or you’d go a little mad.”

He is also planning another series of Mark Steel’s In Town, with a whole lot of new places.

But returning to the subject of sport – and the 20/20 cricket in particular, he confessed he was really a fan of the full-blown game, usually played over five days rather than a couple of hours. But yet he still watches.

He said: “I feel a little thrill, but I feel it’s like going to a prostitute. I got a little tingle now and again, when one of them hit a six or something.

“I suggested that ITV should commission a series in which there’s a cricketing detective and every week he’s just fielding and goes off to the boundary and finds a dead body and spends the rest of the day solving the crime.

“It would be ‘the vicar said he would be fielding at cover last week, but that can’t be the case’.”

Live: John Shuttleworth

It might have been the right time for Sheffield’s finest synthesiser entertainer John Shuttleworth to instruct the nation in moral matters.

But instead, thanks to his  agent Ken Worthington’s mistyping, his tour is now A Man with No More Rolls.

But as the man responsible for bringing his character to the stage, Graham Fellows, reveals, Shuttleworth is more than happy to wax lyrical on the new title.

“John is very happy to go along with that as he sees the roll as being threatened by Italian flatbreads, crusty cobs and new paninis and ciabbattas,” says Graham, ahead of his Drill Hall gig.

“It’s not about the plot, it’s about the details of his life. He’s concerned about the things that really matter to him, such as whether crab paste is being affected by our love for pesto and being hidden behind it on the supermarket shelves.

“It’s a piece of theatre, an illusion. We’re laughing at John but with him too. The audience can see themselves and people they know in John. We’re all a little like that really – emptying the bin is important.

“John talks about the cafetiere because he thought the plunger was to keep the coffee warm. You only make that mistake once so he threw is out and went back to Mellow Birds.”

John is also a composer and musician, as listeners of his radio shows will know only too well.

Smells Like White Spirit (with a nod to Nirvana), advises on how best to clean your paint brushes, while the ballad How’s Your Nan? is in praise of naan bread while also touching on caring for elderly members of the community.

Graham, who lives in Lincolnshire, admitted he was a little surprised at Shuttleworth’s longevity, although his success had allowed his creator to live in “wonderful Louth”, only returning to the south for work appointments before retreating back into a Lincolnshire life.

And he loved the fact his creation is a character, which enabled him to live a normal life away from work, going virtually unnoticed.

“I enjoy that,” he says. “I had a few months being recognised when I was Jilted John.

“I don’t like being noticed: much of my creative work is with observing people and it stops you doing that.”

He is famous for hitting the charts in the late 70s as Jilted John, with the No4 hit single Jilted John.

Listening to his records, it is clear that Graham is a fan of telling it how it is - both through the lyrics of Shuttleworth and those of his one-hit wonder.

“Here’s a throughline there in that I always like to capture the way that people sound, “ he says.

“Going Steady [the B side to Jilted John] is very basic and told in the vernacular. It still irks me that lyrics are still so unrealistic. Even punk didn’t really break new ground with realistic lyrics.”